Funny Doctor Patient Jokes

Browse Funny Doctor Patient Jokes,  Here you will find Doctor-patient jokes those will make you laugh.

latest Doctor Jokes in Hindi including Funny Doctor Patient Jokes, Funny Jokes on Doctor and Patient, Hindi Doctor Jokes, Funny Doctor Jokes are the funniest jokes about bumbling nurses, silly patients and forgetful doctors. This is a category of joke that most will be able to associate with.

Joke :Doctor patient joke

Patient: Doctor, You Must Help Me. 
I Keep Losing My Temper With People.
Doctor: Tell Me About Your Problem. 
Patient: I Just Did, You Stupid Bastard.  

Joke :Doctor patient joke

The New England Journal Of Medicine 
Reports That... !
"9 Out Of 10 Doctors Agree That 1 Out
Of 10 Doctors Is An Idiot..." 

Joke : Doctor patient joke

 
Doctor to a rich man: Do you prefer a 
local anesthesia?
Rich man: I would rather prefer an 
imported one. 

Joke :Doctor patient joke

    
Doctor: Have you ever fainted before?
Patient: Yes, the last time you told
me your fees.

Joke : Doctor patient joke

  
Patient: What is the cost of plastic 
surgery?
Doctor: It is near about 10,000$.
Patient: Well, what if we arrange the 
plastic?

Funny Joke :Doctor patient joke

Man: "Doctor, Doctor! My wooden leg is
giving me a headache!"
Doctor: "Why?"
Man: "Because my wife keeps hitting me 
on the head with it." 

Joke :Doctor patient joke

Doctor:What happened to you ?
PATIENT:I am going to die in a minute.
DOCTOR:wait I am coming with in five minutes. 

Joke :Doctor patient joke

Doctor: Liquor is a slow poison for you.
Patient: It’s all-right. I’m not in a hurry. 

Joke :Doctor patient joke

Doctor:What happened to you ?
PATIENT:I am going to die in a minute.
DOCTOR:wait I am coming with in five minutes. 

Joke :Doctor patient joke

Doctor: I have some bad news and some
 very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me 
the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test 
results. They said you have 24 hours 
to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible! 
WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you
since yesterday. 

Joke :Doctor patient joke

Patient: I always see spots before my
eyes.
Doctor: Didn't the new glasses help?
Patient: Sure, now I see the spots 
much clearer.  

Joke :Doctor patient joke

A crazy patient went to the doctor and
asked, " If a toothless dog bites me
what treatment you would do?''
Doctor- " Nothing I would give you a
needleless injection"  

Joke :Doctor patient joke

A person goes to the doctor with his 
3 year son.
Person: - Doctor, my son has swallowed 
a key, so we came to you.
Doctor:- When did he swallowed a key.
Person:- 10 days back.
Doctor:- And you are coming to me now,
after 10 days.
Person:- We had a duplicate key, but
today it is lost.  

Funny Joke : Doctor patient joke

Patient - Doctor, doctor, everyone 
keeps ignoring me.
Doctor - Next please!

Operation Ke Baad Patient Bola joke

Operation Ke Baad Patient Bola: Doctor Sahab! Kya Ab Main ROG MUKT Hun?
Samne Se Jawab Mila: Beta! Doctor Sahab Toh Dharti Par Rah Gaye, Main Toh CHITR GUPT Hun!!!

 

Beej to Bhindi ke dale the par Joke

एक मरीज डॉक्टर के पास गया।
मरीज-डॉक्टर साहब मेरे कान में मटर का पौधा उग आया है।
डॉक्टर- यह तो बड़ी हैरानी की बात है!
मरीज-जी हां डॉक्टर साहब हैरानी की बात तो है ही क्योंकि मैंने तो अपने कान में भिन्डी के बीज डाले थे!!!


 

 

Aap Parchi Me Aisa Kya Likhte Ho funny jokes

 

Ek admi Dr. Se-
Aap Parchi Me Aisa Kya Likhte Ho
jo Sirf Medical Store Wale Ko Hi Samajh Me aata hai

Dr.: main likhta hu….
“Maine Loot Liya Hai Tu Bhi Loot Le..”


 

 

Nurse and Patient Joke 
Patient:Nurse Moojhe EKDAM potti nahi aati,Chawal khaya to chawal nikle,Roti khaye

to roti,normal ke liye kya karu?

Nurse:PoTTI KHA!!!!


 

 

Funny Doctor Cinema Joke
Agar Doctor na film banane start kar di to film ka nam hoga-

Paralyzed ho na ho
Hum blood de chukka sanam
Mari yaar keendscopy hai
Kaho naDiabeteshai
Hash ap hamara patient hoti
Pregnant banayaapna
Kabhi ICU Kabhi CCU
Hamara stethoscope apke pas hai
Operation to hona hi tha
Phir haddi fracture
Om surgery Om
Hypertension for you.


 

 

Hindi Doctor Joke
Patient  Doctor  ko bola –> Doctor  Sahab  Mujhe Dur  Ka Nazar Nahi atahai..

Doctor na kaha– > Wo Asmaan  Par Kia Hai?

Mareez –> wo Suraj hai

Doctor > Aabay  andhay  is  s e duur kia  khudha ko dekhaga keya..!


 

 

Doctor Patient Joke in Hindi 
Patient: Docter Sab, mujhe bhool janey ki bemari hai

Doctor: Aap ko ye bemari kab se hai?

Mareez: Konsi bemari. . .
Then Doctor give a prescription to the patient
Kus samay bad—-
Mareez : doctor sab a  dawai  to kahin se nahi mil rahi

Doctor: oo ho.. dawai likhna to hum bhol hi gaya ye to hamara signature hai:-


 

Doctor Hindi Joke 
Kaya hai a daily life jara dekha jai–
husband: “Mujhay Janwaron k Doctor k paas lay chalo”
Wife: “kon hai wo?”
husband: “Roz Subah Murghay ki tarah uthta  hoon;
Ghoray ki tarah bhaag k Office jata hoon;
Gadhay ki tarah kaam karta hoon;
Ghar  a ke  sab par Kuttay ki tarah bhonkta hoon;
Aur Raat ko Bhains k sath so jata hoon..


 

Funny Doctor Joke in Hindi
Doctor:bolo apki husband ki keya problem hai?

Bibi:wo khub durbal hai.

Doctor:usko besi besi karke dud khawan.

Bibi:maine to dudh khane ke lyee magar wo to tipta hai.


 

 

Patient and Doctor Joke in Hindi 
Admi:maine bohut dinse cigarette chodne ke liee kosis karta raha hum agar nahi parta hu.

Doctor:jaldi petrol pump par koi job le lijie ga.


 

Doctor Joke
Bibi:meri pati mujhko khub jalati hai.

Doctor: usko tin file gum ki tablet khate dena.

Bibi: toh wo to mar jayega?

Doctor:toh uski valo ghum hoga aur aap vi chainse nind parna,magar bichane par nahi kabar par.


 

 

Hindi Comedy Doctor Joke
Admi:main eek problem le kar problem par hai,keyaa aap bolna paroge wo problem keyaa hai?

Doctor:tumhara problem hai ki ye koi problem nahi hai.


 

Doctor Nurse Joke in Hindi
Nurse: aur rogi de kar keya karega? Operation kar ke to sushtho admi ko osushtho kar deta hai aap.
Doctor: iss problem solve karne ke lieehi to aur rogi dorkar practice karne ke liee!!!


 

 

Hilarious Doctor Joke in Hindi
Doctor ane se pehle rogi mar gaye”-iske English keya hay?
Very simple- “Innlillahi wa innalillhir rajiun”.


 

 

Hindi Doctor Funny Joke
Ek doctor ke pas gaya Rohan aur dekha 4 dollar ke binimoye baccha valo hota hay.

Rohan: wo keyse?

Doctor: tumhare bibi ko rakh jao aur 4 dollar de jao 4 din ke lie, guarantee hai tumhara
Baccha kala nahi hoga.


 

 

Funny Hindi Doctor Patient Joke
Doctor ki vul report me ek husband uski wife se kaha
Bola tha na tum upar raho aur mein niche rahu to tum pregnant nahi hota.


 

 

Hindi Doctor Joke
Ek admi bohot bemar tha,uske paribar ke log doctor ke pas le gaya
Doctor: e to mar gaya..
Patient: bahar ho kar, uski paribar se bola, doctor ne keya bola?
Paribar: chup karo tum to mar gaya, tumhare dafnake ata hu


 

 

सरकारी अस्पताल… मरीज- उफ!! ..

सरकारी अस्पताल… मरीज- उफ!! ऐसी बीमारी से तो मर जाना अच्छा है… डॉक्टर- हम पूरी कोशिश कर तो रहे हैं। –


 

 

डॉक्टर- तुम रोज सुबह क्लिनिक के बाहर …

डॉक्टर- तुम रोज सुबह क्लिनिक के बाहर खड़े होकर औरतों को क्यों घूरते हो? बंटी- जी आपने ही लिखा है, ‘औरतों को देखने का समय सुबह 9 बजे से 11 बजे तक!’ –


 

 

नर्सऔरडॉक्टर Joke SMS in Hindi

 

संता – यार जब मैं ऑपरेशन कराने गया तो
मैं बुरी तरह डर गया था,
बंता – क्यों ?
संता – नर्स बोल रही थी कि
घबराओ मत, डरो मत हिम्मत रखो,
जो होगा देखा जायेगा,
बंता – अबे तो इसमें डरने की क्या बात है?
संता -अबे वो ये डॉक्टर को बोल रही थी


 

 

Funny medical jokes – Smile

A note on dentists’ door: “Smile. You might be doing this for the last time”.

Medical jokes – Examination
A young guy comes to a doctor. After examination the doctor says:
– So, we will have to cut one of your lungs.
The guy is astonished and tells:
– But doctor, my lungs have always been great, I have never had any problems with them.
– I see it myself. But your liver have no room anymore.