Kamwali Bai Jokes, Kamwali Bai Hindi Jokes

Funny Kamwali Bai Jokes, Read Kamwali Bai Jokes, Kamwali Bai Hindi Jokes

Facebook wali Kamwali Bai !!! Kamwali Bai Jokes

Madam: poore Useless bai !!!  hai …Why didn’t you come last week ? And that too without informing me ???
Kamwali Bai: OO.. Myadam… I had updated my Facebook status as
“Will be out of town for week..”. Sayeb knows.
He even commented ” Come soon.. Miss u ..!!!!!!!

 

Funny Memsaab – Kamwali Bai Joke

 

Funny Kamwali Bai or Malkin ki Sareeya Jokes SMS

Kamwali: Malkin, apki purani sareeya mujhe nhi chahiye..

Malkin: Kyu?

Kamwali: Apki saree pahen-ne k baad saheb “ap” samajh kr mere paas bhi nhi ate!

 

 

Kamwali Bai Joke : pagaar badha dijiye

Kamwali Bai:
“Mam Sahab meri pagaar badha dijiye…”
Lady: “kyu aisa kya karti ho tum?”
Kamwali: “3 cheez hain jo aap se behtar karti hu!
Pahli main aap se behtar press krti hu..”
Lady: “kaun bola?”
Kamwali: “Sahab bole!
Dusri main aapse badhiya khana banati hu!”
Lady: ” ye kaun bola?”
Kamwali: “ye bhi Sahab bole!
Aur teesri ye ki Main aapse jyada maze deti hu.”
Lady: (Gusse me) “ye bhi sahab ne bola kya?”
Kamwali: “Nahi, ye toh aapka driver bola.”
Lady: Bas Bas Pagaar kitni badhani hai..?”

 

Santa Aur Kaamwali Bai Hindi Joke

संता को heart-attack आते-आते बचा जब light चली गई और …

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कामवाली बाई ने कहा –  “What the hell is this ? you don’t have inverter ???”

Kamwali Bai Vs Rawan

Very Very Funny Jokes in Hindi “Kamwali bai vs Rawan”

भिक्षुक – “माई भिक्षाम् देही”

औरत – ले लो महाराज…

भिक्षुक – माई, जरा यह द्वार पार करके बहार तो आओ…

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वह द्वार पार करके बाहर आती है…

भिक्षुक (औरत को पकड़ते हुए) – हा… हा… हा…

मैं भिक्षुक नहीं, रावण हूँ रावण…

औरत – हा… हा… हा… 

तो मैं भी कोई सीता विता नई है, कामवाली बाई है…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

रावण – हा… हा.. हा..

सीता का अपहरण करके आज तक पछता रहा हूँ,

तुम्हें ले जाऊँगा तो मंदोदरी भी खुश हो जायेगी,

मुझे भी कामवाली बाई की ही जरूरत है…

~~~~~~~~~~~~

महिला – हा… हा… हा…

सीता को ढूंढते हुए सिर्फ राम आये थे…

मुझे ले जाओगे तो,

पुरा मोहल्ला ढूंढते हुए आयेगा…

 

Kamwali Bai

 

It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers 2 protect a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home!

Let’s Thank… KAAMWALI BAI

 

HOW TO IMPRESS KAAMWALI BAI ???? .

HOW TO IMPRESS KAAMWALI
BAI ????
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had hoti hain yaar, tum log iss mei
bhi”INTRESTED” ho tongue.png
Sudher jao re

Kaamwali Bai Joke: Kaam Karte Waqt Kiss Na Kiya Karo

Wife Apne Husband Se Boli:”
Dekho Ji , Kaam Karte Waqt Mere
Ko Kiss-Wiss Na Kiya Karo..
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Tabhi Kaamwali Bai Boli: ” Madam Ji,
Achchhi Tarah Se Samjha Do,
Main To Bol-Bol Ke Thak Gayi..
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Wife Shocked…. :

Kaamwali Bai

Santa: Tere Ghar Se Ek Ladki Mujhe Khidki Ke Pichhe Se Rumal Se Ishara Karti Hai. Banta: Abey Wo Naukrani Hai Jo Khdki Ke Shishe Saaf Krti Hai . ,
Jokes in hindi about kamwali bai
Yaar Lagta Hai Ye Reena Naam Mera Picha Nahi Chodega..
Pehle Reena Naam Ki Meri GF Thi
Or Ab Mummy Ne Reena Naam Ki Kamwali Rakhli

Funny Husband Wife Joke, husband wife jokes in Hindi,

Hilarious Husband Wife Joke, husband wife jokes in Hindi, best husband wife jokes, jokes on husband and wife, husband wife jokes hindi, Pati Patni Jokes

Funny husband Wife Hindi Joke
Patni:-sharab peen eke baad kya tumhe mera naam bhi yaad nahin rehta?
Pati:-pee lene ke baad to main har gam bhool jata hoon,meri jaan.

Nai nai car chalana sikhi biwi:aaj hum car se jaenge aur car main chalaungi.
Pati:-kon nahin,jaenge car main aur aaenge akhbaar main.

Pati patni College Joke
Patni – Collage ke bare me tumhara koi bura anubhav hai?
Pati – Han, Tumhari aur meri paheli mulakat college me he to hui thi.

Pati patni Sms Joke
Patni:- main tumse jo kuch bhi kahti hu tum ek kaan se sunkar doosre se nikaal dete ho.
Pati:-aur main tumse kuch bhi kahta hu to tum dono kaan se sunkar muh se nikaal deti ho.

Funny Pati patni Joke
Pati:-main jeevan main aaj jo kuch bhi bana hoon,apne aap bana hoon.
Patni:-lo, main aaj tak bekar hi bhagwaan ko kosti rahi.

Pati patni Sms
Patni:-kyon jab main moti hojaaungi,tab bhi tum mujhe aise hi pyaar karoge?
Pati:-bilkul nahin, maine sirf such dukh main saath dene ka vaada kiya tha.

Pati Patni Joke
patni : suno ji, bus me aapko logo neitna kyon mara?
pati : Are mera ek photo bus main ek aurt ke pair ke niche gir gaya tha aur mene kaha
madam zara saree uper kijiye photo lena hai….

Hindi Joke about Husband Wife
Pati:-aaj main sabha pati banunga.
Patni:-khabardaar jo aap mere alawa kisi aur ke pati bane.

Pati patni Hindi Joke
pati: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan kahin chhupa kar rakh do, padosi aa rahe hain.
patni: Kyonji ! kya Aapke dost chura lenge?
pati: are Nahin, who apna saaman pehchaan lenge.

Hindi Husband Wife Joke
patni: Aap bahut mote ho gaye ho.
pati: Tum bhi to kitni moti ho gayi ho.
patni: Main to maa banne wali hoon!
pati: Main bhi to baap banne wala hoon

Cute wife joke
patni: “Aapne pichle saal salgireh pe mujhe lohay ka bed diya tha, Iss baar aapka kya iraada hai?”
pati: “Iss saal uss mein current chorne ka iraada hai.”

Funny husband Wife Sms
Patni: -suno ji,aapko mujhme kya achcha lagta hai. meri samajhdari ya meri beauty.
pati: -mujhe to tumhari ye mazak karne ki aadat bahot pasand hai.

Funny Cute wife sms Joke
Pati :- main tumhare saath kuch bhi share kar sakta hu.
Patni:-chalo phir bank account se start karte hain.

Funny Wife Sms
Pati:-mere mrne ke baad tumhe mere jaisa doosra aadmi nahin milega.
Patni:- tumhe kisne keh diya, ki main doosra aadmi tumhare jaisa chahti hoon.

Husbands joke on marriage
Patni:- main tumhare bina mar jaaungi.
Pati:-main bhi mar jaaunga. Itni khushi main bardasht nahin kar paaunga.

Funny relationship Hindi Joke
Patni:- main tumhare bina mar jaaungi.
Pati:-main bhi mar jaaunga. Itni khushi main bardasht nahin kar paaunga.

Husband wife joke
Pati:-mani abhi saree ka fanda banakar faansi laga loonga.
Patni:-kya gajab karte ho,nai saree hai.

Funny teasing joke
Pati:-jab bhi main is talwaar ko dekhta hoon to mujhe ladai per jaane ka mann karta hai.
Patni:-to phir jaate kyon nahin?
Pati:-phir unki tooti hui taang yaad aa jaati hai.

Husband wife joke in Hindi
Husband wife ki godi me leta hua tha,
Wife – kesa lag raha he ji?
Husband- jese visnu bhagwan shesnaag ki god me lete ho.

Pati Patni Hindi Joke
Ek makeup sacheton lady ne mritu kaal par uski pati se daka.
Pati:bolo tumhara antim issa keya hai?
Patni:mere marne ke bad meri sundar tasbir akhbar pe chapne par mere age math  likhna.
Pati:kiun?
Patni:kiun ki log ye jan jayega ke meine budhi ho gaya tha.

Marriage Joke Hindi
Husband:  Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein pagal ho jaaunga.

Wife: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey na ?

Husband:  Pagal ka kya hai, o kuch bhi kar sakta hai

Cat and Wife Joke
Santa banta  Se Puchha Ki-Tum agli  Janam Me Kya Ban’na chaho gi?

banta-” A Billi”
Why?

Because  Meri Wife Sirf billi Se Hi Darti Hai

Marriage Joke in Hindi
kya larki thi…
Shohar: Kal mere khuab main ek larki aai thi,
Wah! kya larki thi.

Bibi: Akeli he aai hogi?

Shohar: Tumko kese pata:

Bibi: Uska husband mere khuab main
tha.

Marriage Joke
Pyar b ajab shay he

Maa se payar hota hai to Ebadat
Baap se payar hota hai  to Muqadas
Bhai se payar hota hai  to Aqidat
Didi  se payar hota hai ho to Farz
&
Wife  se payar  hota hai  to
sab kehte hen k SALA BIWI ka GHULAM H     hain

Husband and Wife
Wife:  Ma bachunga nahi  Marr jaongi…

Husband   : Mein bhi Marr jaon ga!

Wife :  Mein to Bimaar hoon isleya marr jaungi  tum kyon maro gaey ?

Husband :  Mein itni Khushi Bardasht nahi kar sakta !

Marriage
Beta papa ko pucha: papa sadi kana ma kitna  kharch hota hai
Papa na bola : mujee pata nahi hay beta !
May abibhi  uska lia pay karta hoo .

Hindi Marriage Joke
Shaadi karne ki baad aur shaadi karne ki aage

1. tumhare baat kokil ki tarah hai.
dhat,kan ki kach me ghanor ghanor nahi karna

2. biswas karo, meine tumko bina nahi reh parunga.
har baat me tum tumhari bap ki baari jane ke baat nahi karna, jao na tumko koun rokha hai?

3. tumko liee maine hajar saal bachna parunga.
uff, tumhare sansar mein mere jiban ekbare biss ho gaya.

Aapko dhund raha hai

4. future ki baat soch kar ek  moment par aap crore paysa kharcha kar sakti hai.
Aapko dhund raha hai Political dall ne(Aapko election par khare karne ke liee).

5. onle ek abul biri ke liee aap ek aadmi ki hatma kar sakti hai.
Aapko dhund raha hai RAB(dunia ki narak dekhne ke liee).

6. aapki do haat mein kharach karna paroge?
Aapko dhund raha hai ladkione.

7. keyaa aap ek palak par jo vi opokarm karna parte hai?
Aapko dhund raha hai Police force.

Hindi Husband and Wife Marriage Joke
Bibi:kyeaa hua tumko aj bohot khus najar a raha hai?
Pappu:nahi kuch nahi. Tum bahar ja rahe ho iss lyee
Bibi: uss lyee tumhare khus hone se kyeaa irada hai.
Pappu: meri ek dawat hai meine vi uha jaunga. Tum agar bahar jaoge tab maine bahar jane parunga na!!!

Funny Wife Joke
Bibi:jiban par maine koi punno kia tha us liee tumhare tarah pati mila.
Swami:aur mere liee wo paap ki sasti hai

Hilarious Husband and Wife
Pati:kaha ja rahe ho?

Patni: Jahannam par.

Pati: Thank you,jao.

Funny Pati and Patni
Pati:mehman ko khana dia magar chamach kiu nahi dia?

Patni:voi paa karke.

Pati:kasko voi pa kar.

Patni:usko chamach hai ye jodi samajh jayee iss lyee.

Funny Hindi Pati Patni Joke
Patni:tumhare paas koi arman pesh kar gaya to tum bola paysa nahi hai.

Pati:keyaa nahi di tumko? To jo tumko dena parega uski paas jao na.

Pati Patni Joke
Patni:meine Babaki ghar mein kitni sukhi tha,tumare ghar a kar meri jiban ses ho gaya.

Pati: keyaa hua?

Patni:keyaa nahi hua? Tumhre pas meine ek diamond ki neckless chaha magar tumhare iss month par pocket khali…

Funny Husband and Wife Marriage Joke
Ek din ek busstand me vul kar yatri log gaitlok samajh kar
Local gari me uth gaya, gari to rukh rukh kar jata hay
Yatri:keya hua bhai gari to rukh rukh kar jata hay kiu?
Helper: yeh to local hai..
Yatri: local aur gatelock yeh to tum log dega us lie yatri log samassa mein parega kiun?

Funny Joke in Hindi
Swami: basar rat mein uski wife ko 100 rs. De kar sorry bola, mujhe bhul ho gaye, sab samay deta hu to habit ho gaya.
Patni: tum to mujhko rupee de rahe ho, mein to mere cousin ko free dia.

Hindi Husband and Wife Joke
Husband ek rat kagaj mein likh kar rakha 7 am par mujhe jara dak dena
Wife woh dekh kar likha: already 7am. Baj gaya.

HIndi Judge Mujrim Joke

 

Mujrim Ko Fansi Ki Saza Sunane Ke Baad Judge Ne Us Se Puchha

Judge: “Koi Akhiri Khawish ??
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Mujrim: “Aap Ki Beti Se Shaadi, Blackbery Bold,
Apple I- Phone, 100 Crore Rupaye, U.S.A Ka Visa, 2 Saal Ka Honeymoon Trip, 6-7 Bacche Jo Aapko Nana-Nana

Aur Mujhe Papa-Papa Kahe,

Aur Main Unki Shaadi Karwa Doon, Uske Baad Aap Jo Bhi Faisla Doge Mujhe Manjoor Hoga’
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Judge Zor Se Haste Hue Bola:“ abe saale Meri Koi Beti Hi Nahi Hai,

Taang Do haramkhorr Ko Abhi Ke Abhi”

Bollywood Jokes: Bollywood jokes in hindi

Bollywood Jokes: Bollywood jokes in Hindi

Here you will find Bollywood jokes those will make you laugh.

Bhakt : Meri shadi Aishwarya se kara do.
Bhagwan : Uski ek saree 1 lac ki hai, tu kharcha kar payega.
Bhakt : Koi upay bhagvan
Bhagvan : Mallika Sherawat.


 

 

Basanti : Bhag Dhanno bhag, aaj teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawal hai.
Dhanno : Tujhe apni padi hai meri soch jiske peeche GABBAR ke 10 ghode pade hai.


 

 

Socho agar doctor film banate to title kya hota?

1. Kabhi khansi kabhi jukam

2. kaho naa bukhar hai

3. TB no 1

4. Kal patient ho na ho

5. Hum blood de chuke sanam


Munna Bhai nay pehlay din office khola to bara khush tha. Us ki secertary nay bataya ke bahar aik aadmi aaya hai.

Munna bara khush hua aur usay andar aanay ke liye kaha. Us ke andar aanay say pehlay Munna nay socha ke us par impression dalna chahiye aur phone utha ke batien karnay laga.

“Haan Haan! 500 rupay fees hai, apun 10 baje tak betha hai idher, is say late nahi karnay ka, apun bahut busy hai”.

Us ke baad us nay phone rakha aur aanay walay say poocha “Beth na Maamoon, apun teray liye kya kar sakta hai?”

Man: Mien yahaan phone sahi karnay aaya hoon.


 

 

Girl- Today i was cooking chicken, when i added HARA DHANIYA, guess whathappened.

Boy- Pata nahi, tum batao
Girl- Chicken start dancing and singing “HUM PE YE KISNE HARA RANG DAALA…MAAR DAALA-ALLAAHH…


 

 

“What is Ford?
Munna Bhai- Gaadi BAP aur kya?

What is Oxford?
Munna Bhai- BOLE TO Bail Gaadi BAP, itna bhi nahi janta!”


 

 

“Circuit- Tu pareshan kyun hai? Munna Bhai- Sale mai bap banne wala hai!
Circuit starts dancing.
Munna Bhai- Nachna band kar sale, teri Bhabi ka bacha nahi hai.”


 

Gabbar Jokes

Gabbar: Kitne admi they?
Sambha: Sardar 2
Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahin aati, 2 kitne hote hain?
Samba: Sardar 2, 1 ke baad aata hai
Gabbar: Aur 2 ke pehle?
Samba: 2 k pehle 1 aata hai.
Gabbar: To beech mein kaun ata hai?
Samba: Beech mein koi nahi aata
Gabbar:: To phir dono ek saath kyun nahin aate?
Samba: 1 k baad hi 2 aa sakta hai, kyun ki 2, 1 se bada hai.
Gabar: 2, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samba: 2, 1 se 1 bada hai.
Gabbar: Agar 2, 1 se 1 bada hai to 1, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samba: Sardar maine aapka namak khaya hai, mujhe goli maar do


 

 

Mallika arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting.

Bhikhari: Behanji 1 rupiya dedo. Malika gave him 1000 Rs.

Secretary: Why did you give him 1000 Rs?

Malika: Pehli bar kisine behen kaha!


 

 

(Scene – Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy.)
AJIT : “Robert, Ise varnish mein daal do,
saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish bhi ho jaayega.


 

Rajnikant Jokes

Rajnikanth in IPL
Climax:
1ball, 23runs needed to win.
Bowler bowls,
Rajni hits.
Ball splits into 4 pieces.
All pieces go for 6’s.
Chennai wins!
Yenna Rascala.! 😀


 

Rajnikanth Jokes

If you spell Rajnikanth in scrabble, you win. FOREVER.

Rajnikanth doesn’t get frostbite. He bites frost.

Outer space exists only because it’s afraid to be on the same planet as Rajnikanth

Rajnikanth played russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

They once made Rajnikanth toilet paper but it didnt work. Rajnikanth doesn’t take shit from ANYBODY.


 

 

 

Office Hindi Joke बेवकूफ कौन है?

Office joke, office joke in hindi

बेवकूफ कौन है? इस बात को लेकर बॉस और कर्मचारी में छिड़ी बहस…

बॉस– कर्मचारी से, बताओ हम दोनों में से बेवकूफ कौन है?
कर्मचारी- पहले थोड़ा सोचा, फिर  बोला– बॉस मैं यह अच्छी तरह से जानता हूं कि आप किसी बेवकूफ को जॉब नहीं देते हो।

Ek Bhikhari Ki Lottery Lag gahe: Hndi joke

Ek Bhikhari Ki Lottery Lag gahe: Hindi joke

एक बार एक भिखारी की लॉटरी खुल जाती है। वह उन लॉटरी के पैसों से एक होटल बनवाता है। दूसरा गरीब उससे पूछता है कि तुमने यह होटल क्यों बनवाया है। वह जवाब देता है कि “मैंने यह होटल इसलिए बनवाया है कि अब मैं इस होटल के बाहर अकेला भीख मांगूंगा”।
अपनी ही कमाई होगी।

THE BIGGEST LIE Teacher Student jokes

THE BIGGEST LIE Teacher Student jokes

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.

The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”

One boy answers, “We found a 100 rupees and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”

The boys gave the 100 rupees to the teacher.

Funny Excuses For Being Late office Jokes- Being Late Jokes

Being Late Jokes – Short Funny fooce Jokes, Late for Meeting jokes, Being Late Jokes, office jokes, Funny Excuses jokes

1. I most likely will not be coming in today, I’ve spent my last dime playing online bingo and I don’t have any money left for the bus ride. I’ll try to win it back today while I’m off!
2. You should have told me to be here on time.
3. I won’t be in to work today on time. My brain is full.
4. I super-glued my eye thinking it was contact solution.
5. When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-Lax tablets in addition to my Prozac. I can’t get off the commode, but I feel really good about it.
6. That’s all right, it’s not my fault; all I need is some more training.
7. I got locked in my trunk by my son.
8. They’re always ringing the bell before I get there.
9. I saw a sign that read School Ahead. Go Slow., so I did.
10. My watch was set to Tokyo time.
11. I had to feed my pet piranha.
12. My alarm clock kept going off while I was asleep.
13. Sorry–usually my punctuation skills are excellent.
14. I was dreaming about a b-ball game, and it went into overtime.
15. I’M on time–everyone else is early.
16. I told you if i wasn’t here, you should go ahead and start without me.
17. What? I thought this place was open until three thirty!
18. I won’t be coming in to work today. My wife informed me that she is going to conceive today, and I really want to be there when it happens.
19. I was abducted by aliens. After being transported to the mother ship, the aliens decided not to suck out my brains. They sent me back home.
20. I put some miracle grow on my chia pet last night and this morning….well, have you ever seen The Day of the Triffids?
21. I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.
22. My car ran out of gas on the way to work. I had to push it to a gas station. I think I got a stomach hernia and I have to go to see a doctor.
23. My heat was shut off so I had to stay home to keep my snake warm.
24. Do you know how long it takes to give a dollar to every Santa you see?
25. I can’t come to work today because my cat is very lonely and stressed out. If I don’t spend some quality time with him, he will keep peeing on the furniture!
26. I’m late because my dad was punishing my younger brother. He was beating him with my shoes.
27. I won’t be able to be at work next week . Me and the Mrs. are trying for a baby and the doc says next week is our best chance.
28. My dog died and I had to take him to the vet to get cremated.
29. The line was too long at Starbucks.
30. I was up all night arguing with God.
31. I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn’t come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
32. I had to feed my pet piranha.
33. I wasn’t thinking and accidentally went to my old job.
34. I was taking a telephone survey and lost track of the time.
35. I saw a fire truck as I was coming to work and went home to make sure my house wasn’t on fire.
36. I tried to catch the newspaper from the paperboy and the car keys flew out of my hand and over into the bushes, so, I had to search for 20 minutes just to find them.
37. I was losing my mind this morning. It took me a half hour to find it.
38. It’s all Obama’s fault. He’s responsible for everything that is going wrong in the world. At least that’s what my dad tells me. You wouldn’t want to disagree with my dad. He’s six feet tall and weighs two hundred forty pounds. He’d pound you for sure.
39. My husband thinks it’s funny to hide my car keys before he goes to work.
40. I’ve used up all of my sick days so I’m calling in dead.

Jokes in hindi, Latest Hindi Jokes, Funny Jokes

Latest hindi jokes, free joke sms, latest jokes in hindi 2016, new hindi sms jokes. Read hindi jokes daily. It has jokes related to love, husband wife, politicians

 

आर्यभट्ट ने अपनी धर्मपत्नी से पूछा,

” मुझे अपनी मित्र मंडली से मिलने और उनके साथ पार्टी करने की परमीशन तुम मुझे दोगी इस बात की कितनी संभावना है ?? ”

पत्नी ने तिरछी नजरों से उन्हें देखा और बोली,

” प्राणनाथ, आपको कितनी संभावना लगती है ?? ”
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👉और इस प्रकार ” शून्य ” की खोज हुई!!
😃😃😃😝😝😜😜😜😛😂😂

 

Rishi Muni – Joke

चीन काल में जो लोग
अपनी नींद, भोजन, हंसी, परिवार, अन्य
संसारिक सुखों को त्याग देते थे,
उन्हें ऋषीमुनी कहा जाता था…
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कलयुग में उन्हें online कहा जाता है…!!!!
😛 😛

 

 

B.ed करने वाले की लव स्टोरी💏

👦🏼मैं तीन साल का था ओर वो👶🏻 पैदा हुई।
मैंने स्कूल में एडमिशन लिया,📝 ओर वो दो साल की थी।👧🏻
मैं 2nd में ओर वो KG में।
मैं 7th में ओर वो 4th में।
मैं 10th में ओर वो 7th में।
मैं 12th में ओर वो 9th में।
मैं B.ed में ओर वो 10th में।
मैं B..ed में ओर वो 12th में।
मैं T.E.T में ओर वो  बी.ए. में।
मैं T.E.T में ओर वो एम.ए. में।
मैं T.E.T में ओर वो एम.फिल. में।
मैं T.E.T में ओर वो पि.एच.डी. में।
मैं T.E.T में ओर वो डॉक्टरेट बन गई।
कल उसकी शादी है, ओर मेरा T.E.T का पेपर।😄😄😄😜😝😛

 

Listen to Husband some time – Funny Joke

पति पत्नी खाना खा रहे थे।
पति बोला अरे सुनो सुनो।
पत्नी- चुप, खाना खाते समय बोलते नहीं हैं।
खाने के बाद पत्नी बोली, हां बोलो क्या कह रहे थे?
अरे मैं कह रहा था कि तुम नीबू आचार के फांक की  जगह काकरोच खा रही हो।

शिक्षा- कभी पतियों की भी सुन लेनी चाहिए।
😂😀😝😛😃😜😳😳😁😁

 

Murgi Ke Shadi – Joke in Hindi

1 मुर्गी ने बत्तख् से शादी कर ली

Murga: हम मर गये थे क्या?

Murgi: मै तो तुमसे ही शादी करना चाहती थी पर Mom-Dad चाहते थे लड़का नेवी में हो.

 

 

 

Latest Children And Kids Jokes

Children And Kids Funny Jokes

Funny and humorous jokes for Kids and Children. Read best of animal jokes, holiday jokes, Internet jokes, scary jokes , Kids jokes for children of all ages

policeman caught a nasty little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other.

“Now listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever yo do to that poor, defenceless creature I shall personally do to you”
“In that case,” said the boy, “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”


During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him.

Teacher:Pappu, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body.


Pappu: (thinking for a while) I saw a dead body cycling to school.


Customer: Mujhe phone per dhamkiya mill rahi hai.
Police: Kaun hai woh jo aapko dhamkiya de raha hai?

Customer:
 Telephone wale bolte hai ke, “Bill nahi bharoge toh kaat denge.” 

Beta papa se: Papa main itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochey ghar se bahar ja sakoo.
Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon.

TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you’re wearing, one is green and the other is blue with red spots !!
PAPPU: Yes, it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair just like that at home.

Maths teacher asks a boy what are 2,4,10,17.

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The boy replies they are HBO, ZOOM, SONY and POGO.

Two boys were playing marble and suddenly rushed to the hospital.

Smaller boy told to the doctor, “I have swallowed a marble.”


Doctor: “I see, Is this your brother with you?” asked to the older boy.

The other boy replied “No, I own the marble.”


Ek chota baccha bahut der se ghar ke bahar khada darwaje ki ghanti bajane ki kosish kar raha tha.Toh ek budha aadmi aaya aur kaha:

Budha aadmi: Kya kar rahe ho beta?

Baccha: Uncle, yeh ghanti bajana chahta hoon.
Budha aadmi (ghanti bajake): Yeh lo bajgaya, ab kya hai?

Baccha: Ab bhago!


Pappu ek party mein gaya aur waha usne 8 butter naan kha liye.
Kuch der baad toilet mein pet pakad ke ro raha tha bhagwan se request kar raha tha ki, “Hey bhagwan ya toh jaan nikal de ya naan nikal de!”

Teacher: Tumhare papa 500 rupees loan lete hain. 10% interest ke hisab se voh 1 saal bad loan vapis karte hain. Batao kitne paise vapis karenge?
Child: Kutch bhi nahi.
Teacher: Tum maths nahi jante.
Child: Me to maths janta hu, par aap mere papa ko nahi jante.

First lady: Mera kid bohot fast english bolta hai.

Second lady: Beta bolke dikha.

Funny Kid: english english english english english…


Kid (phone par): Madam, mera beta aaj school nahi aaygea?

Madam: Aap kon bol rahe ho?

Funny Kid: Mere papa bol rahe hain.

 

Jokes for Kids – Funny Kid Jokes -Hindi Jokes for Kids Jokes

Funny hindi Jokes for Kids, Best Jokes for Kids, Funny Kid Jokes in Hindi

Make your kids laugh with these silly kids jokes, goofy puns, and other funny jokes for kids.s
NEVER ACT SMART WITH Today’s Kids – Funny kids joke
In a Nursery School Canteen…

There’s a basket of apples with a notice written over it :-

“Do not take more than one, God is watching”

On the other counter there’s a box of chocolates,
A small child went & wrote on it.
“Take as many as U want, God is busy watching the apples”…

NEVER ACT SMART WITH Today’s Generation..!.!

 

Don’t be over smart with kids – Kids funny joke

KID :- Why some of ur hair are white dad…?DAD : – Every time you make me unhappy , one of my hair turns white…

KID :- Now understand why grandpa’s hairs are all white…

Moral :- Don’t be over smart…

 

Don’t be over smart with kids – Kids funny joke

Child : Mummy why Gandhi has no hair on his head…?Mummy : Because he speak only truth…

Child : Now I understand why ladies have long hair…

 

Bollywood songs for kids…

 

School: Ye Duniya Ye Mehfil Mere Kaam Ki nahi…
Tution: Idher Chala Main Udher Chala Janey Kahan Main Kidher Chala.. .
Maths: Ajeeb Daastaan Hai Ye Kahan Shuru Kahan Khatam..
Science: Aa Khushi Se Khud Khushi Karle…
Exam: Choti Choti Raatein Lambi Ho Jaati Hain.. .
Result : jab dil hi toot gaya ham jeeke kya kare…
Pass: Aaj Lagta Hai main Hawa Mein hoon Aaj Itni Khushi Mili hai…
Fail: Chann se Jo Tootey Koi sapna jag soona soona laagay…

 

Whom u like more mumma or papa? – Funny kids Joke
Papa- Whom u like more mumma or papa?Kid- Both

Papa- No tell me one?

Kid- Both

Papa- If i go to America & Ur mother goes to Paris
Where will u go?

Kid- Paris

Papa- It means you like ur mother more?

Kid- No, coz paris is beautiful than America

Papa- If i go to paris & Ur mother goes to america so Why will u go?

Kid- America

Papa- why?

Kid- Paris to ghum aaye na papa

Papa- Jaa be Maa ke Chamche, jaa school jaa!

 

Mummy jaldi Nal kholo, Papa aate honge!! – Kids Funny Joke

Bachcha: (Nal se aate paani ko dekhkar) Papa yeh paani kaha se aata hai?Papa: Beta nadi se..

Beta: Phir mujhe Nadi dekhni hai..

Papa use nadi dikhane le jaate hain, Bachcha unhe nadi mein dhakka markar gira deta hai…
Bhagta hua ghar aakar Maa ko kehta hai…

 

Mummy jaldi Nal kholo, Papa aate honge!!

 

Don’t act over smart with kids – Funny kids Joke
A man was seated next to a kid in an airplane.
The man turned to him and said, “Let’s talk”.Kid: Ok, what do we talk about ?

Man (making fun of d kid): How about nuclear power?

Kid:
Very interesting topic. But let me ask you a question…
Horse, cow & deer, all eat grass. Yet deer excretes pellets, cow flat potty & horse clumps.
Why?

Man: I don’t know.

Child: Do you really feel qualified enough to discuss nuclear issues when you don’t know shit.. ?

 

Ek Cute se bachhe ko dekh kar Ek Ladki ne uske Gaal par KISS kar diyaLadki: I am Sorry, Apke Gaal par Lipstik Lag gayi

Bachchaa: It’s OK baby, “Kuch achha karne se agar DAAG lagte hain to DAAG achhe hain”

Bachcha: Doodh peene se rang gora hota hai?Doctor: Haa, hota hai!

Bachcha: Jhooth, Phir bhains ka bachcha kaala kyun hota hai?

Bachcha (Doctor se): Kya koi bina dard ke bhi daant nikal sakta hai?Doctor: Nahin

Bachcha: Main nikal sakta hoon!

Doctor: Ho hi nahin sakta, mujhe bhi dikhao…

Bachcha: Ha ha ha ha ha hahahaha
(bachche ne battisi dikha di )

 

Teacher: What is your mother’s name?
Kid: Kabhi naam nahi puchha,
Bas.. pyar se MAA kehta hu .

Husband Wife Jokes: Suhagrat ki Raat

Husband Wife Jokes: Suhagrat ki Raat

Husband Wife Jokes: Suhagrat ki Raat

सुहागरात के दिन पत्नी अपने भारी भरकमवस्त्रों को निकाल कर फ़ेंक रही थी और हलके

वस्त्र धारण कर रही थी !

तभी पति महोदय पप्पू की एंट्री हुई और उसने

कपड़ों के ढेर को देखा !

पत्नी ने पति की तरफ तिरछी नजरों से देखते

हुए कहा :-

पता है न क्या करना है ?

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पप्पू ( बाहर भागते हुए ) : ऐसी कि तैसी, मैं

इतनी ठण्डी रात में कपडे कभी नहीं धोऊंगा !

Husband-wife funny joke Husband wife funny Hindi joke

Husband-wife funny joke Husband wife funny Hindi joke

देहाती पत्नी पति को पीट रही थी ।

पडोसी बोला : क्यों मार रही हो बेचारे को

पत्नी बोली : बेचारे नहीं हे ये !

इन्हें फ़ोन किया था तो एक लड़की बोली !
जिस व्यक्ति से आप संपर्क करना चाहते हे वह अभी व्यस्त ह !
😃😃😃😜😜?🌹🌹💞🍹🍹🍷🍸♨♨♨🙌🙌👏👏😜😍😝

 

पापा की बदमासी Family Joke in Hindi Husband-wife funny joke Husband wife funny Hindi joke

पिंकू अपनी माँ के साथ बाजार जा रहा था,
पिंकू – मम्मी मैं दिवाली पे इस
दुकान से पटाखे खरीदूंगा,
माँ – नालायक, ये दुकान नहीं,
लड़कियों का हॉस्टल है,
पिंकू – अरे नहीं ,
कल पापा बोल रहे थे कि यहाँ एक से एक धांसू पटाखे मिलते हैं
मम्मी बेहोश  –

Husband Wife Funny Hindi Joke – Husband-wife funny joke

पति पत्नी मंदिर में पूजा करने गये..

पति- तुमने क्या माँगा??

पत्नी- कि आप और मैं सात जन्म तक साथ रहें..

और तुमने क्या माँगा??

पति- भगवान करे ये मेरा सातवाँ जन्म हो..

 

Husband Wife Funny Hindi Joke – Husband-wife funny joke

पत्नी ने नया फोन लिया..

और अपने पति को सरप्राइज देने के लिए

किचन में जाकर फोन किया..

पत्नी- कैसे हो जानू.

पति- हेलो, डार्लिग बाद में फ़ोन करता हूँ अभी वो चुड़ैल किचन में है.

 

Arvind Kejriwal Jokes , Arvind Kejriwal Hindi jokes

Arvind Kejriwal Jokes , Arvind Kejriwal Hindi jokes

एक बालक जिद पर अड़ गया

बोला की “मिर्ची” खाऊंगा…

घरवालों ने बहुत समझाया पर नहीं माना !!

हार कर उसके गुरु जी को बुलाया गया। वे जिद तुड़वाने में महारथी थे…..

गुरु के आदेश पर “मिर्ची” मंगवाई गई.

उसे प्लेट में परोस बालक के सामने रख गुरु बोले, ले खा…

बालक मचल गया.. बोला-

“तली हुई खाऊंगा..”

गुरु ने “मिर्ची” तलवाई और दहाड़े, “ले अब चुपचाप खा..”

बालक फिर गुलाटी मार गया
और बोला, आधी खाऊंगा…..

“मिर्ची” के दो टुकड़े किये गये..
बालक गुरुजी से बोला,
पहले आप खाओ….

गुरु ने आंख नाक भींच किसी तरह आधी “मिर्ची” निगली…

गुरु के “मिर्ची” निगलते ही बालक दहाड़ मार कर रोने लगा की आप तो वो टुकड़ा खा गये जो मुझे खाना था..

गुरु ने धोती सम्भाली और वहां से भाग निकले,
करना-धरना कुछ नहीं,
नौटंकी दुनिया भर की…

वो ही बालक बड़ा होकर “” के नाम से मशहुर हुआ…

Mirza Ghalib Hindi Jokes – किसी ने मिर्ज़ा ग़ालिब से पूछा

किसी ने मिर्ज़ा ग़ालिब से पूछा,

आपके ख्याल में मोहब्बत शादी से पहले होनी चाहिए या शादी के बाद..??

मिर्ज़ा साहब ने फ़रमाया…

मोहब्बत शादी से पहले हो,
या शादी के बाद,

मगर बीवी को इसकी हवा भी नहीं लगनी चाहिए..!!

😜😝😛😳😜😝😛😳

Saas Bahu Jokes, Best Saas Bahu Hindi jokes

Saas Bahu Jokes, Best Saas Bahu Hindi jokes

 Saas Bahu Ki Tu Tu Mein Mein

Saas Bahu se : Uthh jaa kambakht… Dekh Suraj kabka nikal aay hai.

Bahu : Hey.. Relax mom.. Woh sota bhi toh mujhse pehle hai..

 


Saas Bahu Jokes :Saas and bahu arguments

Saas:khude ne tujhe 2 ankhain di hain
tu chawal se pathar nahi nikal sakti?

Bahu:Khuda ne aapko 32 dant diye hain,
2-4 pathar nahin chaba saktien?


 

Kyon ke saas bhe kabhi bahu thee

BAHU K 1-2 affair sunne k baad sasur ne suicide karli
3-4 k baadpati ne suicide kar li,

magar SAAS chup rahi.

Why?

“KION K SAAS BHI KABHI BAHU THI”.


 

Saas Bahu Jokes :Mere dil mae aaj kya hai

Bahu: Mere dil mae aaj kya hai… Tu kahe tou meh bata doon Teri jhotti mae nhuaa doon Teri poli mae buhaa roon Tera seet, or nooni ghee bhi Tu kahe tou mae sambhaloon!

Saas: Tujhe kya suna oon bahu meri Tere saamne mera haal hae Meri bhains tujhe pukaarey Meri bachhiya kyun jugaaley Mere jawaar bajre ke khet bhi Tere dhaatey ki rah gujaren Tera bitoda tujhko bulaae Teri bilowany bhi gungunaae Yo gandasa keh raha hae


 

Saas Bahu Jokes :Saas Bahu ka payar

Ek ghar me saas-bahu bahot pyar se rehte the.. Ek baar ghar me ek guest aya..

bahu ne saas ko uss guest se baat karte suna.. saas keh rhi thi ‘Beti shakkar ki tarah hoti hai

aur bahu namak ki tarah’.. ye sun kar bahu ko bahot bura laga.. wo udas rehne lagi.. jab saas ko

is baat ka pata chala to bahu se kaaran puchha.. bahu ne kaaran bataya. Tab saas ne hans kar kaha

‘uss baat ka matlab he.. beti shakkar ki tarah hoti h jo har haal me mithi lagti h… jabki bahu namak ki tarah hoti h jiska karz nhi

Funny One Liners to Make You Laugh, Funniest One-Liner Jokes

The Funniest One-Liner Jokes, Here are the funniest One Liner Jokes, A Collection of Funny One-Liners to Make You Laugh

1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

4. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.

5. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

6. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

7. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

8. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

9. If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

10. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

11. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

12. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

13. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

14. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

15. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

16. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

17. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

18. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

19. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

20. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

21. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong…

22. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

23. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

24. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

25. If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

50 funniest jokes of all time, Best all time jokes

 

50 funniest jokes of all time, Best all time jokes

 

The Top 50:

50. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, ‘Go to Bournemouth, it’s great for flu’. So I went – and I got it. 

49. A seal walks into a club…

48. Went to the corner shop – bought 4 corners.

47. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people’s pants, it was Wedgie Kray.

46. I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

45. I tried water polo but my horse drowned.      

44. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’   

43. You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he’s a catholic converter.

42. I’ve got a friend who’s fallen in love with two school bags, he’s bisatchel.      

41. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it.

40. ‘I said to this train driver “I want to go to Paris”. He said “Eurostar?” I said, “I’ve been on telly but I’m no Dean Martin”. ‘  

39. ‘My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife’ll look at me and go, “Who’s that calling at this time?’ “I don’t know! If I knew that we wouldn’t need the bloody phone!” ‘  

38. A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, What a turtle disaster

37.’ I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said “may contain nuts.” Well, YES! That’s what I bought the buggers for! You’d be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!”‘      

Tommy Cooper’s surreal non-sequiturs still raise a laugh today

36. I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four.    

35. ‘I went down the local supermarket, I said, “I want to make a complaint, this vinegar’s got lumps in it”, he said, “Those are pickled onions”. ‘     

34. There was a man who entered a local paper’s pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

33. I was having dinner with Garry Kasparov and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

32. ‘Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says “Oi – get out! We don’t want your type in here”  ‘

31. ‘So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says “Your eyes sparkle like diamonds”. I said, “Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck”. ‘    

30. I’m in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite……… one jar.   

29. ‘I was in Tesco’s and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, “Are you two an item?” ‘   

28. ‘A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “because,” he said “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.” ‘  

27. Went to the paper shop – it had blown away.

26. I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can’t get the cobwebs out of her hair.

25. ‘The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said “Did you get my drift?”.’

24. ‘A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says “Sorry we don’t serve food in here” ‘

23. ‘A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”  ‘

22. Slept like a log last night…….. Woke up in the fireplace.

21. ‘A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything” ‘

20. I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she’d popped her clogs.     

19. ‘I rang up British Telecom, I said, “I want to report a nuisance caller”, he said “Not you again”.’  
18. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.”

17. ‘When Susan’s boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: “I love the simple things in life, but I don’t want one of them for my husband”. ‘    

16. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.      

15. ‘There’s two fish in a tank, and one says to the other “How do you drive this thing?” ‘

14. ‘A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ‘Amal.’ The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan’. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, “But they are twins. If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.” ‘         

13. ‘I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, “He’s trying to pull a fast one”. ‘

12. My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked. 

11. ‘I went to the doctors the other day and I said, ‘Have you got anything for wind?’ So he gave me a kite. ‘

THE TOP 10

10. ‘A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: “Pint please, and one for the road.”  ‘

9. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.

8. Another one was: Doc, I can’t stop singing the ‘Green Green Grass of Home’. He said: ‘That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome’. ‘Is it common?’I asked. ‘It’s not unusual’ he replied.    

7. Two aerials meet on a roof – fall in love – get married. The ceremony was rubbish – but the reception was brilliant.

6. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other one off.

5.  ‘I said to the Gym instructor “Can you teach me to do the splits?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays”‘

4. ‘A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, “Shut up…you’re next!” ‘.

3. ‘Dyslexic man walks into a bra…’

2. ‘I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.’

1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ‘Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!’ The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ‘The driver just insulted me!’ The man says: ‘You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.’