Whatsapp jokes in English

Marriage jokes
As a couple gets into bed, the husband starts to rub and kiss his wife. She turns over and says, “I’m sorry, honey. I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh.” The husband sadly turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife. “Do you have a dentist appointment, too?”

 

Marriage jokes
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

Whatsapp jokes in English

Mr. Smith’s wife has been in a coma for four months. The nurses have come to realise that she moves every time they wash her crotch area. The doctors think hard about this. They bring in Mr. Smith and say that they have a good idea. Perhaps if he practices oral sex with her she will wake out of the coma. Mr. Smith would do anything so he asks for some privacy. He soon rushes out saying, ”I think she’s choking!”

Lawyer Jokes

“You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background,” sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand. “If I wasn’t under oath, I’d return the compliment,” replied the witness

2 Lines Shayari SMS – shayariwow Short 2 liner Shayari

Two 2 Line Shayari in Hindi, read collection of Short Shayari SMS – Short Shayari Sms Hindi or two line shayari

कहाँ मिलता है.. कभी कोई समझने वाला..
जो भी मिलता है.. समझा के चला जाता है..

ढूँढ ही लेता है मुझे किसी ना किसी बहाने से “दर्द”
वाकिफ़ हो गया है मेरे हर ठिकाने से !

इस दुनिया मेँ अजनबी रहना ही ठीक है….
लोग बहुत तकलीफ देते है अक्सर अपना बना कर !!

वो आज करती है नज़र अंदाज़ तो बुरा न मान,
टूट कर चाहने वालों को रुलाना रिवाज है इस दुनिया का !!

 

जरूरतें भी जरूरी हैं, जीने के लिये लेकिन,
तुझसे जरूरी तो, जिदंगी भी नही……..

 

न वो फरिश्ता हो, न ही फ़रिश्ते जैसी हो,
मुझे उसकी तलाश है, जो बस मेरे जैसी हो.!!

 

होता अगर मुमकिन, तुझे साँस बना कर रखते सीने मे,
तू रुक जाये तो मैं नही, मैं मर जाऊ तो तू नही.!!

 

ना लफ़्ज़ों का लहू निकलता है ना किताबें बोल पाती है,
मेरे दर्द के दो ही गवाह थे और दोनों ही बेजुबां निकले !!

2 line Shayari SMS

 

ना मेरी नज़र से नज़र मिला, के ये इत्तफाक अजीब है,
मुझे शॉक जाम ए शराब का, तेरी आँखें जाम ए शराब हैं ।

 

तुम्हारी नफरत पर भी लूटा दी जिंदगी हमने,
सोचो अगर तुम मोहब्बत करते तो हम क्या करते…

 

अपनी दोस्ती का बस इतना सा असूल है…
ज़ब तू कुबूल है तो तेरा सब कुछ कुबूल है !!

 

इत्तेफ़ाक़ से मिल जाते हो जब तुम राह में कभी,
युँ लगता है करीब से ज़िन्दगी जा रही हो जैसे !!

 

Short Two Line Shayari Collection

 

महसूस खुद को तेरे बिना मैंने कभी किया नहीं।
तू क्या जाने लम्हा कोई मेने कभी जिया नहीं..

 

कोई तो बरसात ऐसी हो जो तेरे संग बरसे ,
तन्हा तो मेरी आँखें हर रोज़ बरसती है .

 

जब जब काग़ज़ पर लिखा, मैंने माँ का नाम…
क़लम अदब से बोल उठी, हो गये चारों धाम…

One Awesome Joke

One Awesome Joke 😛😛😛😛😀😀

One day an ✈aeroplane cleaner was cleaning the pilots’ cockpit when he saw a 📕book entitled “How to fly an aeroplane✈ for beginners. Volume One”.
😊

He opened the first page which said, “To start the engine, press the 🔴red button.”. He did so and the airplane engine started.
🎺

He was happy and opened the next page. “To set airplane moving press the blue🔵 button.”

He did so and the ✈aeroplane started moving at an amazing speed.
🎷

He wanted to fly so he opened the third page which read, “To let the aeroplane fly, please press the ♻green button.”

He did this and the plane started to ✈✈✈fly.
He was excited!!!🌻

After 20 minutes of flying, he was satisfied and wanted to land so he decided to go to the fourth page.
🍁

He fainted 😱after reading the instruction.. 🎯

The fourth page read, “To learn how to land, please purchase Volume Two at the nearest bookshop. !!!😜😆

One Awesome Joke

One Awesome Joke 😛😛😛😛😀😀

One day an ✈aeroplane cleaner was cleaning the pilots’ cockpit when he saw a 📕book entitled “How to fly an aeroplane✈ for beginners. Volume One”.
😊

He opened the first page which said, “To start the engine, press the 🔴red button.”. He did so and the airplane engine started.
🎺

He was happy and opened the next page. “To set airplane moving press the blue🔵 button.”

He did so and the ✈aeroplane started moving at an amazing speed.
🎷

He wanted to fly so he opened the third page which read, “To let the aeroplane fly, please press the ♻green button.”

He did this and the plane started to ✈✈✈fly.
He was excited!!!🌻

After 20 minutes of flying, he was satisfied and wanted to land so he decided to go to the fourth page.
🍁

He fainted 😱after reading the instruction.. 🎯

The fourth page read, “To learn how to land, please purchase Volume Two at the nearest bookshop. !!!😜😆

Short funny Hindi jokes with English words

Enjoy few sort hidni  jokes with english words

MOKKA IN ENGLISH
😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇
What do you call a bee that comes from America?

USB

No claps please!😄😄
😆😆😆🤗🤗🤗😆😆😆😆😆
What do you call a lady who drinks only one tea in a day?

Jaswanti
😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆
One More 😁

Why don’t people clap in Afghanistan?

Because of ‘Tali-ban’!😀
😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆
Acha ek or ☝😁

How do you ask your ‘Maasi’ to take a dip in water?

Diplomacy!😀😀
🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Ye wala last ☝😁

How do you say “she is calling a cab” in one word?

Vocabulary!😜😁
😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆
Ye wala ek dum last☝

Which Pakistani cricketer does not have a date of birth?

Umar Gul..
😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

😝😝 Bonus One

What you call a fat girl waiting at the Bus Stop.

Simple its – MOTIVATING.
😜😝😛😀😂