Funny Dentist Jokes:

Visit To The Dentist

The Marshes were shown into the dentist’s surgery, where Mr Marsh makes it absolutely clear that he is in a big hurry.Funny visit to the dentist

‘No expensive extras, Doctor’, Marsh demands, ‘No gas or needles or any of that fancy stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with.’

‘I wish more of my patients were as strong minded and as brave as you, Mr Marsh, ‘said the dentist admiringly. ‘Now, which tooth is it?’

 

Dentist Puns and One Liner Jokes:

There was a dentist who was convicted of incisor trading.

I went to the dentist without lunch, and he gave me a plate.

No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out in a conversation.

I’ve been to the dentist several times so I know the drill.

Contemplating my imminent root canal procedure was deeply unnerving.

I got a gold filling and put my money where my mouth is.

Be kind to your dentist because he has fillings too.

My cavity wasn’t fixed by my regular dentist, but by a guy who was filling in.

My dentist would simply not stop working on my teeth. He was abscessive compulsive.

A dentist and manicurist fought tooth and nail.

Dentists have their own flossify on how to keep teeth clean.

The dentist put braces on his patient as a stop-gap measure.

Dental care in Panama is called a route canal.

For the orthodontist visit, the boy had to brace himself.

I got my job at the dentist’s office by word of mouth.

They called him the king of the dentists because he specialized in crowns.

The dentist’s alibi was full of holes, so the police performed a cavity search.

A dentist gets on everybody’s nerves.

Funny Dentist Jokes:

Q: What does the dentist of the year get?

A: A little plaque

Q: At what time do most people go to the dentist?

A: At tooth-hurty (2:30).

Q: What does a dentist do on a roller coaster?

A: He braces himself

Q: What did the dentist say to the computer?

A: This won’t hurt a byte

Q: What did the dentist see at the North Pole?

A: A molar bear

Q: What was the dentist doing in Panama?

A: Looking for the Root Canal!

Funny Dentist Jokes

Some people may be nervous about visiting the dentist. In fact, some feel terrified. No worries though, your dentist will do their best to make you feel comfortable and help keep your teeth healthy. If you still feel anxious, ease your fear with laughter from some dental humor.

— Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?

  •      A: To get his teeth crowned.

— Q: Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania?

  •      A: Dracula’s dentist

— Q: What did the tooth say to the departing dentist?

  •      A: “Fill me in when you get back.”

— Q: Why didn’t the dentist ask his secretary out?

  •      A: Because he was already taking a tooth out.

— Q: What does an orthodontist do during an earthquake?

  •      A: Braces herself.

— Q: What was the dentist doing in Panama?

  •      A: Looking for a root canal.

— Q: What did the tooth say to the departing dentist?

  •      A: “Fill me in when you get back.”

— Q: What did the dentist say to the golfer?

  •      A: “You have a hole in one.”

— Q: What did the dentist say to the computer?

  •      A: “This won’t hurt a byte.”

— Q: Why do dentists like potatoes?

  •      A: Because they’re so filling.

Beer, Wine and Alcohol Jokes!

Beer, Wine and Alcohol Jokes

 

Q: How does a man show he’s planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of Heineken instead of one.
Q: What’s the difference between a prostitute and a bottle of wine?
A: The older a bottle of wine is, the more you have to pay for it
Q: What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet?
A: A Budweiser in each hand!
Q: Why was Tequila invented?
A: So ugly people would have a chance at having sex!
Q: You know what’s fun about being sober?
A: Nothing
Q: What do Russians get when mixing Holy Water with Vodka?
A: The Holy Spirit!
Q: What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol?
A: Tequila Mockingbird
Q: What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a bottle of Johnny Walker?
A: A guy will actually SEARCH for a bottle of Johnny Walker.
Q: Why does Corona go through your system so fast?
A: Because it does not have to stop to change color.
Q: Why are Men like coolers?
A: Load them with Budweiser, and you can take them anywhere!
Unlike milk, it’s okay to cry over spilled wine!
Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
A: Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 80?
A: Four guys drinking Coors Light and watching a football game!
My girlfriend is a wine connoisseur. If it’s not one thing she’s whining about, it’s something else.
Q: What does a shot of Tequila and a woman have in common?
A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
Q. Why did God invent Jameson whiskey?
A. So the Irish would never rule the world!

Funny One Liners to Make You Laugh, Funniest One-Liner Jokes

The Funniest One-Liner Jokes, Here are the funniest One Liner Jokes, A Collection of Funny One-Liners to Make You Laugh

1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

4. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.

5. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

6. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

7. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

8. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

9. If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

10. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

11. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

12. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

13. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

14. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

15. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

16. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

17. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

18. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

19. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

20. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

21. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong…

22. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

23. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

24. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

25. If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.