जोक्स इन हिंदी Hindi Jokes: Jokes in Hindi, Funny Jokes in hindi

Get हिंदी जोक्स, Best Hindi Jokes – Browse  best collection of Funny Jokes in Hindi जोक्स इन हिंदी,  Whatsapp Jokes in Hindi

 Teen baar Talaak – Hindi JokeHindi Jokes

हमको तीन तलाक़ वाली फ़ेसिलिटी नहीं चाहिए ..

बस इतना करवा दो की
तीन बार “मायके जा…… मायके जा …… मायके जा ……”
बोलने पर बीबी को 10 दिन के लिए मायके जाना compulsory हो जाये।


 

पत्नी का सम्मोहन Wife Hypnotize Joke SMS in Hindi

 

खाना खाते खाते अचानक पतिदेव बोले,

पति – ये सम्मोहन करना किसे कहते हैं

पत्नी – अरे किसी को अपने वश में करने को ही
सम्मोहन कहते हैं,

पति – चल झूठी,

उसे तो शादी कहते हैं :) :)


 

Wife -आप मुझे रानी क्यों बोलते हो,

Husband- क्योंकि नौकरानी लम्बा शब्द हो जाता है, 😜

Wife गुस्से से 😡 : तुम्हे पता है कि में तुम्हे “जान” क्यों बोलती हूँ,

Husband: नहीं.. बताओ तो जरा

Wife: “जानवर” लम्बा शब्द हो जाता है इसलिए सिर्फ “जान” बोल देती हूँ. 😝😜😝😜


 

Whatsapp Jokes in Hindi

पति ने पत्नी को मेसेज भेजा-
‘मेरी जिंदगी इतनी प्यारी, इतनी खूबसूरत बनाने के लिए
तुम्हारा शुक्रिया।
मैं आज जो भी हूं, सिर्फ तुम्हारी वजह से हूं। तुम मेरे जीवन
में एक फरिश्ता बनकर आई हो और तुमने ही मुझे जीने का
मकसद दिया है। लव यू …’
.
पत्नी ने रिप्लाई किया-
.
‘मार लिया चौथा पैग??? आ जाओ घर कुछ नही कहूँगी। :
.
“पति – बाहर खड़ा हूँ , गेट खोल दे “😝😝😝😂😂😂


 

Biwi ko padhaunga
Santa : pehle me apni biwi ko BA karwaunga fir MA fir Phd karwaunga fir badiya si naukri dilwaunga.

Banta : fir acha sa rishta dekh k uski shaadi bhi krwa diyo.

Cigarette
santa apne father k samne cigrate pi raha tha
Logon ne kaha ke aap apne father ke samne cigratte pi rahay ho?

Santa bola : Wo mera father hai, koi petrol pump thodi.

Imagine
Interviewer : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire?

Santa : Simple, Stop imagining.

Santa fell out
Q: Why did Santa fall out the window ?

A: He was ironing the curtain

Brake fail
Santa Ki Biwi : O ji Car ki speed itani kyo badha di..?

Santa : Are Banoo Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, To accident ho jaye iske pehele ghar pahunch jaate hai.

Banta fell in love
Banta fell in love with a porno star and married her. He got an opportunity to watch one of her movie…. the Movie came to an End.

A bit disturbed and annoyed with what he saw, Banta told himself, “Thank God it was just a movie and not reality.”

Fighting
santa banta were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
santa : This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?

santa: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.

The Plane Ride
Santa traveling 1st time in plane going to BOMBAY,
while landing, he shouted : “BOMBAY-BOMBAY”,
air hostess : ” B-silent please “,

santa said : ” OMBAY – OMBAY…..!!!!!!!! “

Santa’s Underwear
Santa goes to buy a underwear. On choosing one he asks: How much for this?
Shopkeeper: Rs 500

Santa: Arey bhai daily waer dikhaao, Party wear nahin chahiye.

Nishana
Banta : Praji, Jab Main Paida Hua Tha To Military Walon Ne 21 Topein Chalayeen Thi.

Santa : Kamaal Hai ! Sab Ka Nishana Kayse Chook Gaya ..?

Matlab
Santa meets his friend Bunta
Santa : A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B…!
Bunta : Oye, Iska Matlab ?

Santa : Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..!

Speed Breaker
Santa : Drinking-n-Driving Dono Nalo Naal Nai Ho Sakde.
Banta : Kyoo Ji ?

Santa : Je SpeedBbreaker Aa Gaya Taa Peg Dul Jau.

Phone Ki Ganti
Santa : Phone Mere Liye Ho To Kehna Mein Ghar Pe Nahin Hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo Ghar Pe Hain.
Santa : Maine Mana Kiya Tha Ke…

Jasmeet : Phone Mere Liye Tha!

Awaaz
Santa : Aapne Nurse Bahut Changi Rakhi Hai, Uska Haath Lagtey Hi Mein Theek Ho Gaya.

Doctor: Jaanta Hoon, Thappad Ki Awaaz Mujhe Bhi Sunai Di Thi.

Lucky
Santa : Oh Yaar Main Badi Mushkil Mein Hoon…Meri Biwi Mujhse Ek Pappi Ka Ek Rupeya Leti Hai..!

Banta : Oh Yaar Tu Bada Lucky Hai, Auron Se To Woh 5 Rupye Leti Hai.

Dost Hi Dost Ke Kam aata hai
Santa : Yaar! Main Apna Purse Ghar Bhool Aaya, Mainu 1000 Rs Chahide Si.

Banta : Dost Hi Dost De Kam Aunda Hai, Le 10 Rs, Riksha Kar Te Purse Le Aa.

I Love You
Banta : Wo Ladki Deaf Lagti Hai. Main Kuch Kehta Hoon, Woh Kuch Aur Hi Bolti Hai.
Santa : Kaise?

Banta : Maine Kaha I Love U, To Woh Boli ‘Maine Kal Hi Naye Sandal kharide hain’

Kauwa Toh
A crow shits on Banta. Preeto gives tissue paper to him.

Banta: Koi Fhayda Nahin, Kauwa Toh Udd Gaya ..!

fight
Santa : When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
Jasmeet : I clean the toilet bowl.
Santa : How does that help?

Jasmeet : I use your toothbrush!

Drink quickly
Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sardar says… Drink quickly….. .
Wife asks why…
sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10.

जोक्स इन हिंदी – Sher Ka Puttar
Ek Srdar apne Bete se bola oye ghabra

mat Tu sher ka puttar hai.
Beta: oye papaji, acha hua bata diya

techer bhi ye hi puchti he ki Tu kis janwar

ki aulad hai.?


Doctor Ki Likhai
Doctor Parche pe aisa kya likhta hai jo

kewal Medical Store waale hi samajh paate

hai..
Wo likhte hai:—
“Maine to Loot Liya tu bhi Loot le…!”

Batao na.!!
Wife: Ji apko mujhme kya acha lagta hai

meri samajhdari ya meri beauty..
Husband: Mujhe to ye tumhari Majak karne

ki aadat bahut achi lagti hai..

Kya hai?
ek bar American, Pakistani,
Or Chinese Chand Per Gaye.
tino ne Neche Dekha To Zameen Per ek

Lambi Line Nazar aee.
American : Ye NASA Ki Building Hai.
Chinese: Nhi Ye Cheen Ki Deewar Hai.
Pakistani: Na, Na, Na, Yeh To Na Building

Hai Or Na Deewar, YeTo Utility Store K

Bahr cheni leny Walon Ki Line Hai..!

Aur Bhi Hai..
Sardar :- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, “I

AM GOING”?
Friend :- Main jaa raha hun.
Sardar :- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur

bhi aise ja chuke hain….answer bata ke

jaa..

Nahi Aata
Ek Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha k tum ko

a,b,c Aaty hai to bachy ne keha k mujy 9

tak aty hia..
Sardar ne bachy se keha k oyee Ullu k

pathy a,b,c main  9 nahi aata.

Fir Bhi!!
Sardar Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko

Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar Nikala
Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho Gayi
Kyun…
Kyun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The.

Jor Se Bolo
Teacher to class: A for?
Class: Apple
Teacher: Jor Se Bolo
Class: Jai Mata Di!

Gita pe haath Kabhi Nahi
vakil Lalu se :  “Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho

ke…… ”
Lalu : “Yeh kya laga rakha hai, Sita ko

haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir

Gita pe hat rakhunga to sasura aap use bhi

bulwa lenge…!”.

3 Din
Maalik Makaan : Mein tumko kiraya dene

ke liye aur 3 din ki mohlat deta hun.
Santa : Theek hai ji, mein Diwali Holi aur

Chrismas ke 3 din select karta hoon.

Main Mera..
Bachha  (phone par): Madam, mera beta

aaj school nahi aaygea?
Madam: Aap kon bol rahe ho Ji?
Bachha : Main Mera papa bol rahe hoon.

Palan Poshan
Ek 10 saal ka Bachha bohot dhyan se ek

book pad raha tha, jiska title tha: “Bachhon

ka paalan poshan kaise kare”.
Mother : yeh book kyon pad rahe ho.
Bachha : Mein yeh dekhna chahta hun ke

mera paalan poshan theek tara se ho raha

hai ya nahi.

Use Bande Ki Jeb Mai Thi
Santa: Tuhari car ka tyre puncture kaise

hua?
Driver Banta: Ik daaru ki bottle iske neeche

aa gayi thi.
Santa: Tumhe bottle nazar nahi aayi?
Driver Banta: Bottle uss bande ki jeb me thi

jo meri car ke neeche aaya tha.

Love
Boyfriend apni girlfriend ko I love you kehta

hai aur geer jata hai.
Girlfriend :- Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Funny Boyfriend :- I’m falling in love.

Hole in the Umbrella
Ek sardar ki chatri me hole tha
kisine pucha,umbrella me hole kyu?
2nd sardar: agar koi bomb raste me phat

gia to?
Sardar bola,Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata

kaise chalega

Fasi Ki Khushi se
Police:Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phasi di

jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Sardar(Khusi se) : Main to uthta hi subha 9

baje hon!!!