Funny Nepali Joke

मेरा नेपाली नौकर कल मेरे पास आया और बोला शाबजी-
“सीरीया का बाशाह मर गया .!!”

मैं बड़ा खुश हुआ चलो ISIS ka खात्मा हुआ …..

मैंने टीवी चैनल देखा ….
किसी न्यूज़ में ऐसी कोई खबर नहीं था
एक घंटे बाद मैं अपने बगीचे में गया
और …..
वहा मुझे पता चला कि वो कह रहा था कि ….
“चिडिया का बच्चा मर गया”!

 

Very Funny Kid Joke in Hindi

पति: अरे सुनो, मुन्ना रो रहा है चुप कराओ इसे।

पत्नी (गुस्से में):
मैं काम करू या बच्चे संभालू,
मैं इसे दहेज़ में नहीं लायी थी, खुद ही चुप करा लो।

पति : फिर रोने दे…
मैं कौनसा इसे बारात में लेकर गया था..:)

Funny Joke :Indian joke

Joke :Indian joke

Santa: I am so miser (kanjoos) that 
       I went alone for my honeymoon and 
       saved half the money.
Banta: That is nothing, I saved full money.
       I sent my wife for honeymoon with 
       a friend.

Joke :Indian joke

Ek admi apni biwi ko dafna kay ghar ja
raha tha kay achanak bijli chamki,
badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui
dukhi aadmi bola: Lagta hai pahunch gai

Joke : Indian joke

 
Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb   : Kal aana. 
Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar 
          mein is colony mein mere
          lakhon rupaye fase huye hain.

Joke :Indian joke

    
Patni: Suno ji, Aapko Mujme Sabse Jayada 
kaya Acha Lagta hai, Meri Beauty ya Meri
Akalmandi?
Pati: Muje to yeh teri Majak karne ki 
Aadat Sabse achhi lagti hai

Joke : Indian joke

  
Munnabhai: Ae circuit yeh kutte poonch
           kyun hilate hain? Bole to Dog
           tail shaking WHY?
Circuit  : Common sense hai bhai ab poonch
           kutte ko to nahi hila sakti hai na.

Joke :Indian joke

Raabert: Boss, mere dono bachon ke liye
         koi naam bataiye..
Ajeet:   Ek ka naam rakho Peter….
Raabert: boss or doosre ka ?
Ajeet  : Repeater.  

Joke :Indian joke

Munnabhai: Are Ek bakara Talaab me Gir 
           gaya hai aab wo sala kaise
           bahar aayegaa ? 
Cirkit   : Bhai Geela Hoker, Tension 
           nahi Lene kaa  

Joke :Indian joke

Santa ne math k paper mein dance krna 
shuru kr dya!
Teacher:Ye kia kr rahe ho khan g?
Santa: mere dost ne kaha tha ki har 
step ke number hotay hain...  

Joke :Indian joke

Mall me announce ho raha tha "Ek 
bacha mila hai Jin ka hai le jaye "
Santa jaldi se pahucha or bola " mujhe 
bhi dikhao ankhir " Jin ka bacha hota
kaisa hai ".  

Joke :Indian joke

Professor ne Ek Ladke ke 1 taraf 
cake or 1 taraf ladki rakhi.
Ladka foran cake ki taraf Lapka.
Doosri bar cake badal K Roti rakhi
to Ladka Roti ko Lapka.
Yu bar bar food item Badalne per 
Ladka her bar Khane ki taraf Badha.
Professor: Bus Sabit hua K Bhook hi
sab se Badi Taqat hai.
Piche se :Sir g! Ek Bar Larki Bhi 
Badal k Dekh Lein. Ye iski Behan hai.  

Joke :Indian joke

Pathan to wife : in romantic mode,
                 Meri jan kia aj humse naraz hai?
wife           : nahi tu?
Pathan         : tu phir aj humari taraf face
                 kion kar rakha hai .  

Joke :Indian joke

Teacher:bijli kahan se atti hei???
Student:mere mamu k ghar se!
Teacher:wo kase?!
Student:jab bijili jati ha tu papa
        kehty hen
Salon ne phir bijli band kar di  

Joke :Indian joke

Man   : Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai
        to kya karte ho?
Sardar: AC k paas ja k baith jata hun
Man   : Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?
Sardar: To A/C on kar leta hun  

Joke :Indian joke

Boss: Jab aap ke pas mobile hai or mere
pas bhi mobile hai toh ap ne LETTER
kyo bheja?
Banta:O humne tumko call kia tha us 
me baji boli plz TRY LETTER.  

Joke :Indian joke joke

Patni: swamiji ne kahaa ke swarg mein
       pati patni ko saath rehne nahi 
       dete hai
Pati : isiliye usae swarg kehete hai  

Joke :Indian joke

Pati : mere marne ke baad, kyaa tum
       doosri shaadi karogi?
Patni: nahi. main apni behan ki
       saath rahungi. aap?
Pati : main bhi tumhaare behan
       ke saath rahunga  

Joke :Indian joke

Wife   : suniye, hum is hafte poora
          cinema dekhenge, agle hafte poora
         shopping karenge.
Husband: uske baad ke hafte poora mandir
         jaayenge
Wife   : kyu?
Husband: bheek maangne ke liye  

Joke :Indian joke

Wife    : aji, koi peeche mere pair 
          choo rahaa hai.
Husband : peeche mud ke apna chehra 
          dikha, woh choonaa bandh kar dega

Jokes for Kids – Funny Kid Jokes -Hindi Jokes for Kids Jokes

Funny hindi Jokes for Kids, Best Jokes for Kids, Funny Kid Jokes in Hindi

Make your kids laugh with these silly kids jokes, goofy puns, and other funny jokes for kids.s
NEVER ACT SMART WITH Today’s Kids – Funny kids joke
In a Nursery School Canteen…

There’s a basket of apples with a notice written over it :-

“Do not take more than one, God is watching”

On the other counter there’s a box of chocolates,
A small child went & wrote on it.
“Take as many as U want, God is busy watching the apples”…

NEVER ACT SMART WITH Today’s Generation..!.!

 

Don’t be over smart with kids – Kids funny joke

KID :- Why some of ur hair are white dad…?DAD : – Every time you make me unhappy , one of my hair turns white…

KID :- Now understand why grandpa’s hairs are all white…

Moral :- Don’t be over smart…

 

Don’t be over smart with kids – Kids funny joke

Child : Mummy why Gandhi has no hair on his head…?Mummy : Because he speak only truth…

Child : Now I understand why ladies have long hair…

 

Bollywood songs for kids…

 

School: Ye Duniya Ye Mehfil Mere Kaam Ki nahi…
Tution: Idher Chala Main Udher Chala Janey Kahan Main Kidher Chala.. .
Maths: Ajeeb Daastaan Hai Ye Kahan Shuru Kahan Khatam..
Science: Aa Khushi Se Khud Khushi Karle…
Exam: Choti Choti Raatein Lambi Ho Jaati Hain.. .
Result : jab dil hi toot gaya ham jeeke kya kare…
Pass: Aaj Lagta Hai main Hawa Mein hoon Aaj Itni Khushi Mili hai…
Fail: Chann se Jo Tootey Koi sapna jag soona soona laagay…

 

Whom u like more mumma or papa? – Funny kids Joke
Papa- Whom u like more mumma or papa?Kid- Both

Papa- No tell me one?

Kid- Both

Papa- If i go to America & Ur mother goes to Paris
Where will u go?

Kid- Paris

Papa- It means you like ur mother more?

Kid- No, coz paris is beautiful than America

Papa- If i go to paris & Ur mother goes to america so Why will u go?

Kid- America

Papa- why?

Kid- Paris to ghum aaye na papa

Papa- Jaa be Maa ke Chamche, jaa school jaa!

 

Mummy jaldi Nal kholo, Papa aate honge!! – Kids Funny Joke

Bachcha: (Nal se aate paani ko dekhkar) Papa yeh paani kaha se aata hai?Papa: Beta nadi se..

Beta: Phir mujhe Nadi dekhni hai..

Papa use nadi dikhane le jaate hain, Bachcha unhe nadi mein dhakka markar gira deta hai…
Bhagta hua ghar aakar Maa ko kehta hai…

 

Mummy jaldi Nal kholo, Papa aate honge!!

 

Don’t act over smart with kids – Funny kids Joke
A man was seated next to a kid in an airplane.
The man turned to him and said, “Let’s talk”.Kid: Ok, what do we talk about ?

Man (making fun of d kid): How about nuclear power?

Kid:
Very interesting topic. But let me ask you a question…
Horse, cow & deer, all eat grass. Yet deer excretes pellets, cow flat potty & horse clumps.
Why?

Man: I don’t know.

Child: Do you really feel qualified enough to discuss nuclear issues when you don’t know shit.. ?

 

Ek Cute se bachhe ko dekh kar Ek Ladki ne uske Gaal par KISS kar diyaLadki: I am Sorry, Apke Gaal par Lipstik Lag gayi

Bachchaa: It’s OK baby, “Kuch achha karne se agar DAAG lagte hain to DAAG achhe hain”

Bachcha: Doodh peene se rang gora hota hai?Doctor: Haa, hota hai!

Bachcha: Jhooth, Phir bhains ka bachcha kaala kyun hota hai?

Bachcha (Doctor se): Kya koi bina dard ke bhi daant nikal sakta hai?Doctor: Nahin

Bachcha: Main nikal sakta hoon!

Doctor: Ho hi nahin sakta, mujhe bhi dikhao…

Bachcha: Ha ha ha ha ha hahahaha
(bachche ne battisi dikha di )

 

Teacher: What is your mother’s name?
Kid: Kabhi naam nahi puchha,
Bas.. pyar se MAA kehta hu .

Hindi Joke: Chalaak Buddha aur Sharab ka Bar – Hindi Chutkula

Hindi Joke: Chalaak Buddha aur Sharab ka Bar – Hindi Chutkula

शराब के उस बार के सामने एक छोटा सा तालाब था।

झमाझम बारिश हो रही थी और
उस बारिश में पूरा भीगा हुआ एक बुजुर्ग आदमी एक छड़ी पकड़े था
जिससे बँधा धागा तालाब के पानी में डूबा हुआ था।

एक राहगीर ने उससे पूछा: “क्या कर रहे हो बाबा ?”

बुजुर्ग: “मछली पकड़ रहा हूँ।”

राहगीर बारिश में भीगे उस बुजुर्ग को देख बहुत दुखी हुआ, बोला:
“बाबा, मैं बार में व्हिस्की पीने जा रहा हूँ।
आओ तुम्हें भी एक पैग पिलाता हूँ।
ऐंसे तो तुम्हे सर्दी लग जायेगी। आओ अंदर चलें। ”

बार के गर्म माहौल में बुजुर्ग के साथ व्हिस्की पीते महाशय ने बुजुर्ग से पूछा:
“हाँ तो, बाबा, आज कितनी मछलियाँ फसीं ?”

बुजुर्ग बोला” तुम आठवीं मछली हो, बेटा! “