😃😭😁😢😃😁😁😁😃😜 पापा, मुझे स्कूल छोड़ने आप क्यों आते हो? बाकी सब बच्चों को छोड़ने तो उनकी मम्मी आती हैं!!! पापा: बस बेटा, इसीलिए... 😁😃😜😭😃😁😁😃😃😃
पति: अरे सुनो, मुन्ना रो रहा है चुप कराओ इसे। पत्नी (गुस्से में): मैं काम करू या बच्चे संभालू, मैं इसे दहेज़ में नहीं लायी थी, खुद ही चुप करा लो। पति : फिर रोने दे… मैं कौनसा इसे बारात में लेकर गया था..:)
Here are some best kids jokes -Funny Kids Jokes A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other. “Now listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever yo do to that poor, defenceless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy, “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go” A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you’re the father of one of my kids." Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?" She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I’m your son’s teacher." Ek chota baccha bahut der se ghar ke bahar khada darwaje ki ghanti bajane ki kosish kar raha tha.Toh ek budha aadmi aaya aur kaha: Budha aadmi: Kya kar rahe ho beta? Baccha: Uncle, yeh ghanti bajana chahta hoon. Budha aadmi (ghanti bajake): Yeh lo bajgaya, ab kya hai? Baccha: Ab bhago!
एक क्लास में एक लड़की को सब बुआ-बुआ कहते थे…..✔ एक दिन इस की शिकायत ऊसने अपने टीचर से कर दी…… टीचर ने सब लडको से पूछा …. जो लड़के इस को बुआ कहते है वो सभी खडे हो जाए……. एक लड़के को छोड के सभी खडे हो गये….. टीचर ने पुछा……क्या तुम इस को बुआ नहीं कहते हो … लड़का बोला…… सर मु तो फूफाजी हूँ……..
एक औरत ने तेजी से आ रही बस को हाथ दिखाकर रोका ड्राइवर ने अचानक ब्रेक मारा और पूछा- कहां जाना है औरत बोली- जाना कहीं नहीं है.. बच्चा रो रहा है जरा पों-पों बजा दो.
Teacher and Student Joke : what does the chicken give you? Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
Funny Kids Joke - A child asked his father A child asked his father, "How were people born?" father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
बच्चा school test में fail होकर घर आया. पापा – नालायक ! आज से मुझे पापा मत कहना …. ! बच्चा – हद हो गई … आखिर school test ही तो था कोई DNA test थोड़े ही था !!!
पिता ( बेटे से ) - देखों बेटे , जुआ नहीं खेलते | यह ऐसी आदत हैं कि यदि इसमें आज जीतोगे तो कल हारोगे , परसों जीतोगे तो उससे अगले दिन हार जाओगे | बेटा - बस , पिताजी ! मैं समझ गया , आगे से मैं एक दिन छौड़कर खेला करूंगा |
एक बच्चे ने दूसरे बच्चे से पूछा - क्या तुम चीनी भाषा पढ सकते हो ? दूसरे बच्चे ने कहा - हां , अगर वह हिंदी तथा अंग्रेजी में लिखी हो तो....
छोटी - सी लड़की ने अपनी मां से पूछा - मम्मी , तुमने कहा था ना कि परियों के पंख होते हैं और वह उड़ सकती हैं ना ? मम्मी - हां बेटी , कहा था | लड़की - कल रात डैडी आया को कह रहे थे कि वह तो परी हैं | वह कब उड़ेगी मम्मी ? मम्मी ( छोटी सी लड़की से ) - सुबह होते ही उड़ जाएगी बेटी |
बच्चा - मम्मा क्या मैं भगवान की तरह दिखता हूं ? मम्मी - नहीं , पर तुम ऐसा क्यों पूछ रहे हो बेटा | बच्चा - क्योंकि मम्मा मैं कहीं भी जाता हूं तो सब यही कहते हैं कि हे भगवान फिर आ गया |
Question: “How to kill an ant?Asked in an Exam for 10 Marks!! Student:Mix Chilly Powder with Sugar,& keep It Outside the Ant’s Hole..! After eating, Ant will Search for some Water near a Water tank.Push ant in to it.. =!! Now Ant will go to Dry itself Near Fire,When it Reaches fire, Put a Bomb into D fire..!! Then Admit Wounded Ant in ICU..!! And Then Remove Oxygen Mask from it’s Mouth and Kill the Ant.. !! MORAL: Don’t Play with Students.. !! They can do any thing for 15 Marks..
मास्टर जी ने सरदार स्टूडेंट से पूछे गणित के सवाल मास्टर –दो में से दो गए कितने बचे ? सरदार—समझ में नहीं आया मास्टर जी मास्टर—बेटा समझो तुम्हारे पास दो रोटी हे, तुमने वो दो रोटी खा ली बताओ तुम्हारे पास क्या बचा सरदार– ” सब्जी
New Funny Jokes In English English Whatsapp Jokes, Funny WhatsApp Jokes in English, best collection of WhatsApp veg Jokes in English, English Whatsapp #Jokes Funny Jokes in English The Ugliest Baby A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says, “Ugh! That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” The woman stalks off to the rear of the bus and sits down. She turns to the man sitting next to her and says, “The driver just insulted me!” The man says, “You go and give him a telling off. I’ll hold your monkey for you.” Q: What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter? A: An envelope. Anna: Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant's milk and gained twenty pounds in a week. Ben: That's impossible. Whose baby? Anna: An elephant's. A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine. Officer: You were speeding. Man: No, I wasn't. Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket. Man: But I wasn't speeding. Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.) Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk? Officer: Yes, you would. Man: What if I just thought that you were? Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think. Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk! Are you guys looking for some new funny jokes in English? If yes, you are in the right place. Laughter is the best medicine for your brain and body. New Funny Jokes in English My girlfriend’s birthday is in two days. And she told me “Nothing would make me happier than a diamond ring”. So I bought her nothing! Difference between a beautiful night and a horror night. Beautiful night is, When you hug your teddy bear and sleep. Horror night is, When your teddy bear hugs you BACK. What is love? Love is our 7th sense that destroys all 6 sense And makes the person nonsense. Once all the engineering professors were sitting in one plane. Before the takeoff, one announcement came “This plane is made by your students” Then all the professors stood up, ran and went outside. But the principal was sitting. One guy came and asked, “are you not afraid”? Then the principal replied “I trust my students very well and I am sure the plane won’t even start”. Funny English Joke: Before the problems start! A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before the problems start!” He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, “Give me a beer before the problems start!” The bartender looks confused but gives him another beer. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Now the problems start!" Funny English Joke: Twins A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ‘Amal.’ The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan’. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ”But they are twins. If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.” Couple in a Restaurant - English Joke Husband and wife were having dinner at a fancy restaurant… As the food was served, Husband said: “The Food looks delicious, let’s eat.” Wife: Honey.. You say prayer before eating at home. Husband: That’s at home sweetheart… Here the chef knows how to cook. Wife wants to relax today! Wife: Today, I want to relax, so I have brought three movie tickets. Husband: why three tickets? Wife: you and your parents. Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I’m getting married. I’m sick of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "Hey, I’m getting divorced for the same reasons." Accidents outside work place Employee: Boss, I’ve got married. Can I get a pay rise? Boss: We do not compensate for the accidents that happen outside of the work place. English Joke: Wife Wanted A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." The Perfect Son. A: I have the perfect son. B: Does he smoke? A: No, he doesn’t. B: Does he drink whiskey? A: No, he doesn’t. B: Does he ever come home late? A: No, he doesn’t. B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? A: He will be six months old next Wednesday. ————————- Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet. ————————- A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, “Bow-wow!” The cat ran away. “What was that, Father?” asked Baby Mouse. “Well, son, that’s why it’s important to learn a second language.” ————————- My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. So I asked him “What was the name of his other leg?” ————————- The doctor to the patient: ‘You are very sick’ The patient to the doctor: ‘Can I get a second opinion?’ The doctor again: ‘Yes, you are very ugly too…’ ————————- A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.” The doctor asks, “What do you mean?” The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee – OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.” The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you – you’ve broken your finger!” ————————- Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in…
शिक्षिका – बच्चों वादा करो, “कभी शराब नहीं पीयोंगे…” . बच्चे – “नहीं पीयेंगे…” . शिक्षिका – “कभी सिगरेट नहीं पिओगे…” . बच्चे – “नहीं पियेंगे…” . शिक्षिका – “लड़कियों से दोस्ती नहीं करोंगे…” . बच्चे – “नहीं करेंगे…” . शिक्षिका – “वतन के लिये जान दे दोगे…” . (सारे बच्चे जोर से बोले…) “दे देंगे..” “दे देंगे…” . साली ऐसी जिंदगी का करेंगे भी क्या… !!!
बेटा : पापा आप इंजिनियर कैसे बने ?? . . पापा : बेटा, उसके लिये बहूत दिमाग की ज़रूरत पड़ती हैं अौर बहुत मेहनत से पढा़ई करनी होती है ! . . . बेटा-: हां, जानता हूं, इसीलिये ही तो पूछ रहा हूँ, कि आप इंजिनियर कैसे बने..?? . पापा : ........ 😨😡😠😨 .........दे थप्पड़...😛😛😛
Teacher: bachcho, agar man se praarthanaa kare to bhagwan aapki kwaaish poora karenge. Student: woh sab jhoot hai sir. Teacher: kyu? Student: agar woh sach hota to, ab tak aap doosre school chale jaate
MAA-Beta Apple Khaoge, BETA-Nahi MAA-Beta Mengo Khaoge, BETA-Nahi MAA-Beta Orange Khaoge, BETA-Nahi MAA-Bilkul Baap Par Gaya Hai, Chappal Hi Khayega.
Student ka shandaar jawab – Nice School Joke हिंदी का पीरियड था.. मास्टर ने पूछा: कविता और निबंध मैं क्या अंतर है स्टूडेंट: प्रेमिका के मुंह से निकला एक शब्द भी कविता होता है और पत्नी का एक ही शब्द निबंध के समान होता है मास्टर के आंख मैं आंसू आ गए, गला भर आया.. उन्होने उस लड़के को क्लास का मानीटर बनाया ।