पति: अरे सुनो, मुन्ना रो रहा है चुप कराओ इसे। पत्नी (गुस्से में): मैं काम करू या बच्चे संभालू, मैं इसे दहेज़ में नहीं लायी थी, खुद ही चुप करा लो। पति : फिर रोने दे… मैं कौनसा इसे बारात में लेकर गया था..:)
न्यूटन की तरह मैने भी प्यार के नियम की खोज की है जो इस प्रकार है :- सार्वत्रिक (यूनिवर्सल) नियम:-: प्यार को न तो पैदा किया जा सकता है और न ही नष्ट किया जा सकता है, इसे केवल कुछ धन की क्षति के साथ एक गर्ल फ्रेंड से दूसरी गर्लफ्रेंड में स्थानांतरित किया जा सकता है….!! . *पहला नियम :-:लड़का , लड़की को हमेशा प्यार करता रहेगा और लड़की भी लडके को प्यार करना जारी रखेगी तब तक जब तक कि कोई बाह्य बल (लड़की के बाप एवं भाई द्वारा लडके की टाँगे तोड़कर ) न लगाया जाये…! . *दूसरा नियम:-:एक दुसरे के प्रेम में डूबे युगल में लड़की द्वारा लड़के से किये जाने वाले प्रेम की मात्रा में परिवर्तन, लडके के बेंक बेलेंस की मात्रा के अनुक्रमानुपाती होता है…! . *तीसरा नियम -लड़की द्वारा प्रेम निवेदन अस्वीकार किये जाने में प्रयुक्त आरोपित बल, उसके सेंडल द्वारा प्रयोग किये जाने वाले बल के समान एवं विपरीत दिशा में होता है…!! #funny
Five Important Qualities It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
Husband: Baaju k ghar se IODEX maang ke la. Wife: Wo log nhi denge. HUsband: Haan! Bade kanjoos or kamine log hai Chal Apni hi almaari se nikaal le!
Husband Wife Jokes: Suhagrat ki Raat Husband Wife Jokes: Suhagrat ki Raat सुहागरात के दिन पत्नी अपने भारी भरकमवस्त्रों को निकाल कर फ़ेंक रही थी और हलके वस्त्र धारण कर रही थी ! तभी पति महोदय पप्पू की एंट्री हुई और उसने कपड़ों के ढेर को देखा ! पत्नी ने पति की तरफ तिरछी नजरों से देखते हुए कहा :- पता है न क्या करना है ? . . . . . . पप्पू ( बाहर भागते हुए ) : ऐसी कि तैसी, मैं इतनी ठण्डी रात में कपडे कभी नहीं धोऊंगा !
Discover the Best Funny friendship one liners Short jokes Check the best funny one liners – short funny sayings which you may use in your stand ups show, talking with friends, parties, informal public speeches. The difference between "Girlfriend" and "Girl Friend" is that little space in between we call the "Friend Zone". Nothing makes you happier than your friend’s failure. Friends come and go. Enemies pile up. You don’t have to have friends; you just have to be friends with them. My friend’s friend is my friend. My friend’s girlfriend is my friend. My friend’s boyfriend is just a scum. I'm having an introvert party and you're all not invited.There are few things I enjoy more than picking an argument with my girlfriend when she has the hiccups. Everyone has a friend who laughs funnier than he jokes I always tell new hires, don't think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you. A friend is like a book: you don’t need to read all of them, just pick the best ones. I would like to know when someone unfriends me on Facebook, so I could like it. It’s a pleasure to see you and another – not to see. Loneliness is when you get an e-mail but it’s from the newsgroup server. ‘Are you threatening me?’ ‘It depends, if you got scared – yes I am; if not – I’m only warning you…’ I found out about you from my last nightmare. Maybe you need a ladder to climb out of my business? I like the sound of you not talking. Sometimes good things fall apart, so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe I’m not a Facebook status, you don’t have to like me. I don‘t care what was said about me. Just tell me why they were so comfortable to say it to you. I found your nose in my business again. Some people only gets called by their nicknames. Usually it sounds weird to even say their real name. Don’t tell a lot about yourself, behind your back will tell more interestingly about you. If you can’t get someone out of your head then maybe they’re supposed TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a persons house and your wifi connects automatically. Friends wave red flags when you have a bad idea. Real friends pick up a camera. One Line Friendship Status for Whatsapp Here are some best lines about True friendship and friends. Friendship the strong relation between two friends. It is the relation which destiny decides you to meet each other. A true friend will surely find a reason to love you even when you have done something that you cannot mend….! Don’t count how many new friends you can make. Count how many old friends you can keep. The most important part about reaching the highest point in friendship.. isn’t getting to the top, it’s staying there. It’s not an achievement to make 100 friends in a year…but an achievement is when you make a friend for 100 years…!!! Friendship is not a big fire which burns all day…It’s a small lamp, that burns till the last day of life.!!! Being a friend is not just sharing a joke..a conversation, a cup of coffee or a funny story. It means sharing an honest and true part of yourself…!!! Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born…!!! There is a gift that gold cannot buy a blessing that’s rare and true… That’s the gift of a wonderful friend like the friend I have in you…!!!! A true friend is the one who knows more about you than yourself and still loves you…!!!! FRiEND in different languages… Iranian – DOST German – FREUND Herbew – CHAVERO French- AMi Pinoy – KAiBiGAN Dutch – VREND Mexican – AMiGO For me.. just simply “YOU” Friendship is not the collection of hearts but it is selection of hearts All friends are not true But true friends are very few which include YOU. If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn’t jump with them, I would be at the bottom to catch them Another month, another year. . Another smile, another tear. . Another winter and another summer too But there can never be another you. A single candle can illuminate an entire room. A true friend lights up an entire lifetime. Thanks for the bright lights of your friendship. Friendship Day Messages This Friendship Day honour your friends and let them know how special they are to you with a cute and heartfelt Friendship Day Message. If you open my heart, guess what u r gonna see? It's U. True friends are hard to find so I kept u. FRIENDSHIP isn’t how U forGet but how U forGive, Not how U liSten but how U UnderStand, Not what U see but how U feel, and not how U Let Go but how U hold oN!!! HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!! If u r a chocolate ur the sweetest, if u r a Teddy Bear u r the most huggable, If u r a Star u r the Brightest, and since u r my "FRIEND" u r the "BEST"!!!!!!!!! I thank and praise god for every memory of yours You are stalwart and sunshine in the valley of life May god continues to strengthen you with might May He lights your path in every alley or night And bless you with grace that is never ceasing. Sometimes, I forget to say hi, Sometimes, I even miss to reply, Sometimes, my message doesn't reach you, But, it doesn't mean that I forget you, I just giving you time to miss me!
Funny Quotes, Thoughts and One-Liners! Funny One Liner Jokes If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other. Relationships are like fat people... Most of them don't work out. I'm in shape... Unfortunately, it's the shape of a potato. I failed my driver's test today. The instructor asked me "What do you do at a red light?" I said "I usually check my emails and see what people are up to on Facebook." Old people at weddings always poke me and say "you're next". So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. Running away doesn't help you with your problems... unless you're fat. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood. I changed all my passwords to "incorrect", so that whenever I forget, it will tell me, "Your password is incorrect." Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant. Therefore, chocolate is salad. I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems. People say love is the best feeling, but I think finding a toilet when you've got diarrhea is better. Damn, I forgot to go to the gym today. That's 10 years in a row now... Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug. Saw some footage of polar bears drinking water today. It's obviously fake, everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola. "Don't kid yourself" would be a great slogan for a condom company. If you were home alone, and you heard a fart, would you be scared or laugh? Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to...Unless you're in prison! Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons. If I die in my sleep, at least I can actually say that I died doing what I loved. Dear rappers, please stop putting sirens in your songs. When I'm driving, it scares the crap out of me. Never give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping. If your boyfriend remembers your eye color after the first date, then you probably have small boobs. Do bankruptcy lawyers really expect to be paid? I'm going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding. My wife left me for a Hindu guy. At least he'll treat her better... they worship cows. If only God can judge us than Santa has some explaining to do. Don't be racist, be like Super Mario. He's an Italian plumber, created by Japanese people, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican. Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years. Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection! I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face! Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.