हिंदी जोक्स ~ Funny Hindi Jokes

 हिंदी जोक्स ~ Funny Hindi Jokes : चिंटू तुम कल स्कूल क्यों नहीं आए..

 

अध्यापक – चिंटू तुम कल स्कूल क्यों नहीं आए ?

चिंटू – सर , कल मैं सपने में अमरीका चला गया था |

अध्यापक – ठीक है ! पिन्टू तुम क्यों नहीं आए ?

पिन्टू – सर , मैं चिंटू को एयरपोर्ट छोडने गया था |

 

हिंदी जोक्स ~ Funny Hindi Jokes  हम लड़कियां पढ़ाकू होती हैं Padhaku Ladkiya Jokes

लड़की – लड़के तो नालायक होते हैं
हम लड़कियां पढ़ाकू होती हैं

लड़का – लड़के भी किसी से कम नहीं होते

लड़की – लड़कियां आगे हैं

लड़का – अच्छा एक सवाल का जवाब बता

लड़की – हाँ पूछो

लड़का – ऐसी क्या चीज़ है
जो फ्रिज में रखने पर भी गर्म ही रहती है

लड़की – पता नहीं

लड़का – गरम मसाला
देखा हम किसी से कम नहीं

हिंदी जोक्स ~ Funny Hindi Jokes  एक बार एक मरीज डॉक्टर के पास गया…

एक बार एक मरीज डॉक्टर के पास गया और बोला- डॉक्टर साहब ! मुझे एक के दो दिखाई देते हैं |

डॉक्टर ने चश्मा उतारते हुए पूछा – क्या आप चारों को यह बीमारी है?

डॉक्टर का नौकर बोला – यहा तो एक ही मरीज है ,

डॉक्टर- लेकिन मुझे तो ये चार मरीज दिख रहे हैं |

डॉक्टर का नौकर बोला- साहब ! आपको चश्मा उतारते ही चार दिखने की बीमारी जो हैं |

 

हिंदी जोक्स ~ Funny Hindi Jokes   एक छात्र ने गणित के अध्यापक से कहा..

एक छात्र ने गणित के अध्यापक से कहा – सर ! अंग्रेजी के अध्यापक तो अंग्रेजी में बातें करते है | आप भी गणित में बात क्यों नहीं करतें ?

गणित अध्यापक – ज्यादा तीन पांच न कर फोरन नौ -दो ग्यारह हो जा , नहीं तो चार पांच रख दूगां तो छठी का दूध याद आ जाएगा |

 

Funny Rajasthani School Joke

Funny Rajasthani School Joke, Rajasthani School Joke, Funny Rajasthani Joke

स्कूल का निरीक्षण चल रहा था।

निरीक्षक लड़कों से- ‘सावधान’।

कोई हिला तक नहीं।

निरीक्षक- ‘विश्राम’।

सब वैसे ही खड़े रहे।

निरीक्षक-(हेड मास्टर से)
क्या है ये.. इनको इतना भी नहीं आता।

हेडमास्टर- ऐसा नहीं है सर, मैं करवाता हूँ।

हेड मास्टर- ‘सूधा ……सट्ट ।
सब सावधान हो गए।

हेड मास्टर : ‘ढिलो …..धस्स ।
सब विश्राम हो गए।

हेड मास्टर( निरीक्षक से) –
यो राजस्थान छ भाया। तोहार दिल्ली नाही।

निरीक्षक बेहोश। 😀

teacher student chutkule in hindi

Student Teacher Jokes

 

शरारती बच्चा: मास्टरजी एक सवाल पूछें

मास्टर जी: हाँ हाँ पूछो।
बच्चा: हाथी को फ्रीज में कैसे रखेंगे?

मास्टरजी: बेवकूफ, हाथी फ्रीज में नहीं जा सकता है ।
बच्चा:
मास्टरजी फ्रीज बहुत बड़ा है,
पहले फ्रीज खोलेंगे और हाथी को अंदर डाल देंगे

बच्चा: एक सवाल और पूछूँ ।
मास्टरजी: हाँ हाँ पूछो ?
बच्चा: गधे को फ्रीज में कैसे रखेंगे ?
मास्टरजी: पहले फ्रीज खोलेंगे और गधे को उस में रख देंगे ।
बच्चा:
गलत जवाब,
पहले हाथी को बाहर करेंगे
फिर गधे को फ्रीज में रखेंगे

बच्चा: एक सवाल और पूछूँ?
मास्टरजी: हाँ हाँ पूछो ।
बच्चा:
बंदर के जन्मदिन की पार्टी में सभी जानवर एवं जीव-जन्तु आए
परन्तु एक जानवर नहीं आया ।
उसका नाम बतलायें ?

मास्टरजी : शेर नहीं आया होगा क्योंकि वह आता तो सभी को खा जाता !
बच्चा :
फिर गलत जवाब,
गधा पार्टी में नहीं आया
क्योंकि गधे को तो हमने फ्रीज में बंद कर दिया था

बच्चा: एक सवाल और पूछूँ ?
मास्टरजी: (गुस्से से) बोल हरामजादे ।

बच्चा: रास्ते में एक नदी है
जिसमें एक खतरनाक मगरमच्छ रहता है एवं
उस नदी के ऊपर आने-जाने के लिए पुल भी नहीं है,
आप नदी कैसे पार करोगे ?
मास्टरजी: मैं नाव लेकर नदी पार करूंगा !

बच्चा: फिर गलत जवाब ।
मास्टर: बोल, कैसे ?
बच्चा: मास्टरजी इतनी जल्दी नाव कहाँ से आपको मिलेगी,
तबतक तो आप नदी तैरकर भी पार कर लोगे ।

मास्टर: मगरमच्छ से तेरा बाप बचाएगा ?
बच्चा:
मास्टरजी! आपकी इतनी फटती क्यों है?
आपको तो पता है कि सभी जीव-जानवर
बंदर की Birthday पार्टी में गए हुए हैं
तो मगरमच्छ नदी में कैसे आ जाएगा 😀 😛

मास्टरजी बेहोश हो गए

Shivratri Special – Student Teacher Joke

 

छात्र से टीचर ने पूछा बताओ एक साल में कितनी रात्रि होती हे..

छात्र– 10 रात्रि

टीचर — 10 कैसे

छात्र- 9 नवरात्री ओर 1 शिवरात्रि.

टीचर अभी तक कोमा में हे।

Media: Prince, bahar aa kar acha lag raha hai? 

Prince: Kya acha lagega? Andar choclate thi, pastry thi, milk badam tha
Thodi der aur ruk jaate shayad Bipasha bhi aa jati.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —
Jise koyal samjhe, woh kauwa nikla Dosti ke naam par hauwa nikla
Jo roka karte they humein sharab peene se, aaj unki jeb se pauwa nikla
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —
Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo. 
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —
2 bachey jungl main poti ker rehey they achank lione aa geya 
pehla bacha 
chote dar tu nahi raha 
dosra bacha nahi main nahi darta 
pehla bacha tu saley apni doh mari kyun doh raha hai
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —
Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —
Child:papa aunty ka pait kion phola hai?
Father:tujhey sub pata hai!
Child: nahin pata promise!
Father: in k pait main pani bhara hay
CHILD:Oh No! Bacha to doob jaye ga
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —
New Concept of Life
Morning = M_A_N_D_I_R
Evening = M_A_D_I_R_A
Night = M_A_N_D_I_R_A
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —
$: GHAJINI me Aamir Khan Ki Body Itni Jaldi kyon bni
Q K Aamir Khan 1 Bar Jim Jata Tha 15 mint bad bhul jata tha
Phir Dubara Chala Jata tha
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —
1 GADHA tha
Wo Sms Parh Rha Tha
Use Pta Tha k Sender ne Use GADHA Kha Hai
Wo fir b Sms Parh Rha Tha..
Bechara GADHA Jo Tha!
e e e hasa..
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

Students Funny SMS Jokes

Students Funny SMS Jokes – Student Jokes : Read selected sms jokes about Students, and exams. Exam sms / text messages collection, funny exam sms, and exam wishes and greetings sms messages for students in Hindi and English.

Students Funny SMS Jokes

Teacher: Tum Dair se School Q Aye??

Student: Miss, Raasty me Board laga Huwa tha
Jis per Likha Tha,
,
,
,
,
” Aahista Chalen, Aagy School Hai”..

 

Students Funny SMS Jokes

Teacher: What Is The Chemical Formula of Water??

Pathan: HIJKLMNO.

Teacher: What Are U Talking About??

Pathan: Yesterday U Said H to O

 

Students Funny SMS Jokes

History Teacher: From where to where did the Mughals Rule??

Student: Sir I Am not sure,
But I Think From Page 15 to 26…:-)

 

Students Funny SMS Jokes

School me Ek Fail Student k Papa
Class Teacher se:

“Madam, Thora Aap Tight Raho,
Thora Me Zor lagata hun,
Ummeed Hai,
Is Saal Bacha Nikal Hi Jaye Ga

 

Students Funny SMS Jokes

Teacher: “Loffer” Aur “Offer” me Kiya Farq hai??

Student: Simple madam,
Larka “I Love U” Bole to Loffer,
Aur,
Larki “I Love U” Bole to Offer..:-)

 

Students Funny SMS Jokes

Ek Admi Teacher se: Aap In Bachon Se Mere Karobar k liye Dua Kerwa Den?
.
.
Teacher: Agar In ki Dua Qubool Hoti to
Aaj Me Kisi Qabrustan me Dafan hota..:)

 

Students Funny SMS Jokes

BACHON KI MASUMIYAT..
Pappu And Bablu.

Bablu Teacher se: Miss Bus MALE hai ya FEMALE?
.
(Teacher Sochny Lagi)
.
Pappu: Miss, Its Female.
.
Bablu: Wo Kese?
.
Pappu: QK Sab log Us per Charhty hen.
.
(Teacher Pareshan)
.
While
.
Bablu in Doubt
Agar Bus Female hy,
Sab Us per Charhty hen
to uske Bachy Q Nahi Hoty?
.
(Teacher Aur Ziyada Pareshan)
.
Pappu: Is Liye k Sab us per Pichay se Charhty Hen.
.
(Teacher Sharam se Pani pani)
.
Bablu in Doubt:
Mana k Sab hi Pichay se Charhty hen,
Lekin Driver to Agay se Charhta Hai na?
Phir Bachay Q nahi Hoty?
.
(Teacher ki Saans Band)
.
Pappu: QK Wo Topi Pehan k Charhta Hai.
.
Teacher BeHosh…;-p:)

 

 

Students Funny SMS Jokes

Ek Larki Class me Dair se Aai..

Teacher: Tum Dair se Q Aai Ho??

Larki: Miss Ek Larka Mera Peecha Ker Raha Tha.

Teacher: Theek Hai, Per Tum Dair se Q Aai Ho??

Larki: Miss Wo Larka Bohat Ahista Ahista Chal Raha Tha..:-)

Hahaha

 

Students Funny SMS Jokes

In Nursery Class..

Boy: Tu Mujh se Shadi Kalegi?

Girl: Nahi..

Boy: Kalle Na.

Girl: Nahi, Me Nahi kalungi..

Boy: Kalle, Te ko Tophi Dunga.

Girl: Is Liye to Nahi Kalni,
Meri Kisi Aur se
“Kurkure” me Baat Ho Gai hai.

 

Students Funny SMS Jokes

Teacher: School Ki Defination Batao?

Pitu: School Wo Jaga Hai Jahan
Hamaray Papa ko
Loota Jata hai Aur
Hamen Koota jata hai..;-)

 

Students Funny SMS Jokes

Bohat Dard Hota Hai Jab Sir Kehty Hen:

“Tumhara Aur Agay Waly Larky ka Answer Same Tha”

Tab Mann Kerta hai k Bol hi Dun:

“Aray, Question bhi to Same hi Tha”..;-(

 

Students Funny SMS Jokes

A Sweet Ans By Child In School Admission Interview. . .

Teacher:
What’s Ur Mother’s Name?

Kid:
Abi Naam Nai Rakha Hai Bus Pyar Se

“Maa” Kehta Hon..

 

Students Funny SMS Jokes

Pappu ki Hui Master se Laraai,

Master ny ki Pappu ki Pitaai,

Pappu ka Garam hua Khoon,

Gaya Qabrustan aur Master ki photo Tang ker Likh diya,

“Coming Soon”

 

Students Funny SMS Jokes

Principal: Agar koi Larka Larkiyon k Hostel ki Taraf gaya to
Pehli dafa 100 Rupy Jurmana ho ga,
Dusri dafa 200 Rupy,
Aur Teesri Dafa 500 Rupy Jurmana ho ga..

Pappu: Sir, Monthly Package kiya ho ga?…;-p

Hahahaha

Students Funny SMS Jokes

 

 

The most funniest situation in student’s life:
.
When we have no idea what to write in paper and supervisor comes and say “wind up your papers”

 

Teacher: Change this sentence into Future Tense, “I killed a person”
.
Student: The Future tense is “You will go to a jail”

 

Three reasons to give Exams
.
1- You can spend 3 hours in self-medication
2- You can complete your sleep
3- You can see your teacher being bore who normally bores you

 

1 student ne MBA ka form bharty howe ‘Watchman’ se pocha:
Janab ye university kaisi hai?
.
Watchman: Boht achi university hai, Mai ne bhi yahan se MBA kia hai.

 

An interesting statement written above wall-clock in Examination Hall
.
“Time will pass, But will you…….??”

 

“The life is so short even to complete your sleep, I wonder how people find to study”
.
(William kaamchor )

 

Father to son: How did you write your exam?
.
Son: They had asked questions which I didn’t know, so I wrote answer which they will not know

 

Teacher: JAWANI owr BURHAPAY mai kia farq hota hai?
.
Student: JAWANI mai mobile mai HASEENO ke numbers hotay hai, owr BURHAPAY mai HAKEEMO ke

 

“Thousands of words of a teacher don’t hurt but silence of a friend in examination hall brings tears into eyes”
.
(William Cheater)

 

Miss: Aaj tum late kion aye ho? School 7 baje shuru hota hay, itni dair kion ki?
.
Kid: Miss ap mairi itni fikar mat kia karain, log shak karty hain

ues: Wo konsi ek baat hai Jo Students hazaro’n saal pahly bhi kahty tay, Aaj bhi kahty hain, owr Qayamat tak kahty rahengay?
.
Ans: Bus yarr kal se parhayi shuru karunga

 

A Sardar was celebrating the birthday of his son after 6 months
People asked: Sardar Ji log tu 1 saal baad birthday manaty hain, owr ap 6 maheny baad..?
.
Sardar: O jee, hamary han semester system hai

 

Agar Question paper tough lagy
Ya samaj mai aye tu
Ek gahri saans lo, owr zor se chilawo:
.
.
“Kameeno fail hi karna hai tu exam kion laity ho…”

 

Height of HOPE:
Sitting in Examination hall
Holding paper in hand
And saying to yourself
.
.
“Don’t worry man, Exam will be postponed”

 

Teacher: Did u make this poem yourself??
Student: Yes Sir !
Teacher: Nice to meet you, William Shakespeare

 

Small boy: Dad can you write in dark??
.
Father: Yes I can do but what do you want me to write?
.
Small boy: You name on my “result card”

 

Son: Dad why did you put your thumb impression on my Result Card instead of Sign?
.
Father: I don’t want to surprise your teacher to think that anyone with your marks can have father who can read and right

 

Father: Why have you got less marks in History Paper”
.
Son: It is not my fault, they asked questions which had happened before I was born.

 

Baap: Afsoos ke tum imtihan mai fail hogaye !!
.
Beta: Kia karta, sary sawal sood par tay, owr sood haram hai !

 

TALEEM soch samaj kar chora mairy doston
Kionke
.
Khota 30.000 ka
Owr
Reedri 15,000 ke hogia hai

 

Student: Sir Bataya to ttha Light nahi thi

  • Teacher: Homework Kyun nahi Kiya?

Student: Sir, Light nahi Thi

Teacher: To MomBatti Jala

Lete …

Student: Sir, Maachis nahi Thi

Teacher: Machis Kyun nahi thi

Student: Pooja ghar me rakhi thi.

Teacher: To Wahan Se Le Aate

Student: Nahaya Hua nahitha

Teacher: Nahaye Kyun nahi thi.

Student: Pani Nahi Tha Sir.

Teacher: Pani Kyu Nahi Tha?

Student: Sir Motor Nahi Chal Rahi Thi.

Teacher: Ullu Ke Pathe Motor Kyun Nahi Chal Rahi

Thi ?

Student: Sir Bataya to ttha Light nahi thi

How to kill an ant?Asked in an Exam for 10 Marks!! Student Joke

  • Question: “How to kill an ant?Asked in an Exam for 10 Marks!!

Student:Mix Chilly Powder with  Sugar,& keep It Outside the Ant’s Hole..! After eating, Ant will Search for some Water near a Water tank.Push ant in to it.. =!! Now Ant will go to Dry itself Near Fire,When it Reaches fire, Put a Bomb into D fire..!! Then Admit Wounded Ant in ICU..!!  And Then Remove Oxygen Mask from it’s Mouth and Kill the Ant.. !!

MORAL:

Don’t Play with Students.. !!

They can do any thing for 15 Marks..

English Whatsapp #Jokes 2016

2017 English Whatsapp Jokes , Funny WhatsApp Jokes in English, best collection of  WhatsApp Jokes in English, English Whatsapp #Jokes

Funny English Joke: The Ugliest Baby

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says, “Ugh! That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.”

The woman stalks off to the rear of the bus and sits down. She turns to the man sitting next to her and says, “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says, “You go and give him a telling off. I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

Funny English Joke: Before the problems start!

A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before the problems start!”

He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, “Give me a beer before the problems start!”

The bartender looks confused but gives him another beer.

This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, “When are you going to pay for these beers?”

The man answers, “Now the problems start!”

 

Funny English Joke:  Twins

 

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ‘Amal.’

The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan’. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, ”But they are twins. If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”

Couple in a Restaurant – English Joke

Husband and wife were having dinner at a fancy restaurant…

As the food was served, Husband said:
“The Food looks delicious, let’s eat.”

Wife: Honey.. You say prayer before eating at home.
Husband: That’s at home sweetheart… Here the chef knows how to cook.

Wife wants to relax today!

Wife:
Today, I want to relax,
so I have brought three movie tickets.

Husband: why three tickets?

Wife: you and your parents. 😀

 

Two men are discussing their lives. One says, “I’m getting married. I’m sick of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear.” The other one says, “Hey, I’m getting divorced for the same reasons.”


Accidents outside work place

Employee: Boss, I’ve got married. Can I get a pay rise?

Boss: We do not compensate for the accidents that happen outside of the work place.


English Joke: Wife Wanted

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.” Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”


The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
————————-
Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet.
————————-
A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, “Bow-wow!” The cat ran away. “What was that, Father?” asked Baby Mouse. “Well, son, that’s why it’s important to learn a second language.”
————————-
My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
So I asked him “What was the name of his other leg?”
————————-
The doctor to the patient: ‘You are very sick’
The patient to the doctor: ‘Can I get a second opinion?’
The doctor again: ‘Yes, you are very ugly too…’
————————-
A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.”
The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”
The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee – OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.”
The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you – you’ve broken your finger!”
————————-
Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.
————————-
Patient: Doctor! You’ve got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
Doctor: Next please!
————————-
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”

One boy answers, “We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
————————-
Customer: Excuse me, but I saw your thumb in my soup when you were carrying it.
Waitress: Oh, that’s okay. The soup isn’t hot.

English Whatsapp Jokes , Funny WhatsApp Jokes in English, best collection of  WhatsApp Jokes in English

“No I just wanted to make sure u got my 1st message.”

Husband sent a text to wife at night,
“Hi I will get late, plz try and wash all my dirty clothes
And make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return.”
He sent another text, “I forgot to tell u that I got an increase in
My salary at the end of month I’m getting u a new car”
She text back, “Omg really?”
Husband Replied: “No I just wanted to make sure u got my 1st msg.”

 

A man is in a hotel lobby – English Joke

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled and he says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.” She replies, “if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 1221.”

 

A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, “Honey, if I died would you get married again?” The husband said, “No sweetie.” The woman said, “I’m sure you would.” So the man said, “Okay, I would” Then the woman asked, “Would you let her sleep in our bed?” And the man replied, “Ya, I guess so.” Then the wife asked, “Would you let her use my golf clubs?” And the husband replied, “No, she’s left handed.”

Top Funny Jokes for English

 

Husband brings the child home from kindergarten and asks his wife, “He’s been crying the whole way home. Isn’t he sick or something?” “No,” replies the wife, “he was just trying to tell you he isn’t our son John”

 

Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, “Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site.”

 

As a couple gets into bed, the husband starts to rub and kiss his wife. She turns over and says, “I’m sorry, honey. I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh.” The husband sadly turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife. “Do you have a dentist appointment, too?

English Whatsapp Jokes , Funny WhatsApp Jokes in English, best collection of  WhatsApp Jokes in English

 

On their 25th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Joseph was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. “Tell us Joseph, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?” Joseph responds, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness — and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you’d stayed single.”

 

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.” Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

 

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

 

 

 

 

Teacher Student Jokes in Hindi – वतन के लिये जान दे देंगे

शिक्षिका – बच्चों वादा करो,
“कभी शराब नहीं पीयोंगे…”
.
बच्चे – “नहीं पीयेंगे…”
.
शिक्षिका – “कभी सिगरेट नहीं पिओगे…”
.
बच्चे – “नहीं पियेंगे…”
.
शिक्षिका – “लड़कियों से दोस्ती नहीं करोंगे…”
.
बच्चे – “नहीं करेंगे…”
.
शिक्षिका – “वतन के लिये जान दे दोगे…”
.
(सारे बच्चे जोर से बोले…)
“दे देंगे..”
“दे देंगे…”
.
साली ऐसी जिंदगी का करेंगे भी क्या… !!!

A Tribute to a Teacher

I’m a teacher…………..
Behind that doctor,
Is me, a teacher………..
Behind that economist,
Is me, a teacher……….
Above those astronomers,
Is me, a teacher…………..

I carry the light even though they mostly make jokes of me………..

But i am a teacher……..

I don’t qualify for a RDP house nor earn enough to buy an expensive House/ Car………….like Corrupt Officers n Corrupt Politician.

But yes, i am a teacher………..

Some think or even say that i have too many holidays, never knowing that i spend those holidays either correcting papers or planning what and how I’m going to teach when i go back to school/College/Institution……..
Because i am a teacher..,

Sometimes i get confused and even get stressed by the ever changing policies over what and how i have to teach…….

Despite all that i am a teacher and i love to teach and i’m teaching………….

On pay days i don’t laugh as Corrupt Officers n others do, but by the next day i love to come with a smile to those that i teach………..
Because i’m a teacher….

The main source of my satisfaction is when i see THEM growing, succeeding, having all those assets, bravely facing the world and its challenges,
and i say yes i’ve taught in spite of living in a world opened by Google..

Because i am a teacher….
Yes i am a teacher……..
It doesn’t matter how they look at me,

It doesn’t matter how much more they earn than I DO,

It doesn’t matter that they drive while I walk
because all what they have is through me,
A teacher…
Whether they acknowledge me or not……

I am a teacher….

Pass this to all the teachers n make them proud  of their career.🎓🎓
Dedicated to all the amazing teachers 👏

Student Teacher Jokes Jokes

Student Teacher Jokes Jokes : Ghor Kalyug, Who Was Akbar?

Teacher: Who was Akbar ?
Boy: Akbar was Gay.

Teacher:- What, Are you mad ? Why did you say that?

Boy:-
We have heard
Laila – Majnu,
Heer -Ranjha,
Soni- Mahival,
Romeo-Juliet

But Only
Akbar – Birbal !

Teacher fainted!!

 

Student Teacher Jokes

A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!

The student wrote 5 and stopped.

teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don’t know which side to write the other 5!

Student ka shandaar jawab – Nice School Joke

Student ka shandaar jawab – Nice School Joke

हिंदी का पीरियड था..

मास्टर ने पूछा:
कविता और निबंध मैं क्या अंतर है

स्टूडेंट:
प्रेमिका के मुंह से निकला एक शब्द भी कविता होता है
और
पत्नी का एक ही शब्द निबंध के समान होता है

मास्टर के आंख मैं आंसू आ गए,
गला भर आया..
उन्होने उस लड़के को क्लास का मानीटर बनाया ।

 

Teacher Student Jokes, Hindi Teacher Student Jokes

Intelligent Student ka dhansu jawaab

टीचर छात्र से:
आयात और निर्यात का एक अच्छा सा उदाहरण बताओ.

छात्र:
सोनिया गांधी और सानिया मिर्ज़ा..

टीचर:
तुम्हारे चरण कहाँ हैं बेटा ।

 


Gaanv ke School ke bachche

गाँव के एक विद्यालय से….

अध्यापक: 15th अगस्त को हमे क्या मिली थी ?

छात्र: माड़साहब….”नुक्ति”

……….

अगर सही जवाब आपको भी नह पता,
तो मैं बताता हूँ!

– आज़ादी


When Raju asked his friend Ramu to tell the exam result in code words – (Very funny joke in Hindi)

Raju ne apne dost Ramu se kahaa – “yaar tu college se mera result dekh kar aana aur mujhe ghar par aakar bataa jaana,

par dekh, ghar par mere mommy-papa honge isliye,

agar main 1 subject mein fail hua to kehna – Jai Shri Ram

agar main 2 subject mein fail hua to kehna – Jai Shri Krishna

agar main 3 subject mein fail hua to kehna – Brahma Vishnu Mahesh kee Jai …

Bas main samajh jaauunga … OK !

.

.

Shaam ko Ramu result dekh kar Raju ke ghar aaya aur bola – “BOLO SAARE DEVI-DEVTAAO KI JAI !”


 

Bhopali Student Answers in the class

Madam – Surya ke paas kaunsa planet hai ?

Bhopali Student – Ek minute bata riya hoon …

Madam – Jaldi bataao ?

Bhopali Student – Bata riya hoon, Mar-Kyuun-Ree (Mercury) hai ?

Madam – Shabash, Baith jaao …


Netaji Ka beta Medical College Mein

Ek netaji ke bete ka admission medical college mein ho gaya.

Pahle hi din professor ne poochha – “agar koi vyakti behosh ho jaaye to kya karoge ?”

Netaji ka beta – “use thoda paani pilaane kee koshish karuunga …”

Professor – “aur agar paani na mile to ?”

Netaji ka beta – “to aashvaasan hee de duunga ki tumhe jaldi hi paani pilaya jaayega … !”