The Two Drunks And A Hot Dog – Fuuny drunk joke

One night two drunks were wandering the town trying to get drinks, but between the two of them, they only had a dollar and change. So the first drunk says, “Hey, I’ve got an idea – we put our money together and buy a hot dog.”

The second drunk, looking at him puzzled, says, “What the hell? I don’t want a hot dog; I want a goddamn drink!”

The first says, “I know. We buy the hot dog, stick it down the front of my pants, go into a bar and order our drinks. When the bartender tells us the price, you drop to your knees and suck the hot dog like you’re sucking my dick – and the bartender will throw us out and we won’t have to pay for anything!”

The second drunk says, “Well, it sounds like a good enough idea to me.”

So they buy the hot dog and the first drunk sticks it down his pants. They go into a bar, order two whiskeys, and when the bartender tells them the price, the second drunk drops to his knees and sucks on the hot dog. The bartender throws them out and tells them not to come back.

The drunks go on to hit 19 bars. Finally, the second drunk says, “We’ve got to switch places ’cause my knees hurt from dropping to the floor.”

The first drunk says, “You think that’s bad? I lost the hot dog in the third bar!”

Boy’s Funny Proposal To A Girl

Whatsapp english jokes

A boy went to propose a girl

Boy : Hey baby, I love u..!! Will you marry me?
Girl : What’s ur status??
Boy : I m the owner of my own big village and I have 1 security,own army,gold mine and wine
Girl : Love you 2 honey. yes Yes

After marriage…
Girl asked the boy where is your village…

And the Boy opens Clash of Clans

 

The best kids jokes -Funny Kids Jokes

Here are some best kids jokesFunny Kids Jokes

policeman caught a nasty little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other.

“Now listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever yo do to that poor, defenceless creature I shall personally do to you”
“In that case,” said the boy, “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”

 

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?” To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.” Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, “My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?” She looks into his eyes and says calmly, “No, I’m your son’s teacher.”

 

Ek chota baccha bahut der se ghar ke bahar khada darwaje ki ghanti bajane ki kosish kar raha tha.Toh ek budha aadmi aaya aur kaha:

Budha aadmi: Kya kar rahe ho beta?

Baccha: Uncle, yeh ghanti bajana chahta hoon.

 

Budha aadmi (ghanti bajake): Yeh lo bajgaya, ab kya hai?

Baccha: Ab bhago!

Pati, Patni aur Saas – Mobile Funny Joke in Hindi

पत्नि, पति से लड़ रही थी….

पति ने तंग आकर अपनी सास को मोबाइल से मैसैज किया :

आपका प्रोडक्ट मेरे मुताबिक नहीं चल रहा है,

इसके प्रोडक्शन में in-built कई त्रुटियाँ है जो मुझे
डिलीवरी के समय नहीं बताई गई थीं
अत: मैं इसे लौटाकर आप से एक्सचेंज की डिमांड करता हूँ….!

सास का तुरंत बिंदुवार प्रत्युत्तर आया :

  1. वारंटी खत्म हो चुकी है
  2. रिफंड या एक्सचेंज जैसी कोई
    पोलिसी नहीं हैं

  3. प्रोडक्ट की परफोरमंस बेहतर
    करना आपके ही हाथ में हैं

  4. प्रोडक्ट को यूज करने के नियम
    कायदे और सावधानियाँ
    डिलिवरी से पूर्व आपको
    फेरों के समय स-विस्तार बता दिये गये थे

  5. अब वैसे भी कंपनी ने नया
    प्रोडक्ट बनाना बंद कर दिया हैं

अतः इसी प्रोडक्ट से “Handle With Care”
के साथ जीवन यापन करने की सलाह दी जाती है…!

शुभेछु

आपकी सास ,
आख़िरी सांस तक
Funny Joke in Hindi , Hindi joke, Husband wife joke

Tishra kaun… Hindi Joke

Ek metting hoti hai uss metting mein sirf sardar hi sardar thay. Sare sardar iss baat par behas kar rahe thai ki sirf sardaro par hi jokes kyun bantain hai aur kisi par kyun nahi. Iss mein se ek sardar utha or bola ki main iske bare mein pata lagaounga.

Who iske liye America gaya aur waha ke president se mila aur bola ki sirf sardaron par hi jokes kyun banay jantain hai. Toh president bola ki main suna hai ki sardar mein mind kam hota hai.

Ye sunte hi sardar ko ghussa aagaya. President ne kaha ki main proof kar sakta hoon. Sardar bola kaise???

meeting.jpg

President: Acha bataon mere ghar mein main, meri bivi, mere bache, par thisra koun? Bohot sochne samajhne ke baad bhi sardar uske sawalo ka jawab nahi de paya.

Toh president ne jawab diya ki who thisra kon?… main Mister Clinton. Jawab leker sardar wapas aagaya phir metting bethi. Sabhi ne kaha kya tumne pata lagaya. Toh sardar ne kha ki haa. Hampe jokes iss liye bantain hai ki haam bewakuph hotain hai.

Yeh suntain hi waha par bethai sabhi sardar pinak gaye par unko shant karte hue sardar bola ki usne proof kiya hai. Chalo main tum sab se ek sawal karta hoon ki mere ghar mein main, meri bivi, mere bache, par thisra koun? Sabhi shochne lage par koi jawab nahi de paya tab sardar bola, “Are bhai thisra koun woh Mister Clinton.”

How to kill an ant?Asked in an Exam for 10 Marks!! Student Joke

  • Question: “How to kill an ant?Asked in an Exam for 10 Marks!!

Student:Mix Chilly Powder with  Sugar,& keep It Outside the Ant’s Hole..! After eating, Ant will Search for some Water near a Water tank.Push ant in to it.. =!! Now Ant will go to Dry itself Near Fire,When it Reaches fire, Put a Bomb into D fire..!! Then Admit Wounded Ant in ICU..!!  And Then Remove Oxygen Mask from it’s Mouth and Kill the Ant.. !!

MORAL:

Don’t Play with Students.. !!

They can do any thing for 15 Marks..