“I almost had a Psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.”
When two psychics met, one said to the other, “You are fine. How am I?”
A note on the door: “Psychic fair closed due to unforeseen circumstances.”
Why do you need to make an appointment with a psychic? Surely they know you’re coming…
“I’m actually a skilled mind-reader.
I know what you’re thinking.
You don’t believe me.”
„How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand…“
Q: “What is an astrologist’s favorite chocolate bar?”
A: “Mars bar!”
Q: “What’s the difference between a pizza and a tarot reader?”
A: “A pizza can feed a family of four.”
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four chin teller.
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
Where do fortune tellers dance?
At the crystal ball.
Why couldn’t the fortune teller have children?
Her husband had crystal balls.
If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
“I want to tell you your fortune.”
Take her hand and write your phone number on it.
“There’s your future.”