Funny Santa joke – Spelling of Burlington

संता : जल्दी से यहाँ एक 108 एम्बुलेंस भेज दीजिये,

मेरे दोस्त को एक गाडी ने टक्कर मार दी है।
उसके नाक से और कान से खून बह रहा है। शायद

उसकी टांग भी टूट गयी है।

ऑपरेटर : आप किस जगह पर हैं
कृपया वो बता दीजिये।

संता : बर्लिंगटन चौराहे पर।

ऑपरेटर : आप मुझे बर्लिंगटन चौराहे की स्पेलिंग
बता दीजिये?

(आगे से कोई आवाज़ नहीं आई।)

ऑपरेटर : सर क्या आप को मेरी आवाज़ आ रही है?

(दूसरी तरफ से अभी भी कोई आवाज़ नहीं आई।)

ऑपरेटर : सर प्लीज, जवाब दीजिये, क्या आप मुझे
सुन रहे हैं?

संता : हाँ- हाँ मैं उसे घसीट कर
नाका चौराहे पर ले आया हूँ। आप नाका की स्पेलिंग
लिखो।. NAKA 😜😜😜😜😜😂😂😂😂👏👏

पड़ोसी की खिड़की Neighbor Love and Romance Joke in Hindi

संता के पड़ोस में नए पड़ोसी आये,

उनके घर में एक खिड़की लगी थी

संता की बीवी – देखो जी हमारे पड़ोसी कितने अच्छे हैं,
दिन रात प्यार मुहब्बत और किस करते रहते हैं :)

संता – तो मैं क्या करूँ ?

प्रीतो – आप भी ऐसा नहीं कर सकते क्या ?

संता – मैं कैसे करूँ मैं अभी उनको जानता भी नहीं हूँ :) :)

 

संता: बेटे दो बिस्तर किसलिए लगाए हैं.

संता: बेटे दो बिस्तर किसलिए लगाए हैं.

लड़का: पापा घर में दो मेहमान आने वाले हैं, एक मम्मी का भाई और दूसरा मेरे मामा.

संता: अबे गधे, एक बिस्तर और लगा ले मेरा साला भी तो आने वाला है.
😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜👌👌

Teacher : Name 7 different type of Cheese – Santa Banta Joke

Deadly:
🍕🍕🍞🍞🍞

Teacher : Name 7 different type of Cheese.

Banta :
1. Ricotta
2. Cottage
3. Mozarella
4. Cheddar
5. Swiss blue
6. Bekhudi
7. Zindagi

Teacher : Wait a minute, what is ‘Bekhudi’ and ‘Zindagi’?

Banta : Hosh walon ko khabar kya, ‘Bekhudi’ kya cheese hai. Ishq kijiye phir samjhiye, ‘Zindagi’ kya cheese hai…. 😂😂😂😂

 

 

Sardar and Hidden Camera Joke

Sardar and Hidden Camera Joke

asmeet caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.

Jasmeet : “What are you searching for?”

Santa : “Hidden camera!”

Jasmeet : “And what makes you think that there are hidden camera here?”

Santa : “That guy on tv knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, You are watching the Star World channel. How does he know that?”

Funny Jokes : Santa Banta joke

Joke :Santa banta joke

Santa:I want to surprise my girlfriend?
Banta :Do one thing !  Introduce her to your wife. 

Joke :Santa banta joke

Banta: Explain Digestive System In One Sentence..!!
Santa: It's A Process That Starts Wid Right Hand & 
       Ends Wid Left Hand......    

Joke :Santa banta joke

Santa : Jab me peta hua toh miltary walo ne 
        20 top chalai thi.
Banta:  Kamaal hai ! sari ka nichana chook gya?    

Joke :Santa banta joke

Santa to shopkeeper: Dettol soap hai kya .
Shopkeeper (with finger inside nose ) : haan ji.
Santa : Toh Hath doh kar 250 gm chini dena .    

Joke :Santa banta joke

Santa and banta were watching cirket 
Santa :kya goal mara hai
Banta : Abe ullu "goal " to cirket me hota hai.    

Joke :Santa banta joke

santa: samindar me dahi dal raha tha
banta:isi liye log humpe joke banate hay.
itni lassi tera baap piyega    

Joke :Santa banta joke

Sabziwala Sabzi Par Pani Chhidak Raha Tha
Kaafi Der ho Gayi to Santa pyar se bola-
Agar Sabzi ko HOSH Aa Gaya ho to Ek kilo De Do...    

Joke :Santa banta joke

Govt announced: Jinke 5 bacche hain, unhe 
1 ghar denge.
Santa ke 3 the aur apne Wife se bola: Padosan 
ke 2 bhi mere hi hain....unko le aao par Apne 
3 kahan gaye?
Wife: Jinke the wo le gaye.    

Joke :Santa banta joke

Santa:Banta aaj meri Girl friend ka birthday hai. 
      Use kya du..?
Banta:Dekhne me kaisi hai?
Santa:Mast hai..
Banta:Mera mobile number de de!    

Joke :Santa banta joke

 Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master 
       ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai. 

Joke :Santa banta joke

Santa goes to buy a underwear. On choosing one 
he asked: How much for this?
Shopkeeper: Rs 500
Santa: Arey bhai daily waer dikhaao, Party wear 
       nahin chahiye. 

Joke :Santa banta joke

Santa:Aaj kisine mere BAAP ko gaali di.
Patni:Fir?
Santa:Maine bhi uske baap ko gaali di.
Patni:Lekin wo kaun tha?
Santa:Mera BETA..  

Joke :Santa banta joke

Santa's Army Test
Pappu- 3+5?
Santa- 8
Pappu- 7+3?
Santa- 10
Pappu- 8+8?
Santa- Pata nahi sir
Mere pass sirf 10 hi ungli Hai.  

Joke :Santa banta joke

Santa - My wife died yesterday..
I'm trying to cry but tears are not come out,
what to do?
Banta - No Problem.
Just Imagine she Came Back  

Joke :Santa banta joke

Santa : Yeah bacha tumhara kia lagta hai
Banta :yeah mera door ka bhai hai
Santa :door ka mein samjha nahin
Banta :Iske aur mere beech 8 behan bhai aur hai  

Joke :Santa banta joke

Santa :'Doctor ' mujhe har chez do dikhai deti hai
Doctor Aap charo ko yehi problem hai kya!  

Joke :Santa banta joke

Santa: Whose skeleton is that?
Banta: An old king's skeleton.
Santa: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Banta: That was same king's skeleton when he was 
       a child."  

Joke :Santa banta joke

Teacher: Where were you born?
Santa : India
Teacher :which part?
Santa: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .  

Joke :Santa banta joke

Santa: Beta ye kaisi machis lay kar 
       aaye ho ek bhi nahi jal rahi
Son  : kya baat kartay ho pappa sub check 
       kar kay laya hoooon  

Joke :Santa banta joke

Doctor : Your kidney has failed .
Satna : With low voice by how many number  

Joke :Santa banta joke

Teacher :which is the first silent hindi movie.
Santa : 'sir' if the movie was silent how 
         it can be 'hindi ' movie.
first time santa rocks teacher shocks.  

Joke :Santa banta joke

Police: aapki car ki accident kaise hua?
Santa: woh to mujhe bhi pata nahi hai sir. 
       tab main so rahaa tha?  

Joke :Santa banta joke

Santa: pata hai, bachpan mein mujhe ek bus ne zor 
       se dakka maar diya tha.
Banta: baap re, tu mar gaya ke bach gaya?
Santa: mujhe yaad nahi hai. main tab 4 saal ka tha  

Joke :Santa banta joke

 

Santa: main england jaane ke baare mein soch rahaa hoon. Banta: bahut paise kharch hoga na. Santa: nahi banta, sochne ke liye paise kyu?

Joke :Santa banta joke

Santa: tumhaara beta bilkul tumhaara 
       jaisa hi dikhtaa hai.
Banta: dheere se bol... woh padosi 
       ka beta hai


Joke :Santabanta joke



Santa Sharab Pikar
Sadhu Se Takra Gya
Sadhu Gusse Me- Aye Murkh
Me Tujhe SHRAAP Deta Hu
Santa-Rukiye Maharaj
Me Glas Leke Ata hu

Joke :Santabanta joke


Techr: Tum late kyo aaye ho?
Santa: Mumy papa lad rhe the..
Techr: wo lad rhe the to tum kyo late aaye?
santa=mera 1 juta maumy k pass or Dusra papa k paas tha!..


Joke :Santabanta joke

Doctor:which soap u use?
santa: Bajrang soap,bajrang paste,Bajrang brush.
Dr.Is Bajrang an international company?
santa: No bajrang is my room Partner..

Santa: I’ve Been Sending E-mails To William Shakespare…
Banta: William Shakespare Is Dead, Stupid…
Santa: No Wonder He Hasn’t Replied As Well…

Santa: Yaar Uth Bhukamp Aa Raha Hai, Saara Ghar Hil Raha Hai.
Banta: Soja-Soja Ghar Girega To Makaan Maalik Ka, Hum To Kirayedar Hain..

SANTA Ghar Ka Darwaza Ukhaad Ke Kandhe Pe Rakh Ke Ja Raha Tha.
Kisi Ne Puchha: Oye Kahan Ja Rahe Ho?
SANTA:Chabi kho gyi h Taala Khulwanay ja rha hun……….

Santa: Should I Buy Tickets For My Children.?
Conductor: Yes! Only If They Are Above 8.
Santa: Thank God ,I Have Only 6 Children..!!

Salesman-Which Soap U Use?
Santa-BABA’S Soap,BABA’S Paste,BABA’S Brush.
Salesman-Is BABA’S
An INTERNATIONAL Company?
SAnta: Baba Is My Room Mate

 

Joke :Santa banta joke

Santa : Among My 4 Sons 3 R Engineers
Frnd:4th?
Santa : Useles,Dnt Study, Becam A Barber
Frnd:Y ,Dnt U Throw Him Out
Santa : Coz He’s D Only 1 Who Earns..!

Joke :Santa banta joke

Judge: Y U’ve stolen money 4m dis man?
Sardar: My lord I’ve nt stolen money. He jst gave it 2 me
Judge: Whn He gave U money ?
Sardar: Whn I showd him gun

Joke :Santabanta joke

Santa’s wife dies. He is calm, but his wife’s lover is crying furiously…
Finally, santa consoles him: Don’t worry buddy, I will marry again.

Joke :Santabanta joke

Santa : Soch Raha Hu Ki USA Ghumaun,
Kitna Paisa Lagega?
Banta : Kuch B Nahi
Santa : Kaise?
Banta : Sochne K Liye Paise Nahi Lagte

Joke :Santabanta joke

Santa: Mujhe Shadi Me BMW Mili He.
Banta: Pr Tumhare Pass To Koi Car Nahi He!
Santa: Abye Ghadhe,
BMW Ka Matlab
Bahut Motti Wife

Joke :Santabanta joke

Preeto 2 maid:
Oh Kanta, I have 2 suspect that
Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don’t believe it!
U r just trying 2 make me jealous.

 

Joke :Santa banta joke

 

Santa ne bhagte huye Bus pakdi aur Driver se puchha.
Bus teri Maa lagti he?
Nahi.
Behen?
Nahi.
Biwi?
Nahi.
To kamine “PAKDNE” kyo nhi deta..

Joke :Santabanta joke

 

Santa Kadi-Chaawal Kha Raha Tha.
Khate-Khate Ek MAKKHI khaane pe Baithne Lagi.
SANTA Use Udate Hue Bola- Chal Pagli, Ye Wo Nahi Hai Jo Tu Samajh Rahi Hai..!

Joke :Santabanta joke

Santa: whats diffrence between Seniors & Juniors?
Banta: samundra k najdik rehte wo seniors (sea+nears)
&
jo Zoo k najdik rehte wo Juniors (Zoo+nears)

Joke :Santabanta joke

Sardar: Yaar ye “SENT MESSAGE” Kya hota he?
2nd sardar: Ghochu,
Saale, Bevkuf, Tune Hi Srdaro Ka Nam Kharab Kia He.
Sent Message Matlab “Khushbu Wala Message..

Joke :Santabanta joke

Teacher: Cow Hamari Mata hai.(School k bahar 1 Cow road pe ghum rhi thi)
Santa: Sir..Sir.. Baahar Aapki Mummy Awara “saando” k sath Ghoom Rahi hai

 

Joke :Santabanta joke

Jailor: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha! Jailor: Kyon has rahe ho?
Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hoon!

Joke :Santabanta joke

Santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella mein hole kyu?
Sardar bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.

Joke :Santabanta joke

Teacher: Translate – Bazaar mein goliyan chal rahi hain.
Santa: The Tablets are walking in the market.

Joke :Santabanta joke

Santa’s girfriend: Meri maa aapko bahut pasand karti hai.
Santa, after a deep thought: Kuchh bhi ho jaye, shaadi to main tujhse hi karunga!

Joke :Santa banta joke

Santa: Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18 yrs & marriage age 21yrs?
Banta: Govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin biwi ko nahi.

Joke :Santabanta joke

Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho.

Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu.

Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.

Santa: Lekin biwi ko nahi pata.