Funny Diwali Jokes : Diwali jokes & Diwali sms messages

Find Diwali jokes those will make you laugh, get Diwali sms messages, Happy Diwali text messages collection

Joke :Diwali joke

1st Sardar : Jab phatake phut te 
hai to pahle light dhekhai deti 
hai phir awaz, aisa kyon?
2nd Sardar : Kyonki hamari aankh
 aage hai aur kaan piche

Joke :Diwali joke

Reva to Neel:  ” what is Bruce Lee’s
 Favorite festival?”
Neel didnt know
Reva:  “Diwa Lee”
Reva:  “What does Bruce Lee have
 outside his home during Diwlai?”
Again Neel silent
Reva:  “Rango Lee”
Reva: “what did Bruce Lee give 
his sister as a gift?”
Neel Confused
Reva:  “chaniya cho lee”

Joke : Diwali joke

 
Diwali Ke din EK BAR 2 JUDWAA
BACHCHE EK KAMRE ME BAITHE THE!
1 HAS-HAS KE LOT-POT HO RAHA
 THA WAHIN DUSRA EK KONE ME 
UDAS BATHA THA!!!!!!!!!!
PAPA-TUM ITNA HAS KYUN RAHE HO?
BETA-MUMMY NE DONO BAR ISI KO 
NAHLA DIYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HA—–HA——HA

Joke :Diwali joke

    
Big B-Mere Pas Rocket Hai, SurSuri Hai,
Chakri Hai, Murga Bumb Hai, Tumhare 
Pas Kya Hai?
Shashi- Mere Pas MAA…chis Hai.
Happy Diwali
 

Joke :Diwali joke

The Funny Gambler

On the eve of Diwali a blackjack dealer and Damodar, a player who is holding cards adding to 13 were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer.

Damodar said, ‘When I get bad cards, it’s not the dealer’s fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so, why should I tip him?’ 

The dealer argued, ‘When you eat out do you tip the waiter?’ 

‘Of course,’ replied Damodar. 

”Well then, he serves you food, I’m serving you cards so you should tip me.’ 

‘OK, but, the waiter always gives me what I ask for.  Give me an eight to make blackjack,’ concluded Damodar.

Joke :Diwali joke

The Funny Flight

Madhul was flying home to see her family to celebrate Diwali with them. Fifteen minutes into the flight from Bombay to Delhi, the captain announced, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.’ 

Thirty minutes later the captain announced, ‘One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don’t worry . . . we can fly just fine on two engines.’ 

An hour later the captain announced, ‘One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another hour. But don’t worry… we still have one engine left.’ 

Madhul, turned to the man in the next seat and sighed and she said, ‘If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day.’

Top Funny Diwali message collection

 

1) Bollywood style Diwali SMS in Hindi

Amitabh bachchan –
Mere paas rocket hai,
Shurli hai, chakri hai,
Murga bumb hai, Anaar hai,
Tumhare paas kya hain….?
Shashi kapoor –
Mere paas Maaaa
Maa…chis hai 
Wish You a Very Happy Diwali

2) Santa Diwali Sms in English Messages

Santa: How does a married man
celebrates a noiseless Diwali..?
Banta: By going abroad….?
Santa: No. By sending his wife
to her parents’ place :P
Happy Deepavali

3) Happy Diwali Jokes in Hindi for Friends

Wish u Happy Diwali
I know ye jaldi hai par kya karu
bahut sare young smart frnds ko wish krna hai,
socha pehle sabhi “Buzurgo” ko nipta lu…!!
Happy Diwali Frinds

4) Funny Diwali Quotes in English

Husband drunk, came to home
Wife at door: how dare you…..?
You promised me that you
did not drink without any occasion,
then why you drunk today?
Funny husband: darling, the festival
of crackers diwali is coming..!!
Wife: so what ? What’s new in that..?
Husband: we need bottles to light rockets dear.

5) Funny Diwali Status for Whatsapp & Facebook

I’m maachis & you’re pataka,
together we are & it will be double dhamaka…!!

6) Funny Diwali Jokes in English

With my 1 heart, 2 eyes, 7 liter blood
206 bones, 4.5 million red cells
60 trillion D.N.A’ s…
All wishing you a very very
Happy Deepavali 

7) Happy Diwali Funny Sms in Hindi

Aapke life mein mithaas ho “Cadbury” jaise
Rounak ho “Asian Paints” jaise
Mehak ho “Axe” jaise
Tazgi ho “Colgate” jaise
Aur tension-free rahe “Huggies” jaise…..!!!!
Happy Diwali to All  

8) Short Diwali Message

Ur Eyes Patakha, Ur Lips Rocket,
Ur Ears Chakari, Ur Nose Fuljari,
Ur Style Anaar, Ur Personality Bomb,
SMS Karo Varna I’m Comin With Agarbatti.

9) Romantic SMS for Deepavali

On this diwali, I am sending you a diya of my love,
I hope you will keep it lighted forver.

Happy Diwali!!

10) Beautiful Hindi Diwali poem

Charo our hai dhoom, kyonki Diwali hai aayi,
khush raho aur sab ko khush karo,
Aapko aur apke sampurn family ko Diwali ki Hardik badhai..