Arvind Kejriwal Jokes , Arvind Kejriwal Hindi jokes

Arvind Kejriwal Jokes , Arvind Kejriwal Hindi jokes

एक बालक जिद पर अड़ गया

बोला की “मिर्ची” खाऊंगा…

घरवालों ने बहुत समझाया पर नहीं माना !!

हार कर उसके गुरु जी को बुलाया गया। वे जिद तुड़वाने में महारथी थे…..

गुरु के आदेश पर “मिर्ची” मंगवाई गई.

उसे प्लेट में परोस बालक के सामने रख गुरु बोले, ले खा…

बालक मचल गया.. बोला-

“तली हुई खाऊंगा..”

गुरु ने “मिर्ची” तलवाई और दहाड़े, “ले अब चुपचाप खा..”

बालक फिर गुलाटी मार गया
और बोला, आधी खाऊंगा…..

“मिर्ची” के दो टुकड़े किये गये..
बालक गुरुजी से बोला,
पहले आप खाओ….

गुरु ने आंख नाक भींच किसी तरह आधी “मिर्ची” निगली…

गुरु के “मिर्ची” निगलते ही बालक दहाड़ मार कर रोने लगा की आप तो वो टुकड़ा खा गये जो मुझे खाना था..

गुरु ने धोती सम्भाली और वहां से भाग निकले,
करना-धरना कुछ नहीं,
नौटंकी दुनिया भर की…

वो ही बालक बड़ा होकर “” के नाम से मशहुर हुआ…

Mirza Ghalib Hindi Jokes – किसी ने मिर्ज़ा ग़ालिब से पूछा

किसी ने मिर्ज़ा ग़ालिब से पूछा,

आपके ख्याल में मोहब्बत शादी से पहले होनी चाहिए या शादी के बाद..??

मिर्ज़ा साहब ने फ़रमाया…

मोहब्बत शादी से पहले हो,
या शादी के बाद,

मगर बीवी को इसकी हवा भी नहीं लगनी चाहिए..!!


Saas Bahu Jokes, Best Saas Bahu Hindi jokes

Saas Bahu Jokes, Best Saas Bahu Hindi jokes

 Saas Bahu Ki Tu Tu Mein Mein

Saas Bahu se : Uthh jaa kambakht… Dekh Suraj kabka nikal aay hai.

Bahu : Hey.. Relax mom.. Woh sota bhi toh mujhse pehle hai..


Saas Bahu Jokes :Saas and bahu arguments

Saas:khude ne tujhe 2 ankhain di hain
tu chawal se pathar nahi nikal sakti?

Bahu:Khuda ne aapko 32 dant diye hain,
2-4 pathar nahin chaba saktien?


Kyon ke saas bhe kabhi bahu thee

BAHU K 1-2 affair sunne k baad sasur ne suicide karli
3-4 k baadpati ne suicide kar li,

magar SAAS chup rahi.




Saas Bahu Jokes :Mere dil mae aaj kya hai

Bahu: Mere dil mae aaj kya hai… Tu kahe tou meh bata doon Teri jhotti mae nhuaa doon Teri poli mae buhaa roon Tera seet, or nooni ghee bhi Tu kahe tou mae sambhaloon!

Saas: Tujhe kya suna oon bahu meri Tere saamne mera haal hae Meri bhains tujhe pukaarey Meri bachhiya kyun jugaaley Mere jawaar bajre ke khet bhi Tere dhaatey ki rah gujaren Tera bitoda tujhko bulaae Teri bilowany bhi gungunaae Yo gandasa keh raha hae


Saas Bahu Jokes :Saas Bahu ka payar

Ek ghar me saas-bahu bahot pyar se rehte the.. Ek baar ghar me ek guest aya..

bahu ne saas ko uss guest se baat karte suna.. saas keh rhi thi ‘Beti shakkar ki tarah hoti hai

aur bahu namak ki tarah’.. ye sun kar bahu ko bahot bura laga.. wo udas rehne lagi.. jab saas ko

is baat ka pata chala to bahu se kaaran puchha.. bahu ne kaaran bataya. Tab saas ne hans kar kaha

‘uss baat ka matlab he.. beti shakkar ki tarah hoti h jo har haal me mithi lagti h… jabki bahu namak ki tarah hoti h jiska karz nhi

Funny One Liners to Make You Laugh, Funniest One-Liner Jokes

The Funniest One-Liner Jokes, Here are the funniest One Liner Jokes, A Collection of Funny One-Liners to Make You Laugh

1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

4. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.

5. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

6. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

7. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

8. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

9. If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

10. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

11. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

12. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

13. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

14. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

15. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

16. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

17. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

18. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

19. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

20. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

21. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong…

22. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

23. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

24. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

25. If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

50 funniest jokes of all time, Best all time jokes


50 funniest jokes of all time, Best all time jokes


The Top 50:

50. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, ‘Go to Bournemouth, it’s great for flu’. So I went – and I got it. 

49. A seal walks into a club…

48. Went to the corner shop – bought 4 corners.

47. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people’s pants, it was Wedgie Kray.

46. I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

45. I tried water polo but my horse drowned.      

44. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’   

43. You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he’s a catholic converter.

42. I’ve got a friend who’s fallen in love with two school bags, he’s bisatchel.      

41. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it.

40. ‘I said to this train driver “I want to go to Paris”. He said “Eurostar?” I said, “I’ve been on telly but I’m no Dean Martin”. ‘  

39. ‘My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife’ll look at me and go, “Who’s that calling at this time?’ “I don’t know! If I knew that we wouldn’t need the bloody phone!” ‘  

38. A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, What a turtle disaster

37.’ I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said “may contain nuts.” Well, YES! That’s what I bought the buggers for! You’d be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!”‘      

Tommy Cooper’s surreal non-sequiturs still raise a laugh today

36. I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four.    

35. ‘I went down the local supermarket, I said, “I want to make a complaint, this vinegar’s got lumps in it”, he said, “Those are pickled onions”. ‘     

34. There was a man who entered a local paper’s pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

33. I was having dinner with Garry Kasparov and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

32. ‘Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says “Oi – get out! We don’t want your type in here”  ‘

31. ‘So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says “Your eyes sparkle like diamonds”. I said, “Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck”. ‘    

30. I’m in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite……… one jar.   

29. ‘I was in Tesco’s and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, “Are you two an item?” ‘   

28. ‘A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “because,” he said “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.” ‘  

27. Went to the paper shop – it had blown away.

26. I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can’t get the cobwebs out of her hair.

25. ‘The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said “Did you get my drift?”.’

24. ‘A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says “Sorry we don’t serve food in here” ‘

23. ‘A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”  ‘

22. Slept like a log last night…….. Woke up in the fireplace.

21. ‘A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything” ‘

20. I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she’d popped her clogs.     

19. ‘I rang up British Telecom, I said, “I want to report a nuisance caller”, he said “Not you again”.’  
18. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.”

17. ‘When Susan’s boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: “I love the simple things in life, but I don’t want one of them for my husband”. ‘    

16. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.      

15. ‘There’s two fish in a tank, and one says to the other “How do you drive this thing?” ‘

14. ‘A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ‘Amal.’ The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan’. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, “But they are twins. If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.” ‘         

13. ‘I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, “He’s trying to pull a fast one”. ‘

12. My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked. 

11. ‘I went to the doctors the other day and I said, ‘Have you got anything for wind?’ So he gave me a kite. ‘


10. ‘A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: “Pint please, and one for the road.”  ‘

9. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.

8. Another one was: Doc, I can’t stop singing the ‘Green Green Grass of Home’. He said: ‘That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome’. ‘Is it common?’I asked. ‘It’s not unusual’ he replied.    

7. Two aerials meet on a roof – fall in love – get married. The ceremony was rubbish – but the reception was brilliant.

6. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other one off.

5.  ‘I said to the Gym instructor “Can you teach me to do the splits?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays”‘

4. ‘A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, “Shut up…you’re next!” ‘.

3. ‘Dyslexic man walks into a bra…’

2. ‘I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.’

1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ‘Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!’ The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ‘The driver just insulted me!’ The man says: ‘You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.’

Best Husband Wife Jokes > Read Husband Wife Jokes

Top 20 Husband Wife jokes in Hindi. Best jokes on Husband and Wife in Hindi.


Platform par dher saara samaan liye khadi ek aurat se coolie ne puchha:

Madam, Coolie chahiye?

Aurat ne badi vinamrata ke sath jawab diya:

Nahin bhaiya, Mere pati mere saath hain!!

Husband: Meri shirt ulti karke press karna.
Wife: Ok.After 10 minutesHusband: Meri shirt press ki?
Wife: Nahi…

Husband: Kyun?
Wife: Ulti nahin aa rahi hai!


Pati: Priye, Kya tum mere sath Yoga Class chalna pasand karogi?
Patni: Tum kehna kya chahte ho, main kya moti ho gayi hoon?Pati: Koi baat nahin, Ichcha nahi hai to mat chalo.
Patni: Matlab main aalsi hoon?Pati: Arey tum gussa kyun kar rahi ho?
Patni: Matlab main hamesha jhagadti hoon!

Pati: arey maine aisa kab bola?
Patni: Matlab ki main jhoothi hoon!

Pati: achcha baba, Main nahin jaata hoon!
Patni: Main sab samajthi hoon, Darasal, tum le jana hi nahin chahte the…

Pati ne chup rehne mein bhalaayi samjhi aur phir so gaya!


Wife ambulance ko 108 per call karti hai.Operator: Aapko kya samasya hai?
Wife: Mere pair ki ungli coffee table se takra gayi hai.Operator: haste hue aur iske liye aap ambulance bulana chahati hain.
Wife: Nahi, ambulance to mere pati ke liye hai, use hasna nahi chahiye tha naa..


Biwi ko samjhna matlab:32 GB ka koi ek Video
2G network par download karna..aur 31.95 GB download
hone ke baad….

Aakhir mein error dikhnaa!!!

means…. Impossible!!!


Bhari Sardi mein Biwi Bathroom Se Naha Ke Nikli To Uska Pati Use Ghoor Raha Tha!Biwi Romantic Hokar Boli: Kya Iraada Hai?

Pati Ne 2 Thappad Maare aur Bola “Mere Garam Pani Se Kyu Nahayi”


Apna Baccha roye, toh dil me dard hota hai.
Aur doosre ka roye, toh sir me!Apni Biwi roye, toh sir me dard hota hai.
Aur doosre ki roye, toh dil me!Sab prabhu ki maya hai!


Wife: Janu kya main tumhare sapnon me aati hu.
Husband: Nahi.
Wife: Kyun?
Husband: Main “hanuman chalisa” padh kar sota hun!

Wife:Agar meri shaadi kisi ‘Raakshas’ se bhi ho jaati
to bhi main itni pareshan nahin hoti,
jitni main tumhare saath hoon!Husband:
Arrey pagli, Blood relation mein shaadiya kaha hoti hai?Wife trolled!


Assistant: “Sir, Aap Office Mein Shadi-Shuda Aadmiyon Ko Hi Kyu Rakhte Ho?”Boss: “Kyunki Unhe Beizzati Sehne Ki Aadat Hoti Hai Aur Ghar Jane Ki Jaldi Bhi Nahi Hoti”


Indian wife sanskaro wali hoti hai
Wo kabhi sabke samne apne pati ko“Abe Gadhe” aur
“Oye Gadhe” ya
“Sun Gadhe”nahi bolti

Isliye wo short me
“A.G. / O.G./ Suno G” Kehti hain..


Shaadi ki function chal raha tha..Pati apni patni ke sath waha pahuncha,
Thodi der baad patni ne dekha ki wo kisi mahila se hans-hans kar baat kar raha hai..Patni ne paas aakar kaha: Main ghar pahunch kar, tumhari Garam paani ki sikaayi kar ke Iodex laga dungi!!

Pati: Par mujhe chot kaha lagi hai?

Patni: Abhi hum ghar bhi kaha pahunche hain? :-)


“Apni khud ki galatiyo par hansna aapki umra badha sakta hai!”
– Shakespeare“Apni biwi ki galatiyo par hansna aapki umra Ghata bhi sakta hai!”
– Shakespeare ki Biwi


A man came home late at night after a party.His Wife yelled:how would you feel if you don’t see me for two days?

The man couldnt believe his luck, “That Would Be Great” he said.

Monday Passed And He Didnt See Her!
Tuesday And Wednesday Passed Too !!
On Thursday his Swelling became Better
And Now He Could See Her From The
Corner Of One Eye……


Biwi ne namaaz padhkar dua ke liye haath uthaye, par kuchh nahin manga aur haath neeche kar liye!Shauhar yeh sab dekh raha tha, to puchh baitha..
“Yeh kya? Dua kyun nahin maangi?”Biwi: Maangne hi lagi thi ki “Allah aapki tamaam mushkile khatam kar de”
Phir socha, Kahin main hi na mar jaaun!


Pati: Aaj khane me kya banaogi?
Biwi: Jo tum kaho…Pati: Daal chawal banao
Biwi: Abhi kal hi to khaye thePati: To sabji bana lo
Biwi: Bahcche nahi khate

Pati: fir keema?
Biwi: mujhe allergy hai

Pati: Parantha?
Biwi: Raat ko paranthe kaun khata hai?

Pati: Kadhi?
Biwi: Dahi nahi hai

Pati: Fir kya banaogi?


Young Boy:
After 70 years, you still address your wife as Darling, Love, Honey!
Whats the secret?Old man:
Her name slipped from my mind 10 years ago!
And i’m scared to ask, what it is?


Harr Biwi Ki DuaYa Khuda Mere shohar Ko

Tarakki De

Dolat de

Bangla De

Mujhe Kuchh Nahi Chahiye..

Tu Sab Mere shohar Ko de


Unse lena mera kaam hai 😀


Pati Patni Mein Zabardast Jhagda Ho Raha Tha,Patni: Kash Main Apni Mom KiBaat Maan Leti Aur Tum Se Shadi Na Karti

Pati: Kya Matlab? Tumhari Maa Ne Mujh Se Shadi Karne Ko Mana Kiya Tha?

Patni: Haan, Bahut Baar…

Pati Rote Hue Bola: Hey Bhagwan, Main Aaj Tak Uss Nek Aurat Ko Kitna Bura Samjhta Raha Jisne Mujhe Bachana Chaha…


Hindi Joke: Chalaak Buddha aur Sharab ka Bar – Hindi Chutkula

Hindi Joke: Chalaak Buddha aur Sharab ka Bar – Hindi Chutkula

शराब के उस बार के सामने एक छोटा सा तालाब था।

झमाझम बारिश हो रही थी और
उस बारिश में पूरा भीगा हुआ एक बुजुर्ग आदमी एक छड़ी पकड़े था
जिससे बँधा धागा तालाब के पानी में डूबा हुआ था।

एक राहगीर ने उससे पूछा: “क्या कर रहे हो बाबा ?”

बुजुर्ग: “मछली पकड़ रहा हूँ।”

राहगीर बारिश में भीगे उस बुजुर्ग को देख बहुत दुखी हुआ, बोला:
“बाबा, मैं बार में व्हिस्की पीने जा रहा हूँ।
आओ तुम्हें भी एक पैग पिलाता हूँ।
ऐंसे तो तुम्हे सर्दी लग जायेगी। आओ अंदर चलें। ”

बार के गर्म माहौल में बुजुर्ग के साथ व्हिस्की पीते महाशय ने बुजुर्ग से पूछा:
“हाँ तो, बाबा, आज कितनी मछलियाँ फसीं ?”

बुजुर्ग बोला” तुम आठवीं मछली हो, बेटा! “