Read Best Hindi Jokes, Funny Hindi Jokes

Read Best Hindi Jokes, Funny Hindi Jokes

Selfie le le re –Ashiqui ki Hadd

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उस लड़के ने चिता पर लेट कर लड़की के साथ

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सेल्फी खींच कर पोस्ट किया –
“Me with My ex girl Friend”.
at शमशान घाट – Feeling Sad…!!! with pandit ji & 14 others

 

Best Funny friendship one liners Short jokes

Discover the Best Funny friendship one liners Short jokes Check the best funny one liners – short funny sayings which you may use in your stand ups show, talking with friends, parties, informal public speeches.

    1. The difference between “Girlfriend” and “Girl Friend” is that little space in between we call the “Friend Zone”.
    2. Nothing makes you happier than your friend’s failure.
    3. Friends come and go. Enemies pile up.
    4. You don’t have to have friends; you just have to be friends with them.
    5. My friend’s friend is my friend. My friend’s girlfriend is my friend. My friend’s boyfriend is just a scum.
    6. I’m having an introvert party and you’re all not invited.There are few things I enjoy more than picking an argument with my girlfriend when she has the hiccups.
    7. Everyone has a friend who laughs funnier than he jokes
    8. I always tell new hires, don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you.
    9. A friend is like a book: you don’t need to read all of them, just pick the best ones.
    10. I would like to know when someone unfriends me on Facebook, so I could like it.
    11. It’s a pleasure to see you and another – not to see.
    12. Loneliness is when you get an e-mail but it’s from the newsgroup server.
    13. ‘Are you threatening me?’ ‘It depends, if you got scared – yes I am; if not – I’m only warning you…’
    14. I found out about you from my last nightmare.
    15. Maybe you need a ladder to climb out of my business?
    16. I like the sound of you not talking.
    17. Sometimes good things fall apart, so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe
    18. I’m not a Facebook status, you don’t have to like me.
    19. I don‘t care what was said about me. Just tell me why they were so comfortable to say it to you.
    20. I found your nose in my business again.
    21. Some people only gets called by their nicknames. Usually it sounds weird to even say their real name.
    22. Don’t tell a lot about yourself, behind your back will tell more interestingly about you.
    23. If you can’t get someone out of your head then maybe they’re supposed
    24. TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a persons house and your wifi connects automatically.
    25. Friends wave red flags when you have a bad idea. Real friends pick up a camera.

     

    One Line Friendship Status for Whatsapp

     

    Here are some best lines about True friendship and friends. Friendship the strong relation between two friends. It is the relation which destiny decides you to meet each other.

     

    1. A true friend will surely find a reason to love you even when you have done something that you cannot mend….!
    1. Don’t count how many new friends you can make. Count how many old friends you can keep.
    2. The most important part about reaching the highest point in friendship.. isn’t getting to the top, it’s staying there.
    3. It’s not an achievement to make 100 friends in a year…but an achievement is when you make a friend for 100 years…!!!
    4. Friendship is not a big fire which burns all day…It’s a small lamp, that burns till the last day of life.!!!
    5. Being a friend is not just sharing a joke..a conversation, a cup of coffee or a funny story. It means sharing an honest and true part of yourself…!!!
    6. Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born…!!!
    7. There is a gift that gold cannot buy a blessing that’s rare and true… That’s the gift of a wonderful friend like the friend I have in you…!!!!
    8. A true friend is the one who knows more about you than yourself and still loves you…!!!!
    9. FRiEND in different languages… Iranian – DOST German – FREUND Herbew – CHAVERO French- AMi Pinoy – KAiBiGAN Dutch – VREND Mexican – AMiGO For me.. just simply “YOU”
    10. Friendship is not the collection of hearts but it is selection of hearts All friends are not true But true friends are very few which include YOU.
    11. If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn’t jump with them, I would be at the bottom to catch them
    12. Another month, another year. . Another smile, another tear. . Another winter and another summer too But there can never be another you.
    13. A single candle can illuminate an entire room. A true friend lights up an entire lifetime. Thanks for the bright lights of your friendship.

     

    Friendship Day Messages

    This Friendship Day honour your friends and let them know how special they are to you with a cute and heartfelt Friendship Day Message.
    If you open my heart, guess what u r gonna see? It’s U. True friends are hard to find so I kept u.

    FRIENDSHIP isn’t how U forGet but how U forGive,
    Not how U liSten but how U UnderStand,
    Not what U see but how U feel,
    and not how U Let Go but how U hold oN!!!
    HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!!

    If u r a chocolate ur the sweetest, if u r a Teddy Bear u r the most huggable, If u r a Star u r the Brightest, and since u r my “FRIEND” u r the “BEST”!!!!!!!!!

    I thank and praise god for every memory of yours
    You are stalwart and sunshine in the valley of life
    May god continues to strengthen you with might
    May He lights your path in every alley or night
    And bless you with grace that is never ceasing.

     

    Sometimes, I forget to say hi,
    Sometimes, I even miss to reply,
    Sometimes, my message doesn’t reach you,
    But, it doesn’t mean that I forget you,
    I just giving you time to miss me!

Funny Quotes, Thoughts and One-Liners! Funny One Liner Jokes

Funny Quotes, Thoughts and One-Liners! Funny One Liner Jokes

 

If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
Relationships are like fat people… Most of them don’t work out.
I’m in shape… Unfortunately, it’s the shape of a potato.
I failed my driver’s test today. The instructor asked me “What do you do at a red light?” I said “I usually check my emails and see what people are up to on Facebook.”
Old people at weddings always poke me and say “you’re next”. So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Running away doesn’t help you with your problems… unless you’re fat.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.
Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
I changed all my passwords to “incorrect”, so that whenever I forget, it will tell me, “Your password is incorrect.”
Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant. Therefore, chocolate is salad.
I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems.
People say love is the best feeling, but I think finding a toilet when you’ve got diarrhea is better.
Damn, I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 10 years in a row now…
Going to McDonald’s for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Saw some footage of polar bears drinking water today. It’s obviously fake, everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola.
“Don’t kid yourself” would be a great slogan for a condom company.
If you were home alone, and you heard a fart, would you be scared or laugh?
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to…Unless you’re in prison!
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons.
If I die in my sleep, at least I can actually say that I died doing what I loved.
Dear rappers, please stop putting sirens in your songs. When I’m driving, it scares the crap out of me.
Never give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.
If your boyfriend remembers your eye color after the first date, then you probably have small boobs.
Do bankruptcy lawyers really expect to be paid?
I’m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
My wife left me for a Hindu guy. At least he’ll treat her better… they worship cows.
If only God can judge us than Santa has some explaining to do.
Don’t be racist, be like Super Mario. He’s an Italian plumber, created by Japanese people, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican.
Who says nothing is impossible? I’ve been doing nothing for years.
Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it’s my own reflection!
I’m not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face!
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Best Happy Birthday Wishes Best Happy birthday quotes

Best Happy birthday quotes and sayings

  • I hope your special day will bring you lots of happiness, love and fun. You deserve them a lot. Enjoy!

 

  • Have a wonderful birthday. I wish your every day to be filled with lots of love, laughter, happiness and the warmth of sunshine.

 

  • May your coming year surprise you with the happiness of smiles, the feeling of love and so on. I hope you will find plenty of sweet memories to cherish forever. Happy birthday.

 

  • On your special day, I wish you good luck. I hope this wonderful day will fill up your heart with joy and blessings. Have a fantastic birthday, celebrate the happiness on every day of your life. Happy Birthday!!

 

  • May this birthday be filled with lots of happy hours and also your life with many happy birthdays, that are yet to come. Happy birthday.

 

  • Happy Birthday to a person that’s charming, talented and witty, and reminds me a lot of myself.

 

  • A birthday is a most special day in one’s life. Enjoy yours to its fullest.

 

 

  • It’s your birthday and you’re still just as beautiful, genuine and kind as the day I met you. Wishing you a Happy Birthday with gratitude.

 

  • My birthday wish for you is that you continue to love life and never stop dreaming. May beauty and happiness surround you, not only on your special day, but always.

 

  • Special day, special person and special celebration. May all your dreams and desires come true in this coming year. Happy birthday.

 

  • You are my true friend. You were always with me, you supported me, you boosted me up when I was down. Thanks for being such a friend of mine. Happy birthday.

 

  • Let your all the dreams to be on fire and light your birthday candles with that. Have a gorgeous birthday.

 

  • I wish you a wonderfulBirthday!! I hope you have an amazing day and lots of fun! Enjoy this day, you deserve it!

Best Birthday Messages Birthday Wishes Birthday SMS

Birthday Messages and Birthday Wishes and Birthday SMS

  • Celebrate your birthday today. Celebrate being Happy every day.
  • May your birthday and every day be filled with the warmth of sunshine, the happiness of smiles, the sounds of laughter, the feeling of love and the sharing of good cheer.
  • I hope you have a wonderful day and that the year ahead is filled with much love, many wonderful surprises and gives you lasting memories that you will cherish in all the days ahead. Happy Birthday.
  • On this special day, i wish you all the very best, all the joy you can ever have and may you be blessed abundantly today, tomorrow and the days to come! May you have a fantastic birthday and many more to come… HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
  • They say that you can count your true friends on 1 hand – but not the candles on your birthday cake! #1Happybirthday
  • May your birthday be filled with many happy hours and your life with many happy birthdays. HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!
  • So many candles for such a small cake? Happy Birthday.
  • Happy birthday! Enjoy this year and use it as a launchpad for your future!
  • Well, you are another year older and you haven’t changed a bit. That’s great because you are perfect just the way you are. Happy Birthday.
  • You are special and I hope that you float through the day with a big smile on your face. Happy Birthday!
  • Take a day off to celebrate you birthday. Take a year off and tell people you are younger. Happy Birthday.
  • Happy Birthday!!! I hope this is the beginning of your greatest, most wonderful year ever!
  • When the world works right, good things happen to and for good people and you are definitely good people. Happy Birthday!
  • Wishing you a day that is as special in every way as you are. Happy Birthday.
  • You have to get older, but you don’t have to grow up.
  • You are my friend. You are always there for me, supporting me, encouraging me , listening to me and all those other things that friends do. Happy Birthday Friend.
  • Set the world on fire with your dreams and use the flame to light a birthday candle. HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!
  • Thinking of you on your birthday, and wishing you all the best! I hope it is as fantastic as you are, you deserve the best and nothing less.
  • Wishing you all the great things in life, hope this day will bring you an extra share of all that makes you happiest. Happy Birthday.
  • I hope that you have the greatest birthday ever from the moment you open your eyes in the morning until they close late at night.
  • On this special day, I wish you all the very best, all the joy you can ever have and may you be blessed abundantly today, tomorrow and the days to come! May you have a fantastic birthday and many more to come… HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
  • They say you lose your memory as you grow older. I say forget about the past and live life to the fullest today. Start with ice cream. Happy Birthday.
  • Hope your birthday is totally cool, really funtastic, wonderful, exciting, majorly awesome, rocking and HAPPY. Happy Birthday wishes.
  • Hope you love your new age. It loves you because it looks good on you. Happy Birthday.
  • Be your own light. Find your own way. It should be easy with all those candles.

Funny marriage one liners

Marriage one liners, one liners joke, short joke, marraige joke

  • Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn’t that be an even number?

  • My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

  • Childs experience: if a mother is laughing at the fathers jokes, it means they have guests.

  • My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
  • I need to start paying closer attention to stuff. Found out today my wife and I have separate names for the cat.

  • By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

  • The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it

  • I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewellery.

  • Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. (Benjamin Franklin)

  • My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

  • My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

  • A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.

  • I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

  • I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, ‘There’s water in the carburettor’. I said, ‘Where’s the car?’  She said, ‘In the lake.’

  • Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

  • Brigands demand your money or your life, women require both.

  • Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.

  • Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that… ‘This conversation will be recorded for Training and Quality purpose’

  • I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months- I don’t like to interrupt her.

  • Any married man should forget his mistakes, there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.

  • What’s the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck.

  • I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married they send over a lady in a housecoat and curlers to burn my toast for me.

  • My wife is a light eater … as soon as it’s light, she starts to eat.

  • At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, ‘Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?’ The other replied, ‘Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.

  • After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, ‘You know, I was a fool when I married you.’ The husband replied, ‘Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.

  • A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: ‘Wife wanted’.  Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.

  • When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

  • Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

  • I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

  • I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months – I don’t like to interrupt her.

  • Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

  • My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.

  • A husband said to his wife, ‘No, I don’t hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.

  • A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, ‘OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death.

  • How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

  • A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

  • The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

  • hat’s the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck.

  • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

  • My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.

  • You should argue with your wife only when she’s not around.

  • My husband is on the roof – only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life.

  • You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets.

  • My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

  • Husbands are like fires, they go out when unattended.

  • It was a perfect marriage. She didn’t want to and he couldn’t.

  • I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

  • A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.

  • I never mind my wife having the last word. In fact, I’m delighted when she gets to it.