Tag: doctor joke

Read Funny Doctors and Patients Jokes Here you will find Doctor patient jokes those will make you laugh. Funny Conversations Between Doctor and Patient Doctor: You are in very critical condition. you are dying and you don’t have much time. Patient: OMG, that’s terrible. How long have I got? Doctor: 10 Patient: 10 what? days, weeks, months or years? Doctor: 10…9…8…7…6…. Patient: !!!!!! Wife: Doctor, my husband talking every night while he sleeping..! Doctor: You must allow him to talk at the day times..!   The doctor told a patient that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. After 300 days, the patient called the doctor to report he had lost weight, but he had a problem. Doctor : 'What is the problem?' Patient : 'I am 2400 kms. from home.' ______________________________________ Doctor to Patient: You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die? Patient: Yes. A Good Doctor. ______________________________________ PATIENT: Na khaau, to bhook lagti hai. Na souu, to Neend aati hai. Zyada kaam karu, to thakawat hoti hai. DOCTOR: Saari Raat Dhoop mein baitho, Theek ho jaoge. ______________________________________ HUSBAND OF THE PATIENT: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? DOCTOR: When the kids are in college. . . ______________________________________ Patient: Doctor, aapko yakeen hai ki mujhe Nimonia (pneumonia) hai, kyunki picchle dino ek doctor mere friend ka Namoonia ka ilaaj karta raha aur woh Typhoid se mar gaya... Doctor: Haan! Mujhe pura yaqeen hai ki tu nimonia se hi marega... ______________________________________ Patient: Doctor Sahab, main jab baat karta hu toh mujhe sirf awaaz sunaai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta. Doctor: Aisa kab hota hai? Patient: Phone karte waqt... ______________________________________ Patient : I always see spots before my eyes. Doctor : Didn't the new glasses help? Patient : Yes, they do. Now I see the spots much clearer!!! ______________________________________ Doctor to Patient : The cheque which u gave me has returned back.... Patient to Doctor: The head-ache for which you gave me medicine has also returned back.... ______________________________________ A Cute Nurse came 4 the interview. Doctor: What salary do U expect? Nurse: Rs.10,000. Doctor was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure. Nurse: With Pleasure its 25,000. ______________________________________ Sharabi to Doctor: Kya aap meri sharab chhudva sakte ho? Doctor: Haan, kyun nahi. Sharabi: To police headquaters me meri 4 bottle padi hai. Please chhudwa do. ______________________________________ Doctor interviewing a Nurse: What would U do in the case of a person who has eaten poisonous roots? Nurse: Recommend a change of diet..... ______________________________________ Patient: Doctor! Mujhe aisi dava dijiye ki marne ke baad main fir se zinda ho jaau.... Doctor: Ye Tel. No. lo. Ye Ekta Kapoor ka no. hai, is pe contact karo.... ______________________________________ Patient: Doctor Saahab! Main Khud Ko Bhagwan Samajhne Laga Hu.... Doctor: Ye Problem Tumhe Kab Se Hai...? Patient: Jab Se Maine Ye Duniya Banayi Hai.... ______________________________________ Doctor: You should take at least 10 glasses of water everyday. Patient: It is impossible. Doctor: Why? Patient: I have only 4 glasses at home..... ______________________________________ Patient: I keep feeling like a Dog. Doctor: How long has this been going on? Patient: Since l was a puppy. ______________________________________ Doctor: You are Very Sick. Patient: Can I get a Second Opinion? Doctor: Yes, Of course! You are very Ugly too..... ______________________________________ Nurse : "Wake up man!" Patient : "Why, what's the matter?" Nurse : "Nothing, I just forgot to give u the prescribed sleeping pills...." ______________________________________ Lady Patient: Doctor! Please call my husband inside. Doctor: Trust me, I'm a Gentleman. Lady: No Doctor, Your Nurse is sitting outside & my husband is not a Gentleman.... ______________________________________