Old Age and Retirement Jokes

Old Age and Retirement Jokes

A 60 year old woman was walking along when she heard a voice from above “You will live to be 100.”

She looked around and didn t see anyone. Again she heard “You will live to be 100.”

Oh! she thought to herself that was the voice of God. I’ve got 40 more years to live!

So off she went to the plastic surgeon. She got everything fixed from head to toe.

When she left the plastic surgeon s office, she got hit by a bus and died and went up to heaven.

She said to God, “You told me I would live to be 100. I was supposed to have had 40 more years. So how come you let the bus kill me?”.

God said, “I didn’t recognize you”.

 

 

Old Age and Retirement Jokes

A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”

“Really,” answered the neighbor . “What kind is it?”

“Twelve thirty.”