Ramesh: “Why did you run away from the operation table?”

Suresh : “The nurse was repeatedly saying ‘don’t get nervous’, ‘don’t be afraid’, ‘be strong’, ‘this is a small operation only’..”

Ramesh: “So what was wrong in that? Why are you so afraid?”

Suresh😧: “She was talking to the Doctor !”

..😂😂😂…

तबीयत खराब थी,

ना कोई दवा, न कोई ताबीज काम आया,

फ़ोन कर के पति से लड़ी,

फिर जाकर थोड़ा आराम आया….

😃😃😜😜😂😂😫😫😷😷

Aaj ke Shaitan Bachche.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Principal : School ka time 8 baje ka tha aur tum 9 baje aa rahe ho?

Little Cute Student: Sir aap na mera Intezar mat kiya karo, School shuru kar diya karo. 😉

दे थप्पड़ पे थप्पड़

🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀

Boy : Mom, please give me a glass of water.

Mom : You come and drink it, I am busy.

Boy : Please mom.

Mom : If you repeat, I’ll slap you.

Boy : When you come to slap me, bring the water.

दे थप्पड़ पे थप्पड़

🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀

Nursery ke student ne Exam sheet pe SUSU kar Diya.

Teacher : Yeh kya kiya hai ?

Student : Mummy ne kaha tha ki Pehle jo aa raha ho wahi karna. 😝

दे थप्पड़ पे थप्पड़

🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀

Dukandar se Chota Baccha : Uncle Rang Gora karne wali Cream hai.

Dukandar : Haan hai.

Baccha: Toh lagata kyun nahi, main roz tujhe dekhkar darr jata hoon. 😜

दे थप्पड़ पे थप्पड़

🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀

Beta – Papa, aap jaise mujhe marte ho, vaise Dadaji bhi apko marte the kya ?

Papa – Bilkul marte the.

Beta – Toh yeh khandani Gundagardi kab tak Chalengi…😝

दे थप्पड़ पे थप्पड़

🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀

A Cute Sentence Written By A Child On His Maths Book :

“Dear Maths ! Please Grow Up and Start solving your Problems yourself. I have my own Problems!” 😂

दे थप्पड़ पे थप्पड़

🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀

Father :- Agar iss bar tum exam mein fail hue to mujhe Papa mat kehna…😡😡

After Exam…..

Father : What is your result ?

Son 😡: Dimag kharab mat kar Dharampal, tu baap hone ka haq kho chuka hai.

दे थप्पड़ पे थप्पड़

Husband came home very sad.

Wife asked; What happened?

Husband, our office building collapsed killing all my colleagues.

Wife; but how did you survive?

Husband; I was out for a smoke.

Wife; thank God you survived.

Husband opens Television, Chief Minister was on the scene announcing 10 Cr each, to the deceased families.

Wife; I have become sick and tired of your smoking habit.

😮😮😮😁🤣😂

A woman went for fishing. She eventually got tired so she sat, packed her fishing gear & started reading a book.

A Policeman came & said: Mam u r in “NO” fishing Zone.

She replied: “I am reading not fishing.”

The policeman said: “But u have all equipment & u might start anytime.”

The woman shouted back: “Im not fishing here and now u r sexually harassing me.”

Shocked policeman replied: “I am not doing anything!”

She smiled: “You have all equipment & might start

anytime!”

Moral : Never Argue with a Woman

Because none of us have many years to live, and we can’t take along anything when we go, so we don’t have to be too thrifty.

Spend the money that should be spent, enjoy what should be enjoyed, donate what you are able to donate

DON’T WORRY about what will happen after we are gone, because when we return to dust, we will feel nothing about praises or criticisms. The time to enjoy the worldly life and your hard earned wealth will be over!

DON’T WORRY too much about your children, for children will have their own destiny and should find their own way. Care for them, love them, give them gifts but also enjoy your money or what is left of it, while you can. Life should have more to it than working from the cradle to the grave!!

40-year olds, don’t trade in – your health for wealth, by working yourself to an early grave anymore. Because your money may not be able to buy your health.

When to stop making money, and how much is enough

Out of thousand hectares of good farm land, you can consume only three quarts (of rice) daily; out of a thousand mansions, you only need eight square meters of space to rest at night.

So, as long as you have enough food and enough money to spend, that is good enough. You should live happily. Every family has its own problems.

Just DO NOT COMPARE with others for fame and social status and see whose children are doing better etc., but challenge others for happiness, health, enjoyment, quality of life and longevity.

DON’T WORRY about things that you can’t change because it doesn’t help and it may spoil your health.

You have to create your own well-being and find your own place of happiness. As long as you are in good mood and good health, think about happy things, do happy things daily and have fun in doing, then you will pass your time happily every day.

One day passes WITHOUT happiness, you will lose one day.

One day passes WITH happiness and then you gain one day.

In good spirit, sickness will cure;

In a happy spirit, sickness will cure faster;

in high and happy spirits, sickness will never come.

With good mood, exercise, sun, variety of foods, good amount of vitamin and mineral intake, hopefully you will live another 30 or 40 years of healthy life

ABOVE ALL –

Learn to cherish the goodness around… like your Spouse, Children and FRIENDS……….. They all make you feel young and “wanted”… without them you are surely to feel lost !!

Wishing you all the best for the years to come. Sadguru 💐🙏🔔

Please share this with all your friends who are 40 plus and those who will be 40 plus after some time.

UK Judge to Mallya: you looted the Indian Republic.

Mallya replied: the British empire looted India before me.

Judge smiled: you are one of us, bail granted! 😄😄😄

A rich man needs_______.

A poor man has_______.

If u eat_______u die & when

u die u can take_______ with u !

One word fits all 4 blank spaces! Its a seven letter word. What’s the answer ? Send this to all your contacts and see how clever they are.

Answer please

Apple launched the revolutionary faceID security feature…

Meanwhile 3 months later in Kanpur:

“Beta aisa muh todenge ki zindagi bhar tumra Iphonwa lock hi rahega”

😜

👦पति– जब हमारी नई-नई शादी हुई थी,

तब तुम कितना तहजीब से बोलती थी

और अब….???

👩पत्नि — पहले मै रामायण देखती थी,

और

अबक्राईम पेट्रोल देखती हू ।😂😂😂😉😉

Wife : मेहमान आ रहे हैं और घर में दाल के सिवाय कुछ बना नहीं है.

Husband : जब वे आएं तो kitchen में एक बर्तन गिरा देना, और

जब मैं पूछूं तो कहना कि शाही पनीर गिर गया !

फिर दूसरा बर्तन गिराना और कहना पनीर भुज्जी भी गिर गई !!

फिर मैं कहूंगा चलो दाल ही ले आओ..✌😎

मेहमानों के आने के बाद बर्तन गिरने की आवाज़ आई,

Husband : क्या हुआ??

Wife : भंगड़ा पा ले कंजरा..

दाल ही गिर गई !! 😱🙈

😂😂

JAWAN: हेलो सर , मुझे टेररिस्ट ने पकड़ लिया है, दोनों हाथ काट दिए, आँख फोड़ दी, किडनी निकाल ली

CHM : देख ले…. हो सके तो आजा, आज inspection है.

दोस्त अब थकने लगे है

किसीका पेट निकल आया है,

किसीके बाल पकने लगे है…

सब पर भारी ज़िम्मेदारी है,

सबको छोटी मोटी कोई बीमारी है।

दिनभर जो भागते दौड़ते थे,

वो अब चलते चलते भी रुकने लगे है।

पर ये हकीकत है,

सब दोस्त थकने लगे है…1

किसी को लोन की फ़िक्र है,

कहीं हेल्थ टेस्ट का ज़िक्र है।

फुर्सत की सब को कमी है,

आँखों में अजीब सी नमीं है।

कल जो प्यार के ख़त लिखते थे,

आज बीमे के फार्म भरने में लगे है।

पर ये हकीकत है

सब दोस्त थकने लगे है….2

देख कर पुरानी तस्वीरें,

आज जी भर आता है।

क्या अजीब शै है ये वक़्त भी,

किस तरहा ये गुज़र जाता है।

कल का जवान दोस्त मेरा,आज अधेड़ नज़र आता है…

ख़्वाब सजाते थे जो कभी ,

आज गुज़रे दिनों में खोने लगे है।

पर ये हकीकत है

सब दोस्त थकने लगे है…