Funny Doctor Joke – Hansane Wala funny Mareez

डॉक्टर – आपको क्या बिमारी है ?

मरीज़ – पहले आप वादा करो की हंसोगे नहीं ।

डॉक्टर – OK…Promise…

मरीज़ ने अपनी टांगे दिखाई जो माचिस की तीली जितनी पतली थी ।

डॉक्टर को यह देख के हंसी आ गयी ।

मरीज़ – आपने ना हंसने का वादा किया था ।

डॉक्टर – अच्छा Sorry…
अब तकलीफ बताओ ।

मरीज़ – डॉक्टर साहब, यह सूज गयी है ।

डॉक्टर – हाहाहाहा… भाग साले…
तू आया ही हंसाने के लिए है…

 

Doctor patient hindi jokes – माचिस की तीली

Doctor patient hindi jokes

डॉक्टर – आपको क्या बिमारी है ?

मरीज़ – पहले आप वादा करो की हंसोगे नहीं ।

डॉक्टर – OK…Promise…

मरीज़ ने अपनी टांगे दिखाई जो माचिस की तीली जितनी पतली थी ।

डॉक्टर को यह देख के हंसी आ गयी ।

मरीज़ – आपने ना हंसने का वादा किया था ।

डॉक्टर – अच्छा Sorry…
अब तकलीफ बताओ ।

मरीज़ – डॉक्टर साहब, यह सूज गयी है ।

डॉक्टर – हाहाहाहा… भाग साले…
तू आया ही हंसाने के लिए है…
😂😂😂😆😆😆

Women will be Women – Ultimate bargain Joke

Women will be Women 😉

Ultimate bargain:

A lady calls a Dentist to inquire about the cost for tooth extraction.

Dentist:
Rs 850 Ma’m.

Lady:
Rs 850!!! Too much!
Don’t you have anything cheaper?

Dentist:
That’s the normal charge, Ma’m.

Lady:
What if you don’t use any anesthetic?

Dentist:
That’s unusual, ma’m
but can be done and will cut the cost by Rs 400 .

Lady :
Ok.
And what if you deploy one of your trainee-dentists to do the extraction,
without anesthetic?

Dentist:
Well,
I cannot guarantee professionalism and
it also would be painful.
But the price could drop down to
Rs 150.

Lady:
Hmm.
What if you make it like a training-session,
like one of your students does the extraction,
while the other students watch and learn?

Dentist:
It’ll be good for the students
but quite traumatic.
And I can pay you Rs 200 for it.

Lady:
Now you’re talking!
Ok, it’s a deal.
Can I confirm an appointment for my husband🙇
for tomorrow then?

सलीम भाई की एक टांग नीली हो गयी – Joke

सलीम भाई की एक टांग नीली हो गयी..
हकीम:—-शायद जहर फ़ैल गया है टांग काटनी पड़ेगी…

कुछ दिन बाद दूसरी भी नीली पड़ गयी…
हाकिम:—इस टांग में भी जहर फ़ैल रहा है ये भी काटनी पड़ेगी…

हाकिम ने दोनों टांगे काट दी और आर्टिफिसियल टांग लगा दी..

कुछ दिन बाद आर्टिफिसियल टांग भी नीली पड़ गयी..

हाकिम :—-अब तुम्हारी बीमारी समझ में आइ मियां..

तुम्हारी लुंगी कलर छोड़ती है ।

एक बुज़ुर्ग ऑपरेशन टेबल पर लेटे थे – Hindi #Joke

एक बुज़ुर्ग ऑपरेशन टेबल पर लेटे थे। बड़ा ऑपरेशन होने वाला था और ऑपरेशन उनका डॉ.दामाद करने वाला था। जब डॉ. दामाद आपरेशन थियेटर में आया तो बुज़ुर्ग ने बड़े प्यार से दामाद का हाथ पकड़ के कहा कि बेटा मैं जानता हूँ तुम मुझे कुछ नहीं होने दोगे । पर अगर  कुछ अनहोनी हो गयी तो तुम्हारी सास तुम्हारे साथ ही रहेगी। उसका ध्यान रखना।

ऑपरेशन बहुत सफल रहा।
😄😄😄😄

Doctor Patient Jokes

Doctor Patient Jokes : Doctor – wherever I touch, it hurts

A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.”
The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”

The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee – OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.”
The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you – you’ve broken your finger!”

Funny jokes: Doctors and Patients Jokes

Read Funny Doctors and Patients Jokes

Here you will find Doctor patient jokes those will make you laugh.

Funny Conversations Between Doctor and Patient

Doctor: You are in very critical condition. you are dying and you don’t have much time.
Patient: OMG, that’s terrible. How long have I got?
Doctor: 10
Patient: 10 what? days, weeks, months or years?
Doctor: 10…9…8…7…6….
Patient: !!!!!!

Wife: Doctor, my husband talking every night while he sleeping..!
Doctor: You must allow him to talk at the day times..!


 

The doctor told a patient that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. After 300 days, the patient called the doctor to report he had lost weight, but he had a problem.
Doctor : ‘What is the problem?’
Patient : ‘I am 2400 kms. from home.’
______________________________________

Doctor to Patient: You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient: Yes. A Good Doctor.
______________________________________

PATIENT: Na khaau, to bhook lagti hai. Na souu, to Neend aati hai. Zyada kaam karu, to thakawat hoti hai.
DOCTOR: Saari Raat Dhoop mein baitho, Theek ho jaoge.
______________________________________

HUSBAND OF THE PATIENT: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
DOCTOR: When the kids are in college. . .
______________________________________

Patient: Doctor, aapko yakeen hai ki mujhe Nimonia (pneumonia) hai, kyunki picchle dino ek doctor mere friend ka Namoonia ka ilaaj karta raha aur woh Typhoid se mar gaya…
Doctor: Haan! Mujhe pura yaqeen hai ki tu nimonia se hi marega…
______________________________________

Patient: Doctor Sahab, main jab baat karta hu toh mujhe sirf awaaz sunaai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Doctor: Aisa kab hota hai?
Patient: Phone karte waqt…
______________________________________

Patient : I always see spots before my eyes.
Doctor : Didn’t the new glasses help?
Patient : Yes, they do. Now I see the spots much clearer!!!
______________________________________

Doctor to Patient : The cheque which u gave me has returned back….
Patient to Doctor: The head-ache for which you gave me medicine has also returned back….
______________________________________

A Cute Nurse came 4 the interview.
Doctor: What salary do U expect?
Nurse: Rs.10,000.
Doctor was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With Pleasure its 25,000.
______________________________________

Sharabi to Doctor: Kya aap meri sharab chhudva sakte ho?
Doctor: Haan, kyun nahi.
Sharabi: To police headquaters me meri 4 bottle padi hai. Please chhudwa do.
______________________________________

Doctor interviewing a Nurse: What would U do in the case of a person who has eaten poisonous roots?
Nurse: Recommend a change of diet…..
______________________________________

Patient: Doctor! Mujhe aisi dava dijiye ki marne ke baad main fir se zinda ho jaau….
Doctor: Ye Tel. No. lo. Ye Ekta Kapoor ka no. hai, is pe contact karo….
______________________________________

Patient: Doctor Saahab! Main Khud Ko Bhagwan Samajhne Laga Hu….
Doctor: Ye Problem Tumhe Kab Se Hai…?
Patient: Jab Se Maine Ye Duniya Banayi Hai….
______________________________________

Doctor: You should take at least 10 glasses of water everyday.
Patient: It is impossible.
Doctor: Why?
Patient: I have only 4 glasses at home…..
______________________________________

Patient: I keep feeling like a Dog.
Doctor: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Since l was a puppy.
______________________________________

Doctor: You are Very Sick.
Patient: Can I get a Second Opinion?
Doctor: Yes, Of course! You are very Ugly too…..
______________________________________

Nurse : “Wake up man!”
Patient : “Why, what’s the matter?”
Nurse : “Nothing, I just forgot to give u the prescribed sleeping pills….”
______________________________________

Lady Patient: Doctor! Please call my husband inside.
Doctor: Trust me, I’m a Gentleman.
Lady: No Doctor, Your Nurse is sitting outside & my husband is not a Gentleman….
______________________________________