Best Happy birthday quotes and sayings I hope your special day will bring you lots of happiness, love and fun. You deserve them a lot. Enjoy! Have a wonderful birthday. I wish your every day to be filled with lots of love, laughter, happiness and the warmth of sunshine. May your coming year surprise you with the happiness of smiles, the feeling of love and so on. I hope you will find plenty of sweet memories to cherish forever. Happy birthday. On your special day, I wish you good luck. I hope this wonderful day will fill up your heart with joy and blessings. Have a fantastic birthday, celebrate the happiness on every day of your life. Happy Birthday!! May this birthday be filled with lots of happy hours and also your life with many happy birthdays, that are yet to come. Happy birthday. Happy Birthday to a person that’s charming, talented and witty, and reminds me a lot of myself. A birthday is a most special day in one’s life. Enjoy yours to its fullest. It’s your birthday and you’re still just as beautiful, genuine and kind as the day I met you. Wishing you a Happy Birthday with gratitude. My birthday wish for you is that you continue to love life and never stop dreaming. May beauty and happiness surround you, not only on your special day, but always. Special day, special person and special celebration. May all your dreams and desires come true in this coming year. Happy birthday. You are my true friend. You were always with me, you supported me, you boosted me up when I was down. Thanks for being such a friend of mine. Happy birthday. Let your all the dreams to be on fire and light your birthday candles with that. Have a gorgeous birthday. I wish you a wonderfulBirthday!! I hope you have an amazing day and lots of fun! Enjoy this day, you deserve it!
Weight Matters A wife walks into the bathroom. Her husband is standing on the scale, sucking in his gut. She knows he’s trying to lose weight. She says, “Honey, I doubt if that’s going to help.” He replies, “Of course it helps. This way I can see the numbers.”
Marriage one liners, one liners joke, short joke, marraige joke Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number? My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Childs experience: if a mother is laughing at the fathers jokes, it means they have guests. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. I need to start paying closer attention to stuff. Found out today my wife and I have separate names for the cat. By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewellery. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. (Benjamin Franklin) My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, 'There's water in the carburettor'. I said, 'Where's the car?' She said, 'In the lake.' Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. Brigands demand your money or your life, women require both. Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day. Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that... 'This conversation will be recorded for Training and Quality purpose' I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months- I don't like to interrupt her. Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. What's the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck. I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married they send over a lady in a housecoat and curlers to burn my toast for me. My wife is a light eater ... as soon as it's light, she starts to eat. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' The other replied, 'Yes, I am, I married the wrong man. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.' The husband replied, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her. Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends. A husband said to his wife, 'No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine. A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, 'OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death. How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free. A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. hat's the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me. You should argue with your wife only when she's not around. My husband is on the roof - only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life. You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets. My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. Husbands are like fires, they go out when unattended. It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. I never mind my wife having the last word. In fact, I'm delighted when she gets to it.
Intelligent Student ka dhansu jawaab टीचर छात्र से: आयात और निर्यात का एक अच्छा सा उदाहरण बताओ. छात्र: सोनिया गांधी और सानिया मिर्ज़ा.. टीचर: तुम्हारे चरण कहाँ हैं बेटा । Gaanv ke School ke bachche गाँव के एक विद्यालय से…. अध्यापक: 15th अगस्त को हमे क्या मिली थी ? छात्र: माड़साहब….”नुक्ति” ………. अगर सही जवाब आपको भी नह पता, तो मैं बताता हूँ! – आज़ादी When Raju asked his friend Ramu to tell the exam result in code words – (Very funny joke in Hindi) Raju ne apne dost Ramu se kahaa – “yaar tu college se mera result dekh kar aana aur mujhe ghar par aakar bataa jaana, par dekh, ghar par mere mommy-papa honge isliye, agar main 1 subject mein fail hua to kehna – Jai Shri Ram agar main 2 subject mein fail hua to kehna – Jai Shri Krishna agar main 3 subject mein fail hua to kehna – Brahma Vishnu Mahesh kee Jai … Bas main samajh jaauunga … OK ! . . Shaam ko Ramu result dekh kar Raju ke ghar aaya aur bola – “BOLO SAARE DEVI-DEVTAAO KI JAI !” Bhopali Student Answers in the class Madam – Surya ke paas kaunsa planet hai ? Bhopali Student – Ek minute bata riya hoon … Madam – Jaldi bataao ? Bhopali Student – Bata riya hoon, Mar-Kyuun-Ree (Mercury) hai ? Madam – Shabash, Baith jaao … Netaji Ka beta Medical College Mein Ek netaji ke bete ka admission medical college mein ho gaya. Pahle hi din professor ne poochha – “agar koi vyakti behosh ho jaaye to kya karoge ?” Netaji ka beta – “use thoda paani pilaane kee koshish karuunga …” Professor – “aur agar paani na mile to ?” Netaji ka beta – “to aashvaasan hee de duunga ki tumhe jaldi hi paani pilaya jaayega … !”
Bahu ka Affair Bahu Ka Pahila Affair Sunne Ke Baad Sasur Ne Bahu Ko Mara! Dusra Afair Pata Lagne Par Pati Ne Mara Lekin Saas Har Bar Chup Rahi Kyun?? Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi..!! ——————————————– Pagal Bahu Saas Bahu Se:Aaj Se Tum Muje MAA Or Saaur Ko PAPA Kehna Bahu:Samajh Gai Sham Ko uska Pati Ghar Aya 2 Boli: Maa! Bhaiyya Ghar Aa gaye hai.. ——————————————– Saas ki kamjor aankhe Saas (bahu se): Bhagwan ne tumhe 2-2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 pathhar nahi nikal sakti kya. Bahu: Very funny! Bhagwan ne tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 pathhar bhi nahi chaba sakti ? ——————————————– Bahu ka Saas se sawal Dekho Saasu maa Sabhi kahte hai yeh tumare ghar ki bahu hai !! Koi yeh kyun nahi kahta ki yeh tumare ghar ki bahu ks ghar hai
Ek Admi Ne Apni Saas Ke paas Saanp ko Baithe Dekha Aadmi-Meri Saas Ko Dass Lo. Saanp-Abay Kya Dass loon Main To Khud Is Se Zehar EASY LOAD Kerwane Aata Hoon. शादी के बाद पहली बार बहू रसोई मे गई और रेसिपी बुक में पढ़कर खाना बना रही थी । सास बाहर से घर लौटी, फ्रिज खोला, अन्दर देखकर चकराई और पूछा: "ये मन्दिर का घण्टा फ्रिज में क्यों रखा है ?" बहू : "किताब में लिखा है, सब चीजों का मिश्रण कर लें और एक घण्टा फ्रिज में रखें ।" 😄😂 Another graduate from IIN..
SANTA:Lalaji dettol soap hai, Lala:ha, santa:acha vala hai, Lala:ha, Santa: achi quality ka hai, Lala:ha bhai ha, Santa: thik hai hath dhokr 1kg aata do.. Santa: Sharab pite pite rone laga Banta: Kya hua kyo ro rahe ho? Santa: Yaar ki kara jis ladki ko bhulane k liye pi raha tha,uska naam yaad nhi aa raha hai Santa 2 doctor-apne kaha tha ki subah khelne se sehat thik rehti hai pr muje to koi fark nai pada? doctor-konsa game khelteho? santa-mobile mai snake wala Banta Cigratte pe 2 metre pipe laga kr pe raha tha. Santa : Tu pipe laga kar cig Q pe raha hai Banta: Doctor ne kaha, Cig-Bidi se dur rehna.
अक्ल बाटने लगे विधाता, लंबी लगी कतारें । सभी आदमी खड़े हुए थे, कहीं नहीं थी नारें । सभी नारियाँ कहाँ रह गई. था ये अचरज भारी । पता चला ब्यूटी पार्लर में, पहुँच गई थी सारी। मेकअप की थी गहन प्रक्रिया, एक एक पर भारी । बैठी थीं कुछ इंतजार में, कब आएगी बारी । उधर विधाता ने पुरूषों में, अक्ल बाँट दी सारी । ब्यूटी पार्लर से फुर्सत पाकर, जब पहुँची सब नारी । बोर्ड लगा था स्टॉक ख़त्म है, नहीं अक्ल अब बाकी । रोने लगी सभी महिलाएं , नींद खुली ब्रह्मा की । पूछा कैसा शोर हो रहा है, ब्रह्मलोक के द्वारे ? पता चला कि स्टॉक अक्लका, पुरुष ले गए सारे । ब्रह्मा जी ने कहा देवियों , बहुत देर कर दी है । जितनीभी थी अक्ल वो मैंने, पुरुषों में भर दी है । लगी चीखने महिलाये , ये कैसा न्याय तुम्हारा? कुछ भी करो हमें तो चाहिए. आधा भाग हमारा । पुरुषो में शारीरिक बल है, हम ठहरी अबलाएं । अक्ल हमारे लिए जरुरी , निज रक्षा कर पाएं । सोचकर दाढ़ी सहलाकर , तब बोले ब्रह्मा जी । एक वरदान तुम्हे देता हूँ , अब हो जाओ राजी । थोड़ी सी भी हँसी तुम्हारी , रहे पुरुष पर भारी । कितना भी वह अक्लमंद हो, अक्ल जायेगी मारी । एक औरत ने तर्क दिया, मुश्किल बहुत होती है। हंसने से ज्यादा महिलाये, जीवन भर रोती है । ब्रह्मा बोले यही कार्य तब, रोना भी कर देगा । औरत का रोना भी नर की, अक्ल हर लेगा । एक अधेड़ बोली बाबा , हंसना रोना नहीं आता । झगड़े में है सिद्धहस्त हम, खूब झगड़ना भाता । ब्रह्मा बोले चलो मान ली, यह भी बात तुम्हारी । झगडे के आगे भी नर की, अक्ल जायेगी मारी । ब्रह्मा बोले सुनो ध्यान से, अंतिम वचन हमारा । तीन शस्त्र अब तुम्हे दिए. पूरा न्याय हमारा । इन अचूक शस्त्रों में भी, जो मानव नहीं फंसेगा ।निश्चित समझो, उसका घर नहीं बसेगा । कहे कवि मित्र ध्यान से, सुन लो बात हमारी । बिना अक्ल के भी होती है, नर पर नारी भारी।
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