Yoga Tips :
पत्नी कुछ भी कहे तो
गर्दन को दो बार ऊपर से नीचे करें ,
ये सर्वश्रेष्ट योग है,
यह योग न सिर्फ आपको बीपी, अनिद्रा, बेचैनी, चिढ़चिढ़ापन इत्यादि रोगों से बचाता है बल्कि यह योग आपके खुशहाल जीवन की कुँजी है….
नोट : गर्दन को कभी भी दाँये से बाँये न घुमावें, येजान लेवा हो सकता है…..😜😂
🏃🏻🏃🏻 अन्तराष्ट्रिय योग दिवस की हार्दिक शुभकामनाएँ 🏃🏻🏃🏻
After finishing dinner in a restaurant, the wife told her husband, “give some tip to the waiter”.
Husband called the waiter and told:
“Don’t get married!”
😜😜😜😜😜
Husband ….. Where did I go wrong ????
Wife ….. You tried to correct me..
🤣😍🙏
डॉक्टर ने मरीज़ को रोज़ाना दस किलोमीटर चलने को कहा
साल भर बाद मरीज़ ने डॉक्टर को फोन किया कि
अफगानिस्तान पहुँच गया हूँ,
वापस अा जाऊ या आगे रूस निकल जाऊं🤣🤣🤣
टीचर- रहीम का कोई भी एक दोहा सुनाओ ।
पप्पू- सर मुझे ठीक से नहीं आता ।
टीचर- तुम्हें जैसा आता है वैसा ही सुना दो ।
पप्पू- कभी प्यासे को वाटर पिलाया नहीं,
बाद में क्वाटर पिलाने से क्या फायदा ।
टीचर- बैठ जा, काम के वक़्त मन भटका
रहा है…..😬😂🤣
Ramesh: “Why did you run away from the operation table?”
Suresh : “The nurse was repeatedly saying ‘don’t get nervous’, ‘don’t be afraid’, ‘be strong’, ‘this is a small operation only’..”
Ramesh: “So what was wrong in that? Why are you so afraid?”
Suresh😧: “She was talking to the Doctor !”
..😂😂😂…
तबीयत खराब थी,
ना कोई दवा, न कोई ताबीज काम आया,
फ़ोन कर के पति से लड़ी,
फिर जाकर थोड़ा आराम आया….
😃😃😜😜😂😂😫😫😷😷
1- Dekh Bhai, Mana ki bura hun par itna bhi nai k yaad bhi na aau.
2- Status dalne k liye kisi college ki nahi knowledge ki zrurat padti h jo mere pas h..
3- Meri pasand or meri phchan har kisi ki samajh me nahi aate.
4- Hmari baat isiliye hoti hai kyuki hum me ek alag hi baat hai.
5- Hmara raaz hai, pasand karne walo ke dil me or nafrat karne walo ke dimag me.
6- DP mat dekho, dekhna hai to dil dekho brande hai.
7- Muft me to me kisi ko chocolate na du, dil to bahut dur ki baat hai.
8- Exam me fail hone ka sawal hi hai kyuki usne mujhe best of luck kaha hai.
9- Kaam karo to aisa ki naam ho jaye warna naam aisa karo ki kaam ho jaye.
10- Jise jitna ruthna h ruth jaye, jis din hum ruth gaye sab ruthna bhul jaenge.
11- Hum bhi bas ab unhe hi yaad rkhte hain jo hume yaad krte hain.
12- Hume koi gam nahi k wo na mile, gam to wo krenge jinhe hum na mile.
13- Bhaw hum dete nahi aur akad hum se sahi nahi jati.
14- Wo ladki hi kya… Jo jiddi na ho.
15- Tumhara attitude mujhe dukh phucha skta hai par mera tumhari jaan le sakta hai.
16- Zindagi chahe kitni bhi rude ho fark nahi padta kyuki hum bhi dude hai.
17- Teri DP dekh kar zamana ruk jata hai or meri DP dekh kar zamana jhuk jata hai.
18- Dekh pagli, status mat dekh kuch nahi milega.
19- Attitude to hoga hi kyuki tere jewar se jyada kimti mere tewar hain.
20- Jo log dil se bat krte hain unhe hum kabhi dimag se jawab nahi dete.
21- Hum bure hai shayad isi liye ji rahe hain.
22- Apni to bat hi alag hai jo krde sab ki band aankhe jhapak jhapak.
23- Zindgi me kisi ke liye bhi khud ko nahi badalna chaiye.
24- Log mere bare me kya sochte hain agar ye b me sochu to wo kya sochenge.
25- Jin logo ko mera attitude pasand nahi wo mujhse bolna chod sakte hain.
26- Jo sudhar jaye wo hum nahi or koi sudhar sake itna kisi me dum nahi.
27- Dil ka tutna zaruri hai, dil tutega nahi to koi jodega kese?
28- Teri duniya me jitni bhi shaurat hai, sab meri hi badaulat hai.
29- Dil ki suno par dimag ko b nazar andaz mat karo.
30- Kuch log zindagi me sirf kuch sikhane ke liye aate hai na ki sath nibhane ke liye..
Aawaragi chod di hamne to log bhulane lage hame,
varna shourat kadam chumti thi jab ham badnaam hua karte the…!!
Karle aaj didar mera facebook pe ji bharke,
taras jaegi ek jalak ke liye jis din wikipedia me milunga…!!
teri to jid ki aokaat bhi nahi hain,
warna maan bhi leta…!!
Yaad nahi karoge to bhul bhi na sakoge,
mera khyal jehan se mitha bhi na sakoge,
ek bar jo tum mere gam se miloge,
to saari umar muskura na sakoge…!!
Wo taras jayengi pyar ki ek bund ke liye;
main to baadal hoon kisi aur pe baras jauga…!!
Bina maksad bahut mushkil hain jina,
Khuda aabaad rakhna dushmano ko mere…!!
usne humse pucha teri raja kya hai,
kyon karte ho pasand wajah kya hai,
koi batae use meri khata kya hai,
jo wajah se kare pasand kisi ko,
usme maja kya hai !!
Haq se de to nafrat bhi sar aankhon par,
khairat me to teri mohhabat bhi manjur nahi !!
Dokha diya tha jab tun muje.
Jindagi se main naraj tha,
socha ki dil se tuje nikal du,
magar kambakht dil bhi tere pas tha…!!
Meri fitrat me nahi apna gam bayan karna,
agar tere wajud ka hissa hu to mahsus kar taklif meri…!!
कोई हमारी बराबरी क्या करेगा हम तो कूलर में भी पानी की जगह बीयर डालते है।
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“कैसे बनाऊँ तेरी यादों से दूरियां… दो कदम जाकर सौ कदम लौट आती हूँ…”
*************>> >>*********************
ना पूछ मूझसे मेरी नवाबी का आलम हमारा तो कफन भी साला #रेमंङ का होगा…
*************>> >>*********************
“ख्वाहिश ये कि तू मेरी हो, या फिर ये ख्वाहिश तेरी हो…”
*************>> >>*********************
मेरा यही अँदाज दुनिया को खलता हैँ कि, ये साला इतना टूटने के बाद भी सीधा कैसे चलता है…
*************>> >>*********************
“छोङो ना यार , क्या रखा है सुनने और सुनाने मेँ किसी ने कसर नहीँ छोङी दिल दुखाने मेँ ! ”
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शुक्र हे Whattsapp हिंदी में नहीं है वरना Last Seen “अंतिम दर्शन” कहलाता !!
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“जिंदगी में कुछ न मांगा तेरे सीवा ओर जींदगी ने सबकुछ दीया तेरे सीवा…”
*************>> >>*********************
“कितना भी चाहो ना भूला पाओगे हमसे जितना दूर जाओ नज़दीक पाओगे हमे मिटा सकते हो तो मिटा दो यादें मेरी, मगर, क्या सपनो से जुदा कर पाओ गे हमे| ”
*************>> >>*********************
छोड़ दो किसी से वफा की आस ऐ दोस्त जो रूला सकता हैं वो भुला भी सकता हैं !!
*************>> >>*********************
“कौन देता है उम्र भर का सहारा , लोग तो जनाजे में भी कंधे बदलते रहते हैं.”
*************>> >>*********************
प्यार करना हमारे बस कि बात नहिं थी… मगर अब हो गया तो उसे रोकना किसी के बाप के बस की बात नहीं…
*************>> >>*********************
“गर्मी तो ईतनी है की आजकल टँकी का पानी भी सैमसंग के मोबाईल से ज्यादा गर्म हो जाता है…”
*************>> >>*********************
मेरी कोशिश कभी कामयाब ना हो सकी, पहले तुझे पाने की फिर तुझे भुलाने की”
*************>> >>*********************
“छोड़ो बिखरने देते हैं जिंदगी को आखिर समेटने की भी एक हद होती है…!!”
*************>> >>*********************
Aaj ke Shaitan Bachche.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Principal : School ka time 8 baje ka tha aur tum 9 baje aa rahe ho?
Little Cute Student: Sir aap na mera Intezar mat kiya karo, School shuru kar diya karo. 😉
दे थप्पड़ पे थप्पड़
🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀
Boy : Mom, please give me a glass of water.
Mom : You come and drink it, I am busy.
Boy : Please mom.
Mom : If you repeat, I’ll slap you.
Boy : When you come to slap me, bring the water.
दे थप्पड़ पे थप्पड़
🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀
Nursery ke student ne Exam sheet pe SUSU kar Diya.
Teacher : Yeh kya kiya hai ?
Student : Mummy ne kaha tha ki Pehle jo aa raha ho wahi karna. 😝
दे थप्पड़ पे थप्पड़
🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀
Dukandar se Chota Baccha : Uncle Rang Gora karne wali Cream hai.
Dukandar : Haan hai.
Baccha: Toh lagata kyun nahi, main roz tujhe dekhkar darr jata hoon. 😜
दे थप्पड़ पे थप्पड़
🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀
Beta – Papa, aap jaise mujhe marte ho, vaise Dadaji bhi apko marte the kya ?
Papa – Bilkul marte the.
Beta – Toh yeh khandani Gundagardi kab tak Chalengi…😝
दे थप्पड़ पे थप्पड़
🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀
A Cute Sentence Written By A Child On His Maths Book :
“Dear Maths ! Please Grow Up and Start solving your Problems yourself. I have my own Problems!” 😂
दे थप्पड़ पे थप्पड़
🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀
Father :- Agar iss bar tum exam mein fail hue to mujhe Papa mat kehna…😡😡
After Exam…..
Father : What is your result ?
Son 😡: Dimag kharab mat kar Dharampal, tu baap hone ka haq kho chuka hai.
दे थप्पड़ पे थप्पड़
Husband came home very sad.
Wife asked; What happened?
Husband, our office building collapsed killing all my colleagues.
Wife; but how did you survive?
Husband; I was out for a smoke.
Wife; thank God you survived.
Husband opens Television, Chief Minister was on the scene announcing 10 Cr each, to the deceased families.
Wife; I have become sick and tired of your smoking habit.
😮😮😮😁🤣😂
A woman went for fishing. She eventually got tired so she sat, packed her fishing gear & started reading a book.
A Policeman came & said: Mam u r in “NO” fishing Zone.
She replied: “I am reading not fishing.”
The policeman said: “But u have all equipment & u might start anytime.”
The woman shouted back: “Im not fishing here and now u r sexually harassing me.”
Shocked policeman replied: “I am not doing anything!”
She smiled: “You have all equipment & might start
anytime!”
Moral : Never Argue with a Woman
Because none of us have many years to live, and we can’t take along anything when we go, so we don’t have to be too thrifty.
Spend the money that should be spent, enjoy what should be enjoyed, donate what you are able to donate
DON’T WORRY about what will happen after we are gone, because when we return to dust, we will feel nothing about praises or criticisms. The time to enjoy the worldly life and your hard earned wealth will be over!
DON’T WORRY too much about your children, for children will have their own destiny and should find their own way. Care for them, love them, give them gifts but also enjoy your money or what is left of it, while you can. Life should have more to it than working from the cradle to the grave!!
40-year olds, don’t trade in – your health for wealth, by working yourself to an early grave anymore. Because your money may not be able to buy your health.
When to stop making money, and how much is enough
Out of thousand hectares of good farm land, you can consume only three quarts (of rice) daily; out of a thousand mansions, you only need eight square meters of space to rest at night.
So, as long as you have enough food and enough money to spend, that is good enough. You should live happily. Every family has its own problems.
Just DO NOT COMPARE with others for fame and social status and see whose children are doing better etc., but challenge others for happiness, health, enjoyment, quality of life and longevity.
DON’T WORRY about things that you can’t change because it doesn’t help and it may spoil your health.
You have to create your own well-being and find your own place of happiness. As long as you are in good mood and good health, think about happy things, do happy things daily and have fun in doing, then you will pass your time happily every day.
One day passes WITHOUT happiness, you will lose one day.
One day passes WITH happiness and then you gain one day.
In good spirit, sickness will cure;
In a happy spirit, sickness will cure faster;
in high and happy spirits, sickness will never come.
With good mood, exercise, sun, variety of foods, good amount of vitamin and mineral intake, hopefully you will live another 30 or 40 years of healthy life
ABOVE ALL –
Learn to cherish the goodness around… like your Spouse, Children and FRIENDS……….. They all make you feel young and “wanted”… without them you are surely to feel lost !!
Wishing you all the best for the years to come. Sadguru 💐🙏🔔
Please share this with all your friends who are 40 plus and those who will be 40 plus after some time.
UK Judge to Mallya: you looted the Indian Republic.
Mallya replied: the British empire looted India before me.
Judge smiled: you are one of us, bail granted! 😄😄😄
A rich man needs_______.
A poor man has_______.
If u eat_______u die & when
u die u can take_______ with u !
One word fits all 4 blank spaces! Its a seven letter word. What’s the answer ? Send this to all your contacts and see how clever they are.
Answer please
Girl : (to god) I don’t want to marry. I am educated, independent and self sufficient. I don’t need a husband. But my parents are asking me to marry. What to do?
God replied : You are my finest creation and undoubtedly will achieve many great things. But some things, inevitably, will not go the way you want. Worst, some things will fail. Whom will you blame? Yourself? No! You need a husband!
😂😂😂
😃😭😁😢😃😁😁😁😃😜
पापा, मुझे स्कूल छोड़ने आप क्यों आते हो?
बाकी सब बच्चों को छोड़ने तो उनकी मम्मी आती हैं!!!
पापा: बस बेटा,
इसीलिए…
😁😃😜😭😃😁😁😃😃😃
Apple launched the revolutionary faceID security feature…
Meanwhile 3 months later in Kanpur:
“Beta aisa muh todenge ki zindagi bhar tumra Iphonwa lock hi rahega”
😜
👦पति– जब हमारी नई-नई शादी हुई थी,
तब तुम कितना तहजीब से बोलती थी
और अब….???
👩पत्नि — पहले मै रामायण देखती थी,
और
अबक्राईम पेट्रोल देखती हू ।😂😂😂😉😉
Hyderabadi Joke 😝अब्दुल हैदराबादी..
अम्मी मैं KBC से बोल रिया हूँ।
अब्बा का नाम क्या रे?
आप्शन है….
सलमान, सुलेमान, सलीम, रहमान
अम्मी– सवाल कित्ते का रे?
अब्दुल– 5000
अम्मी– quit करके घर कु आजा।
5000 के वास्ते मुहल्ले में झगड़ा
नक्को।
😁😝😝😜😜😜